Just think about it for a second.
Have you ever actually met a man who was:
– Genuinely funny in person
– Emotionally intelligent but not because he read one Brene Brown quote in 2018
– Showered regularly, used soap, owned a towel that didn’t smell like mildew
– Not low-key condescending in a “just playing devil’s advocate” douchey kind of way
– Wasn’t avoiding marriage like it’s a government conspiracy, despite having a credit score that says he shouldn’t be trusted in a legal contract
– Had a full head of hair and wasn’t using it to distract from deep-rooted misogyny
– Had a clean apartment with real furniture, not a mattress on the floor and LED strip lights
– Didn't bring up Joe Rogan unprompted and say “he actually makes some good points sometimes”
– Didn’t get all big boy mad when he couldn’t find the words to express his big boy emotions
– Wasn’t statistically your highest potential murderer
…No?
So why are we still centering them?
I’m not saying hate men. I’m saying decenter them. There’s a difference.
You can still fuck them. Just stop scheduling your life around whether or not they text you back.
Available Options to Decenter Men:
Put your phone on Do Not Disturb. For everyone. Especially the man who thinks replying “haha true” is meaningful communication.
If a man texts you “wyd,” close your phone, drink some water, and read literally anything. A nutrition label. The back of a shampoo bottle. Anything will serve you more emotionally and intellectually.
If he ghosts, let him. If he reappears, act like you’ve never seen that number in your life.
Don’t argue with him. (He already fucking knows.) Don’t over-explain yourself. Don’t write a paragraph. You’re not his emotional intern.
Eat something. Go outside. Do one push-up. Call a friend who actually listens. Hydrate out of spite.
Light a candle. Do your laundry. Pretend he’s dead. (Emotionally, he probably is.)
Stop reacting. Stop anticipating. Stop trying to be chosen.
You don’t need to “win” a man’s attention. You need to remember who the fuck you were before you gave a shit.
And seriously—imagine what we could build if we just stopped caring what balding men with $8 in equity and three open Bumble convos think.
Women are out here calculating how to respond to a “yo” text like it’s a hostage negotiation when we could be, I don’t know, running empires, starting cults, rebuilding the economy, meditating on a rock, vibing, inventing new technology, reversing climate change, etc.
This isn’t feminism. This is basic math.
You give energy to a man, you lose power.
You withhold energy from a man, he starts malfunctioning.
It’s not a theory. It’s data.
So yeah.
Bitches: wake up.
You’ve got empires to build.
Stop checking if a 5'9" man with commitment issues and zero pictures you’re not embarrassed to show your friends watched your story.
He did.
It still doesn't matter.
And you’re busy.