(written, edited, and perfected with AI because why the hell would i waste real neurons on this.)

*terms & circumstances

by accessing this site, you agree to the following without negotiation, sympathy, or recourse:

1. usage policy.
this space exists for personal commentary, creative expression, satire, and general survival. no material on this site identifies any private individual by name. if you see yourself, that's between you and whatever god you still believe in.

2. voluntary assumption of risk.
you voluntarily assume the risk of reading material that may cause discomfort, regret, existential crises, karmic backlash, or the sudden urge to grow up. no damages shall be awarded for consequences you triggered yourself.

3. waiver of claims.
by continuing, you waive any right to claim defamation, invasion of privacy, emotional distress, or related torts. you also agree to release me, my descendants, my dog, my heirs, my houseplants, and my higher self from all liabilities, actual or imagined.

4. constitutional protection.
everything posted here is protected under the first amendment, including free speech, creative expression, opinion, and storytelling. welcome to america.

5. no cease & desists.
any threats, complaints, or cease & desist letters will be met with a screenshot, a “LOL”, and permanent placement on my personal clown registry.

6. governing law.
this agreement is governed by the laws of logic, karmic equity, and the principle that if you didn’t want the fallout, you should’ve acted right.

acceptance of terms:

by proceeding, you acknowledge:

• you came here on your own.

• you were not invited.

• you understand that no refunds, revisions, or hand-holding will be provided.

proceed accordingly, or don't. either way—you made your choice.

(if this website ruins your day, seek professional help. seriously.)