when the temu side chick self-reported to the entire internet mid-crime spree ⚠️🍆🍑👉👌😩💦😵

aka: how to tank a man’s entire legal defense by opening your mouth for attention 🧃

—

hypothetically.

lolz

🍆🍑👉👌😩💦

stfu.

imagine this.

⚠️

your lil
coke-binge situationship
was so
fucking
desperate,
🤡🔫👎
so thirsty for fucking relevance,
so terminally
obsessed w me...
she couldn’t even wait
five fucking business minutes
before announcing her

✨baby joy✨ —

with a man
currently under
felony fucking bond 🤡
for strangling
his actual
🔥 legal
🔥 wife
🔥 mid-fucking-pregnancy.

(you’re a fucking genius)

✍️🤡📉😭

—

yeah.
the same man
who drained
his wife’s bank account, 💸😘
after punching her while pregnant,
ghosted his infant child,
and fled state lines
without filing for divorce.
but sure.
let’s hard-launch
a double-life,
a whole embarrassing-ass family.
—mid-fucking-litigation.

🍭💰👶🏻

sister.
didn’t just post an update,
she posted a confession.
you turned a straight case
into a fucking circus
because your dignity
✨probably✨—
has a stimulant dependency
and no gag reflex.

👑

—

and what do we
call that,
legally?

🔹 intentional fraud — he induced marriage and pregnancy under false pretenses.
🔹 marital waste — he used his wife’s money to fund your fuck-ass delusional-deadbeat dad utopia.
🔹 bad-faith abandonment — then disappeared on his own child like “daddy” was a temporary vibe.

🦹‍♂️🏃💨

—

congrats,
you dumb fuck.

🤫🤏💰

and baby girl —
if he didn’t tell his wife
about you,
…fucking ever…
it’s on purpose…
and look,
he sure as hell
won’t tell the judge
about that
error of a baby.

🤢☠️

—

💖 also

BTW:

🤫

if i find out
you have my fucking rings…???? 💍💍

💰💸👮🏼‍♀️

oh, babe.

straight felony theft.💕
and i will press charges.

🚨 jail. 🚨

xoxo

one nut dropped the collective IQ by 80 points 🤡🍼✨

hypothetically!!!!

🧬🚫

—

he’s out of jail
💥 no job.
💥 no custody.
💥 no child support.
💥 no male instinct in his body.

and within like
five fucking seconds?

🚗 he’s back in a borrowed car
🛏️ laying pipe in a rental mattress
💸 using federal disability funds

to create—

💀 a new fucking dependent. 💀

yo.

jesus goddamn christ.

🚨 one hump.
🚨 one high-pitched squeal.
🚨 zero strategic planning.

and
somehow—
natural selection
took a goddamn smoke break.

⛓️🍆🤦‍♂️

—

bro.
you dropped
the collective IQ
of your bloodline
by at least 80 points
in one post-jail nut & cry.

📆💦🧬

—

but like, honey—

🍼🥴📉

as a concerned family member —

statistically?
💉 0.2% of pregnant women still use cocaine
🍼 8.4% still drink
💀 and both together?!?!
babe!!!
they form
cocaethylene —
a neurotoxic,
cardiotoxic baby-shaker metabolite
that’s literally detectable in amniotic fluid.

…

like hypothetically!!!

🧾🤡⚖️

just,
fun facts.

😈

—

but brad—
briguy—
dickbrain—

goddamn,
doesn’t feel like
this shit was
a planned pregnancy.
this shit was
a psychotic warning
from the CDC in real time.

🔥 low birth weight? fucking probably.
🔥 neurodevelopmental deficits? highly likely.
🔥 can’t eat, sleep, or console?

yeah,
welcome to
console parenting mode:
cocaine edition™.

—

fuck—
💀 this wasn’t a love story.
💀 this was a post-jail spiral
💀 with a cortisol spike
💀in a fucking rental unit.

and
when that
high-pitched
newborn cry hits?
yes sweetie—
HYPOTHETICALLY,
that shit’s not colic…
that’s motherfucking withdrawal
🖕🥺✨
from
a douchebag
who seems to think
being “a veteran” excuses
🔥 war crimes against
🔥 the whole goddamn
🔥 fucking gene pool.

—

📣 high key,

when the fetus
already qualifies
for a
plan of safe care
in texas
and hasn’t
even crowned yet???

🤡🍼✨

—

how tf.
how the actual fuck
did this become
a frat-level science experiment
sponsored by
wife beaters and vibes???

🫠🙏

like—

how tf
are you
out here building
a fuck-ass second family
with a controlled-substance subplot???

💀💨👶

—

for fucksake—

you think
texas courts
are gonna look
at a man
on felony DV bond
with a pregnant girlfriend
+ zero custody contact
and say:
“yes,
father of the
fucking year material.
let him manage the GI Bill cash.”

nah.
they’re gonna
put his sperm
in fucking timeout.
and
maybe
exhume
his goddamn
license to parent.
retroactively.

🎉📉🍼

damn dumbass…a texas divorce 🐍⭐ is gonna HURT🔥🔥🔥💍💸🚫

i’ve been
hardcore researching
texas family law.

for fucking funsies.

💍🤫

lol

and
guess what??

“we were seperated—”🤥

❌❌❌

shut
the
fuck
up.

👰🏼‍♀️💸💨

✨baby,
🚫 that’s not a defense.
that’s a
posthumous
fucking
hallucination.✨
a full-blown
psychotic break
in goddamn sentence form.

you were
separated from
your fucking spine,
not your wife and baby. 🍼

📉💸💀

sweetheart!
🚫 you didn’t “move on.”
you moved in.
with a chick who
looks like me
if i got hit in the head
with a tire iron
and then
shopped
exclusively at temu.

🤫🤭

no like,
the actual
walmart starter pack
✴️💙🛒
…of a household,
with three kids
that weren’t yours,
a woman who—
(and i quote)
🇺🇸
…
”never had a deep thought in her life.”

✨🤰🤭
and
somehow
my money
was still in your pocket.

like adultery
was
maybe covered by
the fucking GI bill???

👨🏼🚫💍💔

fucking idiot.

✨nah, bro.✨

brad.
🚫 you didn’t petition.
🚫 you didn’t separate.
…you fucking ran.

💀⚔️

💥 ran from your wife.
💥 ran from your kid.
💥 ran from child support.
ran from
💥 the final restraining order
like it was—
💥 optional fucking reading.

💫🐍

fuck babe.

no sugar.
we are still
✨very
✨fucking
✨married💫—
while you
were out here
funding
some random bitches kids’
sippy cup lifestyle 😱💸
with our fucking marital funds.

🤠🫵🤥✨

awwww
🚫 this wasn’t “separation.” 🚫
this was
spousal impersonation
with a side of public fraud.

🤥🪄💨

—

brad!!!
🔥 you never filed.
🔥 you never notified the court.
🔥 you never said shit to your wife or your child.

…but you still collected.

🃏benefits.
🃏money.
🃏time.
🃏sympathy.

💰🤫

uh oh!

—

no like, BABE
🚫 this is not personal.
this is—
✍️ abandonment,
✍️ fraud,
✍️ concealment,
✍️ and financial abuse
…under a marriage that never legally ended.

this is—
community property law 🥀
with a
texas fucking boot
on its
goddamn neck.

🇨🇱🤡💸

—

✦ tex. fam. code § 7.001 🤡

“just and right” division.

which means
the judge
doesn’t give
a single fucking shit
if she made you feel ✨seen✨
while i was over here
keeping the fucking lights on.

✨🧍‍♀️💰

translation
for your stupid ass:
you don’t drain the marriage
to bankroll a second household
and then ask for half.

—

👨‍⚖️ “he gets less. significantly less.”

—

✦ tex. fam. code § 7.009 🤡

fraud on the community✨

✍️📉😭

aka:
using marital money
like it’s your
personal baby-daddy stimulus
then acting shocked
when your child is on foodstamps.

the court calls that
reconstituting the estate.
i call it ✨fuck around and find out.✨

—

you weren’t just…✨“unfaithful.”✨🦄
naaaah,
you were
🔥 burning
🔥 marital
🔥 equity
for a
tax-deductible affair.

🤥❌

you built
a whole-ass
💩 illegitimate
💩 bigamous-affinity
on joint goddamn assets.

🔥👖🔥👖🔥🔥👖🔥👖🔥👖🔥👖

that’s fucking crazy.

💸🏃‍♀️💨

also the
IRS is still after you,
homie.

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

nah.
that’s—
community depletion 🤔⚖️
in a
side bitch zip code.

💍➡️🗑️✨

and the judge?
he’s not
gonna
call you a liar.

nope.
he’s gonna
call you
motherfucking liable.

📜⚖️🥂

(welcome to court, babe…
we’re gunna be here awhile)

💸
💸
💸
💸

xoxo

your wife and child.

🔥

is it a felony to steal 500+ adderall?? 🤝🏻💥🚨💀

babe!
brad—
hubby,
baby daddy,
legal spouse—

how’s that
documented 🤫
drug problem going???

—

like,
remember how
you were in some kind
of rehab
the summer before
i met you??

baby!

🤝🏻💥🚨💀

didn’t you have
friends that
fully fucking intervened
and they
shipped your dumb-ass
to a
whole different state??

👤🔫💰

was it…california?

i think so.

damn so like,
when i met you—

you stole felony levels
of prescription pills—
the adderall, right?

🤯😩😫

i still have
all the emails
of you confessing
and offering
to pay me back
for everything you stole
back in 2023!

🤫💊

and then,
stole…like
hundreds more???

but…

i don’t remember
pressing charges
but…

it is…a felony???

💊⛓️💔

—

here’s what i got:

felony theft:
in colorado,
theft of items
valued at $2,000 or more
is considered a felony.

⚠️🧠💊

—

shit babe!
the street value
of 500+ adderall pills
would almost certainly
exceed this threshold,
likely resulting in
a class 6
or higher felony.

—

that is crazy!

but honey!!!

then you
went on record
and told
third party sources
you were using
twice a week—
coke right??

🥷💰🔫

while
publicly
masturbating
online
from my bathroom??

while i was
9 months pregnant??

and
you were
repeatedly
punching me
in the head???

🚓⚖️

omg.

and then
public exposure????
in my parents’ homes…???

👴🏻📸🌳

out
in
the
open???

on a video??

i have saved???!!!!

—

because
it was still linked
to public chat rooms????

LMFAO

👮🏻✋🏻🛑

like,
you’re raising
some random bitches
young children
while
legit sex videos
exist of you
currently…
🍆👀
online
from your
legal wife’s
laundry room??

👴🏻👀🤤

HOLY SHIT.

—

so…
you,
on record
have a cocaine
and adderall theft
felony problem.

💰🏃‍♂️

while facing
felony level dv charges????

—

ALL ON RECORD??? 🔫😠💰

fuuuuuck babe.

…

i asked
for you not
to get jail time.

but now???

—

i feel like
i forgot
so much shit
that hey
maybe,
there might be
other felonies,
that like…matter.

babe. 🤫

—

sweetie,
why did you
fail out of the
army reserves again???

what did that
piss test say, honey???

🪖🔒

lol. damn.

do you know
how many
texts i have—
of you confessing
to theft?

💊⛓️😟

it’s on record.

…
💔 with my doctors.
(across multiple states)
💔 with the pharmacists.
💔 with the boulder police.

…

i just never
pressed charges.

😨😨

my mistake!

—

hope you’re clean. 💣

kisses.

love you.

(oh btw:
i have literally everything
saved and organized
on multiple drives,
lol)

how you’re fiduciarily fucked 💣💥🖕🥺✨

hiiiiiii

so just circling back
with the verbatim transcript
of the thing you swore
maybe
didn’t exist 🕊️
and also reminder
you’ve had this screenshot
since summer 2025 💕

—

fuckkkkkkk

😇💣

baby!!!!

i didn’t walk in asking for vibes.
i walked in asking for help.

🙃👍

not “can you recommend a podcast.”
not “what’s a roth, king.”

nah!

nope.

🙏🕊️

i said—
on the record,
in plain goddamn english—

i have a traditional ira.
i’ve been paying into it since i was twenty-six.
i don’t understand the mechanics.
i’m not pretending to.
i want you to help me transfer it.
to your company.
and manage it.

🚗💨🍆

AND BABY,
SHE ACCEPTED.

awwww.
honey!

that’s not flirting.
that’s not chit-chat.
that’s me
being a dumb little girl
asking a fiduciary
for help.

that’s entrustment,
sweetie!!!

🖕🥺✨

and a lack of record-keeping??!?!

uh oh!

🐂💩🤥

FINRA??!??.

…

and i told you,
…………..she deleted it.

and you
already disclosed

you
have
ZERO GODDAMN RECORDS BABY.

✍️✨🫣🤫🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

fucking

yiiiiiiiiiiiikes.

—

no but like…
that’s literally me saying:

“i have a long-term financial asset.
i lack expertise.
i’m relying on you to guide me.”

🖕😇

which—awkward—
is literally how fiduciary relationships are born. 💀⚰️

—

shit hun.

because
here’s the thing
you don’t get to un-say later:

when someone discloses

✨ the existence of an investment account
✨ the duration of contributions
✨ their lack of sophistication
✨ and explicitly asks you to manage or transfer it

dang yo!
you don’t get to
pop up later like:

“ummm actually we had no duty 🥺👉👈”

—

no, baby.

🙈🤷‍♂️💥

this wasn’t “general information.”

this was
🔥 personal
🔥 financial
🔥 reliance,
served motherfucking hot.

—

and y’all are fiduciarily cooked.

🥀💀

rip to the hypothetical defense.
you tried,
like…really hard.

xoxo

💀 so were you high on coke when y’all met on tinder? bro, RIP to your dignity. 🔥🔥

aka: southern disappointment, couples mugshots and goddamn shame

—

bro.

coke is a hell of a drug.
am i right???

cuz
goddaaaaaaaaaamn,
look at how you fell
right through fucking hell—
straight on your dumb lard ass.

🔥🔥🔥🔥

👏🏻 we
👏🏻 do
👏🏻 not
👏🏻 claim
👏🏻 you.
or…
whatever tf that thing is.

✨🪦✨

—

nah be fr.
this isn’t
a blended family. 🤡
this is
a revolving door
of untreated STDs, delusion,
and post-jail-nut consequences.

💀🍼

—

like…awwww.

thank you sooooo much besties,
for giving me
all this info
right as discovery
just
motherfucking
opened.
saves me time,
and unneeded empathy,

you dumb bitch!

🧾💋

civil divorce?
lol nah,
NOT IN
A MILLION FUCKING YEARS.
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
i gave him that out
for a
FULL YEAR,
I SIGNED THE PAPERS—
WHICH HE LEFT (UNSIGNED)
BEFORE HE BEGGED ME NOT TO.
(hoe, you are so fucking dumb)
🖕🥺✨
because
yo—
bro
clearly
didn’t wanna
embarrass himself
even fucking further
by marrying
the goddamn disaster
he was humping
in between
🤡 felony bond hearings
🤡 and blow benders.

nooooo,
you’re a fucking joke.

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

aw.

so now???
more like
🔥 civil fucking war. 🔥
thanks for the rage-bait.
before i legally request
the future
of future
of future

HALF.

⚔️📬

for-fucking-ever.

—

no
fucking
mercy.

—

BUT

awww baby daddy
#4?
#5?
#6???

holy shit.

you are a goddamn tramp.

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

—

unreal
unfuckingparalleled
levels of
motherfucking disrespect.

🔥
homie,
🚫 that’s not a pattern.
that’s a statistical white trash fucking crisis. 🫠📉
girl
how tf are you
fighting for attention
with a married man
straight out of jail
who couldn’t even win
his first fucking sobriety test?

LMFAO.

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

—

she’s all like
👏🏻 “single mom energy”? 👏🏻
oh.
honey!
is that why
your goddamn
hump-and-dump visited
my fucking mother-in-law?????

…

yoooooo.

STOPPPPPPP.

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

THE TRASH WRITES ITSELF.

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

like,
LINDA…
GIRL…
MOM….
lmfao.
be for fucking real.
aren’t you…
undoubtedly
goddamn mortified 😮🙌
to your fake-ass
little southern soul???

of this
tragic-ass
absolute violent disaster
of a pathetic excuse for an offspring.

👏🏻 holy
👏🏻 fucking
👏🏻 shit.

…

the social obliteration.
suffered…
in a year????

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
like babe!!!
i’m so fucking sorry —
do you just
lie to your friends?
or,
say
fuck it
& open with,
💔💍
”omg yes—
he’s doing…
💀 child abandonment
💀 felony strangulation
and
he got
💀 his girlfriend
with multiple children,
unspecified number of babydaddy’s,
fucking pregnant
💀 right after
💀 goddamn release
💀 from multiple
💀 fucking county jails!”

💥💥💥

…👀

yes,
babe!
he’s still married.💫
there’s…
several dv charges pending,
hasn’t seen his baby since 2024.

🖤

“don’t worry y’all!
his girlfriend was pregnant,
before his wife
even knew
she fucking existed
on goddamn planet earth…

because my son’s
a fucking deranged psychopath.”

✨👑✨

wow.

…

no like,

✨DAMN GIRL!✨

fucking CLASSY!!!!

😭💅

—

anyway.
see you soon,
besties.

💅

respectfully,

the wife.
still.
legally.
surprise.

—

(this will be painful and SOOOOO expensive for you, kisses.)

🐂💩🤥 the RICO starter-pack; lolz jk jk jk…but emotionally? spiritually? groupchat-ally??✨✨✨RICO ADJACENT✨✨✨

RICO =
🤑 Racketeer
🤑 Influenced
🤑 and Corrupt Organizations Act.

—

girlies!
it’s a federal law
designed to go after
organized crime.

babe!

think:
money laundering,
wire fraud,
conspiracy,
and your ex’s friend group.

—

no, no, NO.
shut up!
like!—

aka:
when it stops being “a lil messy”
and starts being federal.

☠️💼⚖️

…

jkjkjk

because you would need…

🔥 2+ predicate crimes
(like wire fraud, bank fraud, identity theft, obstruction, etc.)
🔥 across 10+ years
🔥 OR within a pattern
🔥 by an enterprise
(even informal — could be a squad, a business, a MLM)

BUT
BUT
BUT

🔑

the key word here

…is
✅ "coordinated."

lolz.

…so…

(idk man
be serious who tf knows
what y’all been doing
looking at this track record)

🤥💩

………buttttt
look
….what i’m saying
✅ emotionally?
✅ spiritually?
✅ groupchat-ally??

…

✨✨✨RICO ADJACENT VIBES✨✨✨

—

so like,

yo.
you ever think
maybe…
i’m not crazy—
🔥🤫🔥
maybe
i’m just
the only one
in the room who
isn’t in goddamn denial
or…
on somebody’s lil payroll.

💅🤡

maybe
(hear me out)
i just don’t speak
delusional defense attorney.

☠️⚖️

maybe
i’m the only one here
not sponsored by gaslighting inc.™
or emotionally invested in protecting a man
whose brain is 60% virtual-gang-bang energy
and unpaid fucking taxes.

💥📉

—

like…

u…fucking…think???

🥴

—

like wow.
sorry i didn’t respond
to felony-fucking-level betrayal
with a soft voice
and a goddamn healing crystal.

🧿✨

my bad
for not clapping politely
while y’all played
musical goddamn chairs
with fucking accountability.

🎶🪑💀

—

no for real.
i’m soooo sorry
my reaction was the issue
and not the part where
half of y’all needed the fifth
to cover when
the group chat
turned into
a goddamn RICO case.

☠️📱🧾

—

she’s spiraling?
bro
i’m literally
formatting fucking citations
while your client
forgets he has a child.

💩🗑️

—

oh yeah???

…

she’s crazy?
bro
i’m the
only one here
not doing crisis PR
for a man
with an active bond
and a dick-pic mirror addiction.

📸🚓🤳

she’s CRAZY???

ok…
but
your man is on
💥 his eighth mistress,
third fucking alias,
and his car smells like
goddamn regret
and fuck-ass creatine.

🚗💨🍆

cool.

—

babez!

maybe…
i’m not the problem.
i’m the goddamn reason
y’all
finally started
spelling fucking
“defamation” correctly.

✍️📎

—

no babe.
i’m not spiraling.

but,
yo 4r

you ever seen someone
get absolutely bodied
by a fucking google doc
and an instagram voice memo?

—

anyway.
not accusing anyone.
just looking through—

screenshots
venmo logs
text records
✨ vibes

BABY.

you’re out here
laundering alibis
while he’s over there
acting like
the fifth amendment
is a love language.

💀📱💬

—

buckle up, babe. 🦋

✨ lfg ✨

misogynist dream girl fantasy 🔥: 404 not found

hi yes!
i heard you
were looking for:

✨ the “hysterical baby mama”
✨ the “overemotional wifey”
✨ the “insta-crazy ex™”

…with a ring light
and zero legal dexterity

—

and you were
so excited to meet her.
⚠️ you printed my diary.
you made
⚠️ a billion-file social disclosure.
you brought
⚠️ a whole litigation team
to screenshot
⚠️ my trauma unfolding

✨…in realtime. 🏠🔥

//

(thanks for that y’all!)

🐀💫
—

but plot twist,
bitch:

✨ she doesn't exist. ✨

nah.

yo.
i learned how to
emotionally regulate 🦋💓
a long time ago—fam.
albeit,
imperfectly.

but
damn,
i’m not
out here writing
miss congeniality manifestos 🥰💞either,
✨🤷‍♂️✨
—team.

—

nope. 👯‍♀️

you didn’t get
the unhinged girl 💔💍
from that pdf.
you got the
👑 sole-parent,
👑 court-compliant,
👑 rage-sobered version
with
a polite vibe,
courtroom lipstain,
and a
child support spreadsheet
that could
end fucking lives.

🔥🔥🔥🔥

you were
praying
i'd show up
late
with a bad attitude
and a spilled latte.
instead
i showed up
in silence,
logged in before you,
and spoke calmly
while you tripped over
a trial date.

you wanted:

🥺 crying.
🥺 oversharing.
🥺 procedural errors.
🥺 maybe an instagram story meltdown.
🥺 “the breakdown moment.”

instead you got:

🧘🏼‍♀️🤸🏼‍♀️✨

“i believe
i paid that fee,
your honor,
and
i have the receipt.
i'm currently
attending law school
(in a blizzard)
with a toddler.
thank you so much.”

👶🏼🧃✨

let that sink in.

—

because
newsflash.💥

i don’t bring this in bad faith.
i don’t bring this to be dramatic.
i don’t bring this to seek revenge.

i brought it because—

…

…

💥 i was defrauded. 💥

🙃👉👈

because
i was actually harmed.
💳✨💫
and i am
still suffering
the goddamn consequences.
🔥 in cash,
🔥 in fucking cortisol,
🔥 and in active captivity.

—

you
needed me
to be:

🦋 legally illiterate
🦋 emotionally unstable
🦋 intimidated by your tone
🦋 wrecked by my own evidence

and instead
i was:

🌼 articulate
🌼 unfazed
🌼 professionally dressed
🌼 and actively hurting your case by existing

🌈🦄✨

—

o.m.g.

y’all!

you built
an entire narrative
about my tone.
my professionalism.
my personality.
my posts.

✨

i built
an entire case
while surviving
the actual devastation
caused by the very individuals
you are still attempting —
with a straight face —
to defend.

✨🥇

your honor,
they really drafted
declarations
about my attitude
while i was
🤫 documenting my assault,
🤫 burying my savings,
🤫 chasing down mail
from three states,
and finishing
law school finals—
while coordinating DV shelters.

🙏✨🕊️

babe!

they keep circling
my sarcasm
like it’s more offensive
than the actual fraud.

✨💫🥰

—

so, wait—
tell me again
…who’s unwell?

hey jess, quick question(s) 🚗💋

hey jess 💕

…hi girlie!

what’s up, babe???

—

so like,
super random
but i’ve been meaning to ask.

🫶🏻💓

like…

what were you texting my husband about
while i was birthing our first child?

…

like no rush, just wondering.

👤💭

—

because i was
a little busy.
in fucking surgery,
pulling his child
out of my actual body.

while you were…

🩷 texting him.

🙅🏼‍♀️ not once.
🙅🏼‍♀️ not twice.
a whole ass thread. 💫
…mid-birth.

but like,
girl!
half the messages are…missing.
like poof — vanished.
super chill!

—

so like,
imagine the level
of pick-me audacity it takes to

💌 text a married man while his wife (your client) is in surgery
💌 knowingly put her name on all the payment docs
💌 and then conceal the shit you sent her to sign

—

just curious, bestie —

✨ were you guys flirting while the spinal block hit?
✨ was he giving you little updates from the operating room?
✨ or were you both just really inspired by my open abdomen to discuss your unspoken bond?

girlie!

🙂 was it about love?
🙂 was it about coke?
🙂 was it about the LinkedIn leads…
🙂 you were allegedly paying him for—
🙂 out of your own Venmo account?

…

or maybe…
the policies you fraudulently pushed
while hanging with my hubby on your couch???

👯‍♀️

who knows!
you do 💅🏼

so crazy, am i right??

—

i mean, i get it.

🦋 some people send flowers.
🦋 some people say “congrats!”

and some people
secretly text your husband mid-cesarean
while pretending to be your financial advisor.

lol.

🥰💞

girls who get it, get it.
girls who text through the c-section?
get whatever karma they fucking summoned.

—

just one more,
promise:

🤡✌️

when you're
signing someone up
for life insurance
as their FROR
while they’re in labor...

is it best practice to:

💫 text their spouse privately
💫 invite him over your apartment
💫 send him money for “business leads”
💫 and move all convos to Instagram DM?

—

girl!

i didn’t take
illegal shit: fiduciary edition 101 yet,
so i’m still learning

🩷💅🏼

—

✨ no accusations.
✨ no conclusions.
✨ just fucking vibes.

—

🖤 anyway!
no hard feelings, jess.

because if everything
was totally on the record—
including those
💥 IRA rollover convos
💥 via Instagram direct message —
💥 before you blocked me after sending a legal notice.

i’m like,
so sure there’s
a totally normal explanation
that doesn’t involve
👀 deleting texts,
👀 deleting DMs,
or…
👀 deleting yourself
from the client file post-separation.

💀

babe!

can’t wait to see how
you answer under oath.

xoxo

kisses!

💋

how my husband’s live-in girlfriend tried to get me expelled from law school 🕯️

baby,
you don’t even go here.

🔥🤫🔥

but shit.
riding felony dick rent-free

—

so like,
i’m not saying
👏 my husband’s current girlfriend
👏 filed multiple complaints
👏 trying to get me
👏 expelled from
👏 my own JD program

😮🙌
…
while he was out
on felony bond
for pregnancy assault
and paying her rent
with VA beneficiary pay
linked to our socials.

🕊️🤍

—

i’m just saying
that if a woman had,
in theory:

✨ submitted multi-page
fucking stalker essays
about how “disturbing” it is
that i have…a website

✨ argued that talking
about my own abuse
makes me unfit for
the fucking legal profession.

✨ and framed being mad
about being strangled
while pregnant
as “defamation.”

girl.

what the fuck?

…😦😶‍🌫️🫣

…it would be crazy
to let her weaponize
a student conduct portal
against a protected party
with an infant and a restraining order.

lolz.

especially if that woman:

🔥 doesn’t go to the school
🔥 is actively sleeping with the defendant in a DV case
🔥 and lives in a house he ran to after fleeing his own kid
🔥 while he’s still legally married.

but like…

hypothetically.

—

also hypothetically?

that would be
so fucking embarrassing
(also a crime!)
they should probably
thank me for not
personally taking legal action
for actual defamation.

like,
what are we doing here?

🚩 you’re not a student.
🚩 you’re not a lawyer.
🚩 you’re definitely not a victim.
🚩 you don’t even seem to be…remotely intelligent.

🙃👉👈

wait,
is that a disney tat??

💋

holy shit.

(tracks so fucking hard)

—

baby.

✨🧠✨

you’re a temporary girlfriend ⭐️

trying to get
the mother with
a restraining order
expelled from school
because
you don’t like
the reality about your
lil married live-in
deadbeat boyfriend.

✨💫

and while
you were submitting
documented essays
about my “tone,”
i was…
i don’t know…

surviving felony-level violence
and raising his abandoned child.

🏆🤡

because
i’m just a girl, 🦋
reading her
criminal law textbook
while someone else’s girlfriend
tries to prosecute me
for being
funnier and
more legally accurate.

—

anyway

💥 shoutout to free speech.
💥 shoutout to not getting expelled.
💥 shoutout to the JD program that didn’t fall for the DARVO.
💥 shoutout to restraining orders,
felony bonds, and actual records —
y’all did more work
than conduct ever could.

—

and shoutout to
the wannabe counselor
who accidentally gave me
a documented retaliation record
because she couldn’t handle
that i’m still fucking here.

📚 still in school.
⚖️ still protected.
🖤 still writing.
🍼 still raising the baby you tried to replace.

stay absolutely obsessed, babe.

✊🏻🥺

when you’re guilty af, but you say “fuck it” and hire a lawyer w the child support cash anyway. 🤪🤦🏼💸

you ever watch a man
spend the child support
he refuses to pay...
just to hire lawyers
to fight
the mother of his child…
over shit
he actually did?

sick. 🔥
demonic. 🔥
fucking stupid. 🔥

🏃🏼‍♂️💨👶🏼💸

✨let’s review the cast.✨

…

junior associate: rage hang-ups™

he shows up in zoom
sounding like a reddit thread
with a law degree.
says “no no no” 🙋🏻‍♂️
like he’s been cornered
in a group chat by a single mom
hangs up on me,
a lot. ✊🏻🥺
because, shit—
this is not looking good.
the rage? a decoy. 💀
the confidence? faked. 💀
the vibe?

✨“my client lied to me but i cashed the retainer so now we ride.”✨💫

old miss “um actually”

nobody really knows
what she does.
besides make sure to correct
a sitting judge mid-hearing,
over some bullshit.

📣❤️🙌

objection!
to reality.
🎬 that’s a fucking wrap.
lmfao.
the social skills. 😅
which went as well
as you'd expect.
looking like,

✨“yeah… that’s not how the fifth amendment works.”✨

🫸💥🫷

queen of
speaking up
exactly once
and being wrong.

💔

✨the strategy✨
gaslight the record,
drain the funds,
look confused on camera.

🤝😊

✨the result✨
opting out
of fatherhood
and justice
at the same fucking time.

goddamn gangster.

🤜🏻✨🤛🏻

anyway.
hope that VA and
GI bill bonus for
“having dependents”
is going somewhere good.
besides…
trying to rewrite history
in front of the bench.
while your actual wife
reps herself
with your abandoned toddler
in the background.

…

deadbeat dad award
of the fucking year.

🏆🥇✨

🖤 court-cam couture, baby.
🖤 broke boy legal team, sponsored by delusion.

welcome to “who tf asked you?” ✨legal edition 🧠 (vowels were harmed in the making of this hearing)

🦋

for real though
elite levels of diabolical—
when a zoom-room
full of adults
with law degrees
treat my last name
like a group project
nobody fucking studied for.

✨

like wow.
we’re live.
on the record.
and the energy is:

😃 “maybe it’s lao?”
😃 “maybe it’s benatro?”
😃 “is she a ventro today?”
😃 “whatever her abuser’s lawyer just said!”

BABE.
this is not build‑a‑bitch.

sweetie.
we are in court.
in front of a judge.
and you opened your mouth
and thought your job
included correcting my own fucking name.

🙃🧻

—

✨ context, for the delusional:

a full-grown woman
with jr. bro backup—
chose that moment
to correct a DV survivor
and clarify her vowels.

like i forgot
what my own name was
after filing a lawsuit
with my fucking surname on it
while raising a toddler
in a goddamn blizzard
from law school
on a shitty hotspot.

🍦🧠

girl.
the real question,
do you even know
how unlikable you sound?

—

like did we—
not get bullied in high school??
or is that why you’re like this.

lol
and all this fuckery,
after junior associate hang-up bro
already tried that shit,
flopped mid‑sentence,
and practically rage‑quit the call.
bless his panicked little emergency exits.

💅💀

—

it’s not giving helpful.
it’s not giving accurate.
it’s not even giving loyal.
it’s giving:

✨ “maybe if we rename her,
we can reframe her.” ✨

like:
🚫 “less wife.”
🚫 “less victim.”
🚫 “less threat.”

🧾🧠✨

…as in, me.
…as in, what?
…as in, WHO THE FUCK ASKED???

🫠💍

—

you’re out here
publicly correcting
a name i share
with the man who:

🚩 strangled me
🚩 stalked me
🚩 never corrected shit

while i’m logged in
with his abandoned toddler
on no fucking sleep
fighting for my life

and you
felt moved
to edit.
my. vowels?

🥴🥴🥴

yo!
if you want his
last name that bad?

✨ marry the fucking mess
✨ cosign the debts
✨ explain the burner accounts + stalking
✨ and show up to court whispering

“she gave those bruises to herself.”

🧾🤡

embarassing.

oops! all the consequences of my actions: side hoes edition™

🦋

it’s honestly
so magical when women who:
✨ knew i existed,
✨ knew i was the wife,
✨ knew there was a baby involved,
✨ and still benefited from that man anyway,

act like
the fucking victims.
😮🙌

lol.

and now?
y’all are mad
i’m still breathing?
mad i’m talking?
mad i didn’t roll over
and let you
finish the goddamn con?

ok.
so let’s play
a new game:
“what isn’t a crime?”
or better yet:

what y’all
actually did!
(allegedly)

🧃🧸🥺🌈

—

like baby girl,
if you’re stalking me,
reporting me,
and posting fucking fairy tales about me,
just know:
i’m not mad.
i’m not even surprised.
i’m just documenting
the stupidity.

💅🧾

and if you wanna talk crimes
(hypothetically! potentially! allegedly!)

babe,
let’s at least
keep it ✨educational✨:

✨ category 1: harassment + stalking ✨

😶‍🌫️ checking my stories daily
😶‍🌫️ posting shit after being corrected
😶‍🌫️ lurking on burner accounts like it’s not creepy af
😶‍🌫️ third-party stalking because you think that’s a legal loophole
—

🦋 girlie,
that’s not “checking in” —
that’s a digital restraining order
waiting to happen

💻🚫

✨ category two: false reporting ✨

🫣 contacting my school and the cops with ai-generated delusions
🫣 leaving out the entire context on purpose
🫣 turning your bad decisions into “safety concerns”
—

🧚‍♀️ it’s not advocacy, babe.
it’s weaponized white womanhood.

✨ category three: defamation baby! ✨

🔥 repeating provably false shit
🔥 pretending vibes protect you from liability
🔥 trying to make your own regrets my reputation

…bitch,
a porno???
(don’t worry sweetie,
i saved that shit.)
—

🦋 reminder:
“i was mad”
isn’t a legal defense.
nor is ✨delulu✨

✨👤🫵🏻

✨ category four: intimidation + retaliation ✨

👏🏻 filing fake complaints
👏🏻 telling other people lies to isolate me
👏🏻 real efforts to get me kicked out of school,
👏🏻 blacklisted, isolated, or afraid to speak
—

🧠 not you playing victim
and prosecutor???
lmfao.
while i’m over here
with the baby
and the actual trauma

🍼📂

✨ category five: willfully benefiting from a whole ass scam ✨

🚩 letting a man co-fund your life while dodging child support & benefits
🚩 living inside stolen fucking peace
🚩 playing dumb about the source of the money
🚩 knowing he beat my ass and being like “lol idc!”

—
pure dumb bitch shit.

✨ category six: financial fraud (allegedly, lol) ✨

🤡 accessing financial info you should never have been authorized to use
🤡 manipulating policies or accounts while pretending to “help”
🤡 profiting from paperwork you didn’t explain, fund, or legally own

🦋 girl math is adorable
until it becomes ✨ wire fraud ✨
—

bonus points if you:

🏆 ghosted the actual client
🏆 communicated off-platform
🏆 and then continued lurking after being removed from the account

🧠 babe…
when i say
“my lawsuit writes itself,”

💀🧾
i’m not being poetic.
i’m being fucking procedural.

—

✨ all allegedly, of course ✨

—

like. girlies.

if you didn’t do anything wrong,
why are you following me harder than your own life goals?

why are you
watching
my life
like your survival
fucking depends on it?

💀😘✨

why are you
this committed
to silencing someone
you claim isn’t telling the truth?

🦋

i’m just out here
💋 being an actual single mom,
💋 surviving ongoing financial & legal domestic violence.
💋 filing court documents,
💋 and trying to figure out how to afford milk.

you’re the one
😮 rage-posting
from your
dumb-ass situationship
😮 with my name
in your goddamn mouth.

🌼

honey,
if you didn’t do
anything wrong,
you wouldn’t need me to shut tf up.

🪞🕊️✨

careful out there.

🕊️🪢 this karmic cycle is a dickhead

i swear
i passed you.
random ass black truck.

so like—
❌ wrong truck.
❌ wrong setup.
❌ wrong everything.

random-ass
trailer hitched.
💥 not lifted.
💥 not fucking flashy.
💥 not part of your usual
“i’m overcompensating” work fleet.

😤💫

but yet—
i fucking felt you.

i hate this,
btw.

🤫 💫

—

like wtfuck.

through the glass.
just a fucking blur.
but like,
i swear saw you.

💥💫

and i swear
you saw me too.
like,
we stared.
that weird,
ghost,
slow-motion pass
like time bent
or some shit.
just to fuck with me.

cool. cool cool cool.

and like—

neither of us
were even in the vehicles
we were supposed to be in.
which somehow
made it fucking worse.

✨🪞💀

like the universe
stripped the identifiers
just to ask
if i still knew
how to find you
and of fucking course
i did.

fuck.

—

bro.
i wasn’t looking.
i guess.
🚫 not today.
🚫 not on that road.
🚫 not for that truck.

but
i always am.
accidentally.
fucking pathetically.

—

it’s like
my nervous system
hasn’t been updated.
that you
checked the fuck out.
once again.

💫🛻🕯️🕊️

and god
i really fucking hate that.

i hate
that i still check
every black truck.
every loud engine.
every maybe.

i hate
that i feel the string
even when the person
on the other end
hasn’t existed in years.

—

fuck.
fuck.
fuck.

like,
i don’t even
admire you anymore.
it’s sad.
i’m not like,
in love with you.
i guess.

but some parts of me
still think
you’ll show up.
on a fucking mountain,
on a nowhere road,
like before.
in a life
that isn’t even yours anymore.
or at least
send a goddamn
smoke signal
that you
even
fucking
remember me.

but nah.
just broken promises.
for-fucking-ever.
🙂✨🔫

—

and you
know what
the dumbest shit is—
if it was you,
i know you'd look here.

🕯️ not to say anything.
🕯️ not to start anything.
just to see
if i noticed too.

because be fr
you have
always watched.

you
never let go.
even when i tried.

even when i made
a whole fuck-ass new family.
💫🎓🪖

(and yeah,
i was nevertheless
loyal as fuck
to that actual whole
grown-ass demon;
baby!)

—

so yeah.
bro—i’m here.
logging it.
or whatever.
even though
i wish i could delete
the fucking instinct
to look for
a goddamn ghost.

fate’s a dickhead.

🕊️🪢

brad—why do y’all seem so tense? 🥺👉👈

bro.

like chill.

👀💻💥

because seriously.
if i were lying?

dawg.

💀 you’d be reposting it.
💀 tagging the squad.
💀 laughing about how embarrassing it is.

not giving a fuck.
but nah.

you’re stressed.
like, really stressed.

—

so,
be honest w me.
how shook are you, exactly, 😮⚡️
that the internet will hear this shit?

💀📣

because look,
if you genuinely believed 🥺🙏
i was “lying,”
virality would be
your dream scenario.

✨😌✨

if my story was fake,
you’d want it everywhere.

😂🤣📱👍

you’d be like:
“yes babe, go viral. please. 💖🤩
i would love a million witnesses to watch you implode.”

😱💥💋📈

but nah,
you’re freaking tf out.
🔥 you’re stalking me.
🔥 you’re spiral‑watching on burners.
🔥 posting “your side” in private.
🔥 blocking mutuals before they can fact-check.

bro.

that is not “conviction.”
that is goddamn containment.

🧠💥

—

so let’s not pretend
you’re upset because
i’m “making things public.”

🤳✨🎬

you love being public.

🔞🍑🍆🤫🌙

lol.
nope.

so, you’re upset
because you already know they’re true, 👀
and now
other people know too.

😶‍🌫️💖✨🦄

and guess what, babe.

the countless others
from your little public group chats?
or your “fake double life” campaign?

lol.
brad!! 💖📹💋

⚡ they’ll find me.
⚡ they already are.

and when they do?

🙅‍♂️🌶️🔥💦👄🔞

hi.
welcome. 🥰✨
thanks for the referral traffic.

💥💫

—

because
i’ll still be here.
✨ still factual.
✨ still not contacting you.
✨ still not breaking the law.
✨ still not apologizing for speaking.
✨ still not deleting shit.

🧾

—

you’re the one
🚩 who showed up here,
🚩 watched,
🚩 and kept returning.
so if you’re “distressed”
by what i say about my life?

🦋 log off.
🦋 block me.
🦋 move the fuck on.

📱🌱

because the truth
loves an audience…

and the only people
who panic 👀
over witnesses—
are the ones who were
the same goddamn assholes 💋🎬🌶️
relying on the story
🙂 staying
🙂 fucking
🙂 secret.

nah. 🔥📣

—

so like,
damn.
that sucks.

anyway,
good luck.

💥💫

viral energy:⚡ babe, are y’all stressed because it’s true, or because it’s public? 📱🌐🚀🔥

✶

maybe
if you’re sweating
my tiktok getting views,
🗣️🔥🚀📈
what you're
really mad about:

✨ it's not slander
✨ it's not unhinged
✨ it's just a bad look—for you

because nothing i’ve said is new.
it’s just finally being heard.

📱🤳✨🔥

because
straight-up,
legally speaking?

lol
i’m uninteresting af.

📂⚖️

✨ i’m sharing my own experience
✨ i’m referencing dates + records
✨ i’m citing documented patterns
✨ i’m keeping names out of my mouth and followers out of your inbox

omg.
that’s not defamation.
that’s called evidence conservation.

🗂️💻

baby.
my socials
aren’t a “campaign”
and
the anxiety???
isn’t because
the narrative is false—
nah.
it’s because the truth
is deeply unflattering when
presented coherently and in daylight.

😶‍🌫️🔦

bro.
y’all are stalking me ⚡
where silence goes to die.

and

guess what?

👑🐸

if the truth induces nausea,
that is a somatic response—
not a legal theory. 🚫

🐀💋✨🤫

🧃 i am not tagging you
🧃 i am not naming private individuals for funsies
🧃 i am not mobilizing followers
🧃 i am not releasing identifying information
🧃 i am not encouraging contact, harassment, or escalation

i am,
repeatedly and explicitly,
instructing:

🗣️ “do not @ anyone. do not contact anyone. do not be strange.”

—

meanwhile:

🚫 i am the protected party
🚫 i am the one absorbing burner-account harassment
🚫 i am complying with the law
🚫 and you are monitoring my analytics with suspicious consistency

shit babe,
if you are “feeling unsafe,”
the remedy is remarkably straightforward:
💥 disengage from the content
💥 you insist you are not consuming.

👤⏻📱💀

—

i’m being truthful.

but y'all??
lol.
my estranged
+ his live-in
coke co-conspirator?

🕵️‍♀️✨

💥 daily surveillance.
💥 duplicate statements.
💥 same comments, different burners, dropped every time i block them.

🚫 not a coincidence.
🚫 not an accident.
🚫 just a highly motivated viewing schedule

from people allegedly
uninterested in what i post.

—

✨💋👸🏻
and then,
the whole-ass individual 💕
ID’ed making out with my husband
in an actual fuck-ass video,
he literally sent people??
📱💬🔥
—

oh babe!
that one 🤡 is dropping
🔒 direct allegations on private
while preemptively—
🚫 excluding anyone
🚫 capable of impartial verification

lol.

🙃👉👈

damn y’all,
i say what 💥i allege,💥
with my whole goddamn face.
in public.
with my actual name.

💡✨

damn yo.
that’s not “healing.”
that’s coward-coded defamation
with audience management.

📣 you say i’m crazy—
🔒 but post where no one unbiased can see it
🚫 and block the exact people who might say,

“wait…
that’s not what happened”

honey.

💀🧾
—

let’s be
so fucking honest:
you’re not being slandered.
you’re being
🦋 accurately represented. 🦋

✨👤🫵🏻

🕯️ i’m not harassing anyone.
🕯️ i’m not inciting anything.
🕯️ i’m not even being fucking mean.

i’m just… public.

💀✨

and
the only reason
you're bugging out
is because
the actual story
is so fucking gross,
you can’t believe
i had the balls
to say it out loud. 📣

✨(of course i did) ✨

—

you wanted silence.
you got viral energy.

🔥🧯💬✨

if you’re
uncomfortable,
there’s an move for that:
LOG the fuck OFF.

❌💻📱

—

because
i’m not contacting you.
sweetheart,
you came here.

…😶‍🌫️🫣

and look.
if the content
hurts your feelings?

✨ disengage
✨ cease monitoring
✨ stop conflating documentation with wrongdoing
✨ and accept that visibility is not violence

—

🥰🤝💀

the people’s princess of plausible deniability 👑🧾

ok.
we’ve been friends since childhood.
🚫 not “met you via DM.”
🚫 not yoga retreat “mutuals.”

…childhood.
✨💫

so you knew.

👏🏻 you knew
i was getting punched
while i was nine months pregnant.
👏🏻 you knew
he got on top of me
and tried to manually erase my airway
at like seven months.
👏🏻 you knew
i was the one paying
while he drove my car,
lived in my parents’ house.

🔥🔥🔥

—

👏🏻 you knew i had a newborn.
👏🏻 you knew and sat through restraining order hearings.
👏🏻 you knew what it costs to survive
that kind of violence —
the kind that leaves you
hypervigilant forever,
like your
whole-ass
nervous system
got drafted into the army
without your fucking consent.

🔥🔥🔥

—

and then —

you drove me to the airport
when i had to escape my own family.
❌ no safety net.
❌ no backup.
just me,
a twelve-month-old,
and the primal math of
“if i stay, something really bad happens.”

you were there for that.

—

ok.
so explain this
like i’m stupid
(i’m not):
how do you
go from witness
to missing person.

🔥🔥🔥

because that’s what you did.
❌ you didn’t “get busy.”
❌ you didn’t “need space.”
❌ you didn’t “set boundaries.”

nah.

girlie.
that’s not girl code.
that’s crisis PR for terrible fucking decisions.

🪞🕊️✨

—

so,
you really
dropped off the face of the planet
the second my life stopped being a fun storyline
you could participate in without consequences.

and then —
👏🏻 clap for her 👏🏻—
the minute
eyewitness accounts
start floating around
that you and my husband
maybe didn’t keep your bodies
in separate fucking spaces…

❌ you don’t ❌
do the normal-innocent-person thing.

😮🙌

—

nope.
instead you launch…
whatever the fuck that was.

💀😘✨

💥 you slander me.
💥 you call me psychotic
💥 you start a behind-the-scenes rebrand into “princess,”
as if this is some kind of
fucked-up
princess diana
royal miscommunication
and not a moral collapse
with knives sticking out of my back.

👑

you don’t deny the act.
you assassinate the character.💥💫
you weaponize pity
like a drunk white girl
on tiktok live.
🥺🙏
fucking classic.

—

we all know 🙃👉👈 if nothing happened,
your biggest emotion would be annoyance.

🚩 not erratic panic.
🚩 not a private PR campaign.
🚩 not manic surveillance.
🚩 not defensive.
🚩 not launching a reputation counterstrike
with all the finesse of a toddler throwing a fucking fit.

so yeah.

i’m not saying you’re guilty.
but your behavior’s doing a backflip into the yes pile.

—

so sweetie,
you didn’t disappear
because you didn’t know.
you disappeared because

you did know.

you knew what he did to me.
you knew what i survived.
and you still decided your image
mattered more than my lived-reality.

🚫 that’s not “messy.”
🚫 that’s not “drama.”
🚫 that’s not “ugh, sisterhood is complicated.”

that’s fucking betrayal.

🔥🔥🔥

—

so yeah —
you can keep your fake-ass crown. 👑
but don’t pretend it
isn’t made of
💥 denial,
💥 projection,
🗣️ and a man who hits women.

…😦

because the truth is:
i didn’t lose my mind.
i lost a friend
who was willing to trade my life
for her fucking optics.

—

and honestly?

that’s a specific kind of evil.

🥀🧠✨

—

🦋 “i’m not like other girls.”

being picked is so 2025.
let’s grow some self-esteem, ladies.

✨🧠💅

because here’s what
a full calendar year
of receipts from hell
taught me:

i thought
i was embarrassing.
pathetic, even.
because
i was the one
who got picked.

bro like—
🏆 wife.
🏆 baby.
🏆 last name.
🏆 title card.
💍 legally binding shit.
🙃 grown woman shit.

i really
risked it all—
wow,
congrats to me
for being chosen.
gold fucking star. ⭐️

lol.
lmao,
actually. 🥴

—

because what
the data truly suggests,
and i’m being generous here—
is that a man with:

🧍‍♂️ mild boyish looks
📏 a six-foot personality trait
📄 an exhaustively mid white-boy résumé

—

managed to convince
multiple women
they were the exception
to a pattern of
objectively ruinous behavior.

✨💫

and homie,
these females really said:
🦋 “no, he’s different with me.”
🪞 “i feel like we have a connection.”
✨ “he told me his wife was crazy.”

congrats.
you won…
a man who hates women.

🏆🤡

—

besties.
did the below-average dick 💋
unlock national secrets??
because
i’m still trying to understand
what exactly
he was serving
besides treachery and
“yo can i borrow your car” energy.

🚗❌👯‍♀️

—

babe.
we needed to feel
chosen
that badly??
involuntarily drafted
into the cult of
“he's not that bad
if he’s nice to me.”

because listen,
basic-bitch logic
requires a villain.
because
if the wife
is just…
a normal bitch
trying to survive…

then shit!
you’re not “chosen.”
y’all are co-conspirators.

🐀💫

so you need the wifey to be:

⚡ crazy
⚡ melodramatic
⚡ controlling
⚡ jealous
⚡ bitter

because otherwise
the truth is:

you almost got us killed.

🕊️🔥

and for what,
exactly?

❌ for a makeout session in a parking lot? 🚗💋
❌ for the glory of being a side pursuit in a man’s midlife delusion? 🎮💀
❌ for the absolute privilege of being his “peace” while he makes someone else’s life a murder plot? ⚔️🪦

—

✨🧠✨

so you
tell yourself:

“he’s traumatized.” 🥺
“he’s misunderstood.” 🥲
“he just needs love.” 🫠
“his wife is crazy.” 🤡
“i bring out the good in him.” 🌈

translation:
if i can be the exception,
i don’t have to face reality.

🔥🤫🔥

omg.
this was a
mediocre manipulator
outsourcing his cruelty.

👏 congrats, ladies. 👏

you are forever:
deeply unserious.
profoundly embarrassing.

self-respect is the upgrade. 🧠✨
pattern recognition is the flex. 📊💅
and if
a man needs
a rotating cast
of insecure females
to feel important?

congrats on being
not-the-wife

the misinformation campaign 2025…😦🫣🫢

ok so
what even is…a fact?
like genuinely asking.
not rhetorically.
spiritually.
epistemologically.

🧠✨

because
i lived through
the fake news era.
i’ve seen
misinformation 🕊️🤍
in the wild.
but this???

wow dude.

this is
misinformation 🕊️🤍
✨indoors.
✨climate-controlled.
✨wearing loafers.
asking for sparkling water.
🥿🦋

??

apparently
we’re in the period
where you just:

⭐ say how you feel
⭐ or how you wish things were
⭐ sign your name at the bottom
⭐ date it
⭐ and boom—
✨factual reality✨

who even
needs evidence 🕊️
when
you have
audacity
🔥🔥🔥
and
a signature block 💅🏼

—

🚫 facts? optional.
🚫 evidence? vibes-based.
🚫 truth? babe, as fluid as string theory.

💫

—

literally just like,
🎤
“we unite
in opposition 🤝
and while we’re here,
allow us to freestyle.”

🦋🎶

—

but lol.
⚡️no beat.
⚡️shit lyrics.
⚡️full confidence.

while someone’s
nodding off-camera
like…“yeah yeah this slaps.”

😐💥💫

and then
my personal favorite
philosophical inquiry
of our time:

✨🧿

what is even
domestic violence???

because,

“she’s not a dv victim 😮🙌
literally nothing even happened
but also—
🫣 don’t look at my texts.
🫣 or the fact pattern.
🫣 or the orders.
🫣 or why everyone’s acting
like
there’s a reason.”

🙃👉👈

!!!

😶‍🌫️ zero engagement with the actual timeline.
😶‍🌫️ zero mention of the f-word (felony).
😶‍🌫️ zero analysis of the law.
😶‍🌫️ just ✨vibes and projection✨

and then—
like a fever dream
of chutzpah—

please reprimand her. 🔥🔥🔥

…😦🫣🫢

🍬⚖️

yo,
💥 not because of evidence.
💥 not because of any finding.
but
because
our feelings are hurt.

😭😭😭😭

—

because
nothing screams
“objective truth”

🕊️🤍✨

like:

“she’s lying,
we swear,
no sources tho,
just pinky promise.
xoxo”

🧚‍♀️✨🧿📧

—

😐

did cocaine & low self-esteem almost get me family-annihilated while i was pregnant + postpartum? 💅🧠🔪✨🌈💀 chic.

ok y’all.

so i did some
✨light googling✨

💀

and apparently
the #1 documented side effect
of cocaine is:

🌈🦄✨💀

…

🔥 becoming a fucking asshole. 🔥👏🏻💫

like…
✨clinically.
✨spiritually.
✨recreationally.
✨full-fucking-spectrum.
🧠💅🔥✨

and i just sat there like:

wait a fucking second.
this shit tracks
too
fucking
hard.

🔥🔥🔥

and ummm.
🧠 the common thread?
BABY!
it’s giving powdered narcissism.💥💫

🥂❄️😵‍💫✨

—

hold up—
🚨 disclaimer 🚨
for the defense counsel
creeping in my views:
🔥 i’m not saying
i personally watched anyone
snort powder off an iphone screen.
i’m saying the vibes are consistent
with stimulant-brain behavior. 🔥
like, a working theory.
🙃👉👈
just saying
the conduct had
✨sparkly white residue✨
all over it.

🧾🕵️‍♀️✨

—

lol
but babe.

when i read
“chronic stimulant use can
🫠 blunt empathy +
🫠 crank impulsivity +
🫠 inflate ego defenses,”

🔥🕳️🥀

i literally went:
oh.
so it’s not that i’m dead inside. 💫😵‍💫

it’s that i was trying
to emotionally negotiate
with someone’s
dopamine hostage situation.

🧠🔒🦄🌈✨

yes.
cocaine turns you into…
🔥🔥🔥 a whole certified dickhead. 🖕🔥💩

and honey,
like not just
regular level garbage 🔥—
nah,
⚡️ we’re talking platinum-tier,
⚡️ ego on uppers,
⚡️ “do you even have feelings anymore?” levels of asshole.
🧂🫣🧠✨🩷💥

—

because the symptom list
is basically like this—

characteristics of being a piece of shit (vaguely) 💅💩✨

✨👤 empathy? → absolutely zero.
✨📍accountability? → who the fuck?
✨💬 lying? → faster than the fucking speed of light.
✨🤷‍♂️ guilt? → pops in for 3 seconds then goes ghostmode
✨📛 shame? → immediately outsourced to you.
✨🚫 consequences? → don’t interrupt his vibe, babe.
✨👑 personality? nah. none. just weaponized charm

🙏

like.
how did we go from
⚡️ “i love you and our family”
to
⚡️ "oops i’m a felon in texas" 🍼🚩🌪️✨
…😦😶‍🌫️🫣
💥 with no visible brain trauma?
💥 only vibes and
💥 a suspiciously dry nose?

lol

shit.
i was like,
👤💭
“surely, no one can
sustain this level
of emotional emptiness
and moral insolvency forever…”

🥂✨ but they do.
with fucking confidence.

📉💥💀

like damn,
why do i feel so numb? 😶✨💫
idk bro,
🪄✨
let’s run that shit back—
like wow.

⭐ so the options are:

🔥🗑️ cocaine/stimulants
🔥🗑️ untreated ptsd + personality disorder
🔥🔥🗑️ both, holding hands, skipping through my fucking peace.

🥰🤝💀

so if it
👏🏻 walks like a cokehead,
👏🏻 talks like a cokehead,
👏🏻 beats its wife like a cokehead, 💫
👏🏻 lies like it’s fucking breathing,
and forgets christmas
while asking for goddamn gas money…
🫢🤷‍♀️🧍‍♀️✨🎉
then idk bro.
maybe…
homie might be going
heavy on the blow.💫

💩🔥

either way,
if you’re wondering why
you felt 🌈🦄✨
🚩 gaslit,
🚩 violated,
🚩 confused,
🚩 defrauded,
🚩 and then blamed for it…

congrats babe.

🏆💖✨

you might
not be fucking crazy.
🙂🫠🥲😶💫
you might
just be dealing
with someone whose
soul took a bump
and never came the fuck back.

😑🚩💫

—

so???
💖 was it domestic violence
or
💖 just a lil bit of blow?

✨🤡🔪

idk man
but feels a lot like—
👃💍 cocaine said "for worse"
and he took that shit literally 🔥💩

—

🌈 the end.