💥 10gb of me being fucking hilarious on the internet for a decade, nice 🧘🏼♀️🤸🏼♀️
ok
ok
ok
so here’s what
i’ve gathered after
a mind-numbing amount
of homework on my own life,
✨🧘🏼♀️🤸🏼♀️
my own fucking…
handstand practice,
(??? k?)
my own paper trail,
and my own little corner
of the internet since
like 2015:
…
✨ you ain’t got shit. ✨
and i mean that
in the most technical,
legally-precise way possible:
you do not have an actual defense
against these claims.
you have a vibes packet.
🪷🦋✨
your “evidence” is:
💥 me doing yoga on the internet
💥 me writing long posts about PTSD
💥 me being funny AF on tiktok when i’m not crying in a bathroom
💥 me talking about an ex that didn’t hit me
…
this is all opinion commentary btw 📝
meanwhile,
what i have
(also just… my understanding, my opinion):
💞 police reports with dates and case numbers
💞 restraining orders issued by actual judges
💞 child-support orders he hasn’t followed
💞 underwriting emails and policy logs you produced
💞 internal notes from your own system—
showing you did an
✨ownership switch-up✨
after i signed
all three policies
💞 let him change some shit
💞 after a restraining order
💞 while my bank account was still paying for it
…
and you’re over here like:
“BUT, ✨🧘🏼♀️✨
she posted a handstand
in italy one time
and wrote a blog in 2019
so obviously she’s
a micro-influencing menace.”
🔥🔥😐😶😶🌫️🫥
that’s the defense?
me doing handstands?
me teaching yoga online?
me telling the truth…in order to survive???
me being funny as hell while my life is on fire?
…🤗✨
not:
🚫 “here’s us communicating to her that she’s not the owner.”
not:
🚫 “here is a record of what she actually signed.”
not:
🚫 “here is how our documents make more sense than hers.”
not:
🚫 “this is why we made a dude with a 34 as a credit score…the owner!”
💞…NAH.
✋😬🤚✨
lol.
nope.
just:
“she says ‘fuck’ on the internet
and people believe her
when she talks
about what happened,
and that’s very upsetting to us.”
✨🤡 🚩
in my opinion,
what this really shows is:
✨ you have no way to attack the actual facts
nice work.
so instead???
you’re trying
to put me on trial
for being a dv victim
with a sense of humor,
solid form upsidedown—✨🤸🏼♂️
and a goddamn wifi connection.
🤜🏻💥😵 (a sin!)
like sorry
i learned how to dissociate 🧘🏼♀️✨
on instagram and then
went to law school instead of dying.
sorry i have 10 years
of timestamps that show
i was in greece doing handstands,
and that there’s
a multi-year
💥 documented history of
his stimulant theft💥—
but YO
not secretly masterminding 🧠🧐✨
some conspiracy against
your billion-dollar brand.
sorry
the worst thing
you can find on me
is that i overshare
and use too many emojis.
🧚♀️✨🪦🧘🏼
this is
my opinion
and my commentary
on my own case:
…if the strongest shit
you can say about me is…
—
🗣️✨“she’s goddamn comical
and she posts a fucking LOT,”✨
🤡 🚩🎪🎡✨
…
and
the strongest shit
i can say about you is
—
🗣️🔥“you let an abuser
and his cubicle besties—
hijack life-insurance contracts
for his baby and his wife
without telling her,
then kept pulling money
out of her account
while he was under
a restraining order,”
💫
then
i’m pretty comfortable
with how that looks
lined up next to each other.
✨🕊️
no threats.
no harassment.
just me,
a manual strangulation victim,
looking at a stack
of your own documents
and saying:
👉🤥✨
✨damn…you ain’t got shit.✨
…
and i’ve got receipts.
🔥🧘🏼♀️
