damn dumbass…a texas divorce 🐍⭐ is gonna HURT🔥🔥🔥💍💸🚫
i’ve been
hardcore researching
texas family law.
for fucking funsies.
💍🤫
lol
and
guess what??
“we were seperated—”🤥
❌❌❌
shut
the
fuck
up.
👰🏼♀️💸💨
✨baby,
🚫 that’s not a defense.
that’s a
posthumous
fucking
hallucination.✨
a full-blown
psychotic break
in goddamn sentence form.
you were
separated from
your fucking spine,
not your wife and baby. 🍼
📉💸💀
sweetheart!
🚫 you didn’t “move on.”
you moved in.
with a chick who
looks like me
if i got hit in the head
with a tire iron
and then
shopped
exclusively at temu.
🤫🤭
no like,
the actual
walmart starter pack
✴️💙🛒
…of a household,
with three kids
that weren’t yours,
a woman who—
(and i quote)
🇺🇸
…
”never had a deep thought in her life.”
✨🤰🤭
and
somehow
my money
was still in your pocket.
like adultery
was
maybe covered by
the fucking GI bill???
👨🏼🚫💍💔
fucking idiot.
✨nah, bro.✨
brad.
🚫 you didn’t petition.
🚫 you didn’t separate.
…you fucking ran.
💀⚔️
💥 ran from your wife.
💥 ran from your kid.
💥 ran from child support.
ran from
💥 the final restraining order
like it was—
💥 optional fucking reading.
💫🐍
fuck babe.
no sugar.
we are still
✨very
✨fucking
✨married💫—
while you
were out here
funding
some random bitches kids’
sippy cup lifestyle 😱💸
with our fucking marital funds.
🤠🫵🤥✨
awwww
🚫 this wasn’t “separation.” 🚫
this was
spousal impersonation
with a side of public fraud.
🤥🪄💨
—
brad!!!
🔥 you never filed.
🔥 you never notified the court.
🔥 you never said shit to your wife or your child.
…but you still collected.
🃏benefits.
🃏money.
🃏time.
🃏sympathy.
💰🤫
uh oh!
—
no like, BABE
🚫 this is not personal.
this is—
✍️ abandonment,
✍️ fraud,
✍️ concealment,
✍️ and financial abuse
…under a marriage that never legally ended.
this is—
community property law 🥀
with a
texas fucking boot
on its
goddamn neck.
🇨🇱🤡💸
—
✦ tex. fam. code § 7.001 🤡
“just and right” division.
which means
the judge
doesn’t give
a single fucking shit
if she made you feel ✨seen✨
while i was over here
keeping the fucking lights on.
✨🧍♀️💰
translation
for your stupid ass:
you don’t drain the marriage
to bankroll a second household
and then ask for half.
—
👨⚖️ “he gets less. significantly less.”
—
✦ tex. fam. code § 7.009 🤡
fraud on the community✨
✍️📉😭
aka:
using marital money
like it’s your
personal baby-daddy stimulus
then acting shocked
when your child is on foodstamps.
the court calls that
reconstituting the estate.
i call it ✨fuck around and find out.✨
—
you weren’t just…✨“unfaithful.”✨🦄
naaaah,
you were
🔥 burning
🔥 marital
🔥 equity
for a
tax-deductible affair.
🤥❌
you built
a whole-ass
💩 illegitimate
💩 bigamous-affinity
on joint goddamn assets.
🔥👖🔥👖🔥🔥👖🔥👖🔥👖🔥👖
that’s fucking crazy.
💸🏃♀️💨
also the
IRS is still after you,
homie.
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
nah.
that’s—
community depletion 🤔⚖️
in a
side bitch zip code.
💍➡️🗑️✨
and the judge?
he’s not
gonna
call you a liar.
nope.
he’s gonna
call you
motherfucking liable.
📜⚖️🥂
(welcome to court, babe…
we’re gunna be here awhile)
💸
💸
💸
💸
xoxo
your wife and child.
🔥
