so babe, when did y’all 💥alter the ownership docs (allegedly)? 🧾✨🤡

wait…

what’s the
definition of fraud?

—

💥

look honey.
babe!
y’all emailed me
the application.
then you confirmed: 💥

✨“your signed document is complete.”✨

so we’re
not doing vibes.
nah.
we’re doing roles.

☝️🤓📝

ok so.

(allegedly)

there are only
a few options.
let’s walk
the clown maze
with arrows like
it’s a fucking
powerpoint for liars.

🤡📎

—

let’s run that shit back!! 🔥

(aka: why did i sign that shit?!)

✨💍🤰⚖️💩✨

option a: am i the insured?

→ no.
→ babe that’s him. that’s literally the product.
→ “application for brandon” = not me.
✅ fucking eliminated. 🔥🗑️

—

option b: am i “just the premium payor”?

→ also no.
→ premium payor = eft (bank draft) + “thanks queen”
→ premium payors don’t sign the application… they sign the money chain. 💸🚿
✅ oops…eliminated. 🔥🗑️🙃

—

option c: am i “just” the beneficiary?

→ nope.
→ beneficiaries don’t sign either. they’re a designation, not the contracting party.
✅ shit…eliminated. 🔥🗑️🧐

—

option d: am i the applicant / owner?

→ ding ding, bitch. 🔥✅✨
→ because the only person who gets the “please electronically sign” treatment
on an adult app—is the person with legal hands on the contract. ✍️⚖️
→ and your receipt literally says: “we received your electronically signed document(s).”
✅ fucking reality. 💀⚰️

so 🧠📉

if i’m the owner/applicant…

👏🙄👏

then beneficiary changes
don’t happen “randomly”
while i’m still paying
post-abandonment
like this policy is
a commune
and everyone’s
slapping
random-ass names
on my bedroom.

👏🙄👏

—

babe.

owner = authorization. 🤡✨
that’s the whole point.

—

wait.

so how did
💥 the beneficiary get changed 💥
while i was still funding this bullshit?

→ i would have to sign off. ✍️
→ i would have to authorize. ✅
→ i would have to consent. 😇

unless…

✨someone changed it without the owner’s signature✨

…

(allegedly)

…

shocked face!!! 😮
court face!!! 😐
same face,
different fucking lighting.

💀🔥🙏

—

and babe —
the obvious
office bestie question

🧐🔍✨

my confirmation
doesn’t say “you set up eft.”
it says

💥💥 you signed the goddamn application. 💥💥

…

so when
did your bestie
actually leave the office?

🧍‍♀️💨

because it’s

real goddamn
interesting ✨🐀✨
how a beneficiary change
allegedly slid through
🚫 without the owner’s sign-off… 🚫

💥💥

fucking crazy

✨💍🤰⚖️💩