psychologically defending herself at all costs. 🔥🔥🔥🔥
and that defense
has a name 🔥
and a pattern. 🔥
why she thinks
this is fucking okay
(like, the actual stunted-ass mechanics)
—
1. she cannot tolerate the truth without her identity collapsing
the truth is this:
✨ her daughter was being punched and strangled while pregnant
✨ her grandchild was endangered
✨ she did not show tf up
if she fully accepts that,
she has to see herself as:
🔥a mother who failed in the most primal duty…again: protection🔥
i mean
i guess,
that realization ✨🥺
is un-fucking-bearable.
so instead of
absorbing it,
she defends against it
to the fucking death.
✨👻🔥🔥🔥💖
how?
—
2. she reframes herself as the fragile one 🕊️
it’s vague af—
and although
she constantly
denies anything
😶✨💫
being actually wrong—
🕊️💕
she’s—
emphasizing—
✨ how hard it is for her
✨ she’s weak—
✨ she’s vaguely ill—
✨ she’s incapable—
—
babygirl!
instead of: ✨🧠✨
you needed me
and i wasn’t
goddamn there
🔥🔥🔥
the story becomes:
i was struggling too,
so i rlly couldn’t help
🙃👉👈
that narrative
fucking absolves her.
it doesn’t
have to be
medically accurate
🔥🔥🔥—
nah.
it just has to feel
morally relieving.
—
3. she mistakes intent for impact
in her mind:
booking a flight last minute solo💫 = “i’m helping”
organize a garage = “i’m repairing”
“i hear you” = “i took responsibility”
but intent
🔥 without attunement 🔥
is goddamn
meaningless
in perpetual trauma.
😶✨💫
she is
checking her
internal box (i tried lol)
instead of addressing
our lived reality
(lol, we are fucking alone and unprotected).
so she
genuinely believes
she’s doing enough —
which is,
facetiming sometimes.
🫶🥹
—
4. she avoids specifics because specifics = accountability 🔥🔥🔥
babe,
i asked concrete things:
🔥 why didn’t you come sooner
🔥 why didn’t you drive
🔥 why didn’t you plan
🔥 why didn’t you protect me
🔥 what happened to my fucking rings
she responds with:
🌈🦄✨💖💫
💖 general statements
💖 emotional explanations
💖 vague offers
💖 circular reassurance
that’s not
goddamn accidental.
specific answers 🫶🥹
would force her to say:
“i chose fucking not to.” 🔥🔥🔥
and she
cannot say that
without shame flooding
her fucking system.
—
5. she believes endurance equals permission
brutal one, bestie!
🔥🔥🔥
because we survived —
because we didn’t die,
didn’t collapse,
didn’t goddamn disappear —
she subconsciously concludes:
💖 she handled it 💖
to her nervous system,
our survival retroactively
justifies her
goddamn absence.
—
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
incredibly damaging, babe.
😶✨💫
lol,
just a really,
really
hard truth 🔥🔥
to actually comprehend—
she thinks
this is okay
because fully accepting
that it wasn’t
would destroy
how she sees herself.
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
so she chooses
self-protection
over truth.
—
aw, like—
not consciously cruel.
but devastatingly fucking selfish.
✨🥺👻💖
