shit man, def would not have signed. ✨✋😬🤚
okay but real talk.
does anyone
at this establishment
that i was ✨induced✨
into sponsoring—
ever
once
ask:
🕊️
✨👶 “how’s the baby?”
✨🤰 “how’s your pregnant wife?
✨✍️ “we hear she’s in the emergency room…a lot.”
✨🚗 “was she in the car you took?”
✨💳 “is the person paying for literally everything okay?”
it’s giving…
🔥 “oh noooo!!!”
🔥 “BRAD are you gunna survive being unemployed?”
🔥 “how are you feeling today, brad??”
🔥 “BRAD are you a sad boy today???”
full stop.
end scene. 🎬
///
shit babe!
i’m not even
my husband’s own
🚨👤 emergency contact—
when he demolishes
my own investment!
✨damn,✨
i’m not the reference point.
i’m definitely not the focus—
nah,
i guess…
just my assets??
my husband??
i mean
he did want me to
sell my condo✨
💖🥰💞
mid-strangulation arc.✨
💸🧚♀️✨ and a life policy too??
it tracks.
but
💞so weird.💞
how did you
✨fulfill your duty to✨…✋😬🤚
”not lie / not mislead / not omit material shit”—
💸🧚♀️✨
because
before i even signed
the
🔥 four
🔥 different
🔥 contracts???
…
🪩 suddenly y’all are like—
BTW:
multiple female advisors
💸🧚♀️ who collected my financial data
💸🧚♀️ who advised during that period
💸🧚♀️ who interacted with my husband constantly
💥 can’t tell me
💥 what they said to him
😵💫
because
🗣️ it might implicate…
💀 a crime??????
✨💅✨
LMFAO.
oh shit. 🐀💫
(i thought
the crime was
💥 beating me severely
and
almost 💥 killing💥
our unborn child…
that’s weird?)
maybe,
unrelated?
💀🐀💫
okie doke.
babe!
but not…a few!
they are withholding
💥 100+ communications
💥 under a fifth amendment
💥 act-of-production theory
(aka: “handing this over could incriminate me,
so no ❤️”),
explicitly citing hubbell.
noooo,
what even is this???
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
like
i’m sorry—
WHAT?
🗓️ date after
🗓️ date after date
🗣️before i even signed the policies 💫
🗣️ multiple representatives
🗣️ who continued
for years…
.
.
💣💥
to harvest
my financial investment
and my private information
+ medical data
💥 all “professional.”
💥 all “supervised.”
💥 all somehow
💥 fifth
💥 amendment
💥 adjacent.
///
absolutely incredible.
babe.
i definitely
would have wanted
to know that
✨before i signed.✨
…
anyway.
🦋✨ very client-centered.
🪩 very family-focused.
🕊️ very “we take conflicts seriously.”
—
💥 hot take:
if your
✨“regulated professional relationship”✨
has criminal (fucking) exposure 🔥🚨👤
before i sign the paperwork???
I DON’T WANNA SIGN IT, boo.
💫
