122 texts you’re not allowed to read, but totally sign these docs anyway 🦋✨⚖️

or: “122 texts too legally spicy to show me, but not too illegal to take my money” 💅🦋📉✨

//

🔥🧯💬✨

ok so.

really visualize this shit— 👁️✨

you’re painfully pregnant,
legally single‑income,
broke from funding a “career launch,”
…🙂✨🔫
and every adult in the room
is like:

🙏🕊️✨
“don’t worry babe,
we’re just helping plan
for your baby’s future.”
✨💫🥰

…

🌿💀

“PLEASE SIGN HERE.” ✨✍️🤰
(four times) 🌿💀

…

🥀🪦✨

—

meanwhile,
backstage? 🎬
now y’all say there are…

💣💥 122 private messages 💥💣

between:
👤 my husband
+
👥 the very reps
collecting my private financial + medical data—
and those messages are being
withheld under the fifth amendment. 🙏✨🧾

aka:

🚫 not smiley faces
🚫 not just off-topic
🚫 not “lol”

🌿💀 low-key:

“we can’t show these or someone might get charged with a crime.” ✨🧾

🔥🧯💬✨???

—

🧠 “the fuckkkk?” translation 🔥💬

baby,
if a company is:

✨ collecting your income + medical history
✨ advising your pregnant self to move retirement funds
✨ having nurses show up to your condo
✨ tells you to sign insurance paperwork “for your daughter’s future”
✨ plugs your name in to pay for life insurance on a dude
…
that was actively 💥
your biggest murder threat.

🧌🔪

and
at the same time—
their reps ✨👤
were privately texting
my erratic,
🤜🏻💥😵
violent husband…
✨ not 122 times total —
no, no, no, no. silly goose!
🚨 122 times they legally can’t show me.
🚨 during the active inducement window.

📅🧯✨🔥💬
ok wait, so like…
was this onboarding or
an unauthorized compliance experiment?

because
nowhere in the disclosure docs
did it say:

✨🤫

“btw, while onboarding you,
we’ll be texting your unstable partner innumberable times in private
and later invoke the fifth amendment when asked about it.”
🥂📉💥✨

the fuck??

because they’re…
too
criminally
risky?💥✨

omg.
BABE. 🔥💬
you do life insurance,
not laundering crypto for the mob.

💀📉🧃

this isn’t wall street.
it’s a suburban financial office
with inspirational quotes
in the goddamn break room.

but, 👤💭 crime-adjacent comms????

👮🏾‍♂️⛓️‍💥🚨

yo.
so.
what in the—
compliance shitshow is this?🔥💬💩

like dawg.
that’s actually wild.
🚫 would not have signed.
🚫 would not have funded shit.
✅ would have kicked him the fuck out.
but
lol OK. 🔥🔥
go off, champ.
🦹🏼‍♂️💰💨

…

so like,
let me repeat,
🗣️💥 what in the cubicle-adjacent crime is going on here? 🕵🏼‍♀️🔪

babe,

💀🍷 be goddamn serious.✨

pretty fucking sure—

that’s
not goddamn
✨“industry standard.”✨
shit,
that’s an inducement
with a whole-ass concealment aura. 🔥🔥

good job. 🧨🪩✨

…

jesus christ.
(please forgive me) 🕊️✨

—

because homie,
to review…
y’all are trying to say—
📆 omg, BTW:

🐀 oct 16, 2023 💥→ 16 texts
🐀 oct 30 💥→ 21 more
🐀 dec 7 💥→ 4
🐀 dec 18 💥→ 18
🐀 dec 31 💥→ 19
🐀 jan 11,💥the day before my girl requests my medical files → 21 messages
🐀 jan 25,💥 the day i gave birth → 23 messages 🚨🧯✨

✨🐀🐀🧯🔥💬💩💫

and yo—
not from his entire retention.
no, no, nope.
like
nah, hun—
don’t be
goddamn ridiculous. 🤡✨
this is just from…
3 random-ass months.
🔥🧯💬✨
holy shit.

i mean—
baby,
what kind of ✨“financial rep” ✨
recieves 23 secret messages
from your live-in husband
during your c‑section
🙂✨🔫
but
doesn’t send
✨you✨
a single one?

🥴🩺

okie doke.

🥴🩺💔

and then later hits you with:

“oh those?
yeah… too legally radioactive to produce.”

💅✨🧨

are y’all hearing yourselves??? 💀🔊

🧊✨

jesus christ,
what that proves—
without even reading the content 🥰

if the defense thought
these texts helped them?
we’d be getting
✨highlight exhibits.✨

but naaaahhhh—
instead
they said:

“withheld under the fifth amendment.” 🔥🧯📉

and continued collecting my data anyway
like that was normal.

ok.

🤡✨📋

and babe,
we’re not even talking
unexplained cash payments yet. 💋✨
🚗✨
or the new car
or the IRA rollover
they never onboarded properly.

yo.
i wonder fucking why?

🚫⚖️🔥🧯📋✨

this is just the part
where they won’t let anyone see
what was happening while
i was being told to “trust them.” ✨📉👀

//

💋✨ in conclusion:

if it’s too incriminating to produce
it was too corrupt to base my signature on.

💸✨💫

and yes—
every one
of those messages
was from
before i signed shit.

✨🤫

before they signed me up for 👏🏼 four 👏🏼 separate 👏🏼 policies.👏🏼✨
before they erased my beneficiary status while i was paying. 🔥🔥🔥
before lapsing my own AND my child’s policy while escaping DV. 💫✨
before taking my last $200, while he refused to pay any child support. 🥲
before they dipped.

✨✍️💖🦋🌈

sadly,
not bullshit.
not feelings.
just their own concealed communications.💫✨

—

and babe?

🧾 shit doesn’t add up.