did cocaine & low self-esteem almost get me family-annihilated while i was pregnant + postpartum? 💅🧠🔪✨🌈💀 chic.
ok y’all.
so i did some
✨light googling✨
💀
and apparently
the #1 documented side effect
of cocaine is:
🌈🦄✨💀
…
🔥 becoming a fucking asshole. 🔥👏🏻💫
like…
✨clinically.
✨spiritually.
✨recreationally.
✨full-fucking-spectrum.
🧠💅🔥✨
and i just sat there like:
wait a fucking second.
this shit tracks
too
fucking
hard.
🔥🔥🔥
and ummm.
🧠 the common thread?
BABY!
it’s giving powdered narcissism.💥💫
🥂❄️😵💫✨
—
hold up—
🚨 disclaimer 🚨
for the defense counsel
creeping in my views:
🔥 i’m not saying
i personally watched anyone
snort powder off an iphone screen.
i’m saying the vibes are consistent
with stimulant-brain behavior. 🔥
like, a working theory.
🙃👉👈
just saying
the conduct had
✨sparkly white residue✨
all over it.
🧾🕵️♀️✨
—
lol
but babe.
when i read
“chronic stimulant use can
🫠 blunt empathy +
🫠 crank impulsivity +
🫠 inflate ego defenses,”
🔥🕳️🥀
i literally went:
oh.
so it’s not that i’m dead inside. 💫😵💫
it’s that i was trying
to emotionally negotiate
with someone’s
dopamine hostage situation.
🧠🔒🦄🌈✨
yes.
cocaine turns you into…
🔥🔥🔥 a whole certified dickhead. 🖕🔥💩
and honey,
like not just
regular level garbage 🔥—
nah,
⚡️ we’re talking platinum-tier,
⚡️ ego on uppers,
⚡️ “do you even have feelings anymore?” levels of asshole.
🧂🫣🧠✨🩷💥
—
because the symptom list
is basically like this—
characteristics of being a piece of shit (vaguely) 💅💩✨
✨👤 empathy? → absolutely zero.
✨📍accountability? → who the fuck?
✨💬 lying? → faster than the fucking speed of light.
✨🤷♂️ guilt? → pops in for 3 seconds then goes ghostmode
✨📛 shame? → immediately outsourced to you.
✨🚫 consequences? → don’t interrupt his vibe, babe.
✨👑 personality? nah. none. just weaponized charm
🙏
like.
how did we go from
⚡️ “i love you and our family”
to
⚡️ "oops i’m a felon in texas" 🍼🚩🌪️✨
…😦😶🌫️🫣
💥 with no visible brain trauma?
💥 only vibes and
💥 a suspiciously dry nose?
lol
shit.
i was like,
👤💭
“surely, no one can
sustain this level
of emotional emptiness
and moral insolvency forever…”
🥂✨ but they do.
with fucking confidence.
📉💥💀
like damn,
why do i feel so numb? 😶✨💫
idk bro,
🪄✨
let’s run that shit back—
like wow.
⭐ so the options are:
🔥🗑️ cocaine/stimulants
🔥🗑️ untreated ptsd + personality disorder
🔥🔥🗑️ both, holding hands, skipping through my fucking peace.
🥰🤝💀
so if it
👏🏻 walks like a cokehead,
👏🏻 talks like a cokehead,
👏🏻 beats its wife like a cokehead, 💫
👏🏻 lies like it’s fucking breathing,
and forgets christmas
while asking for goddamn gas money…
🫢🤷♀️🧍♀️✨🎉
then idk bro.
maybe…
homie might be going
heavy on the blow.💫
💩🔥
either way,
if you’re wondering why
you felt 🌈🦄✨
🚩 gaslit,
🚩 violated,
🚩 confused,
🚩 defrauded,
🚩 and then blamed for it…
congrats babe.
🏆💖✨
you might
not be fucking crazy.
🙂🫠🥲😶💫
you might
just be dealing
with someone whose
soul took a bump
and never came the fuck back.
😑🚩💫
—
so???
💖 was it domestic violence
or
💖 just a lil bit of blow?
✨🤡🔪
idk man
but feels a lot like—
👃💍 cocaine said "for worse"
and he took that shit literally 🔥💩
—
🌈 the end.
