so…that’s exactly what ✨material✨ means, shorty.
never
in my wildest,
dumbest,
most sleep-deprived
postpartum dreams
would i have handed over:
✨ my 10-year medical history
✨ a complete list of my prescriptions
✨ my pregnancy + birth records
✨ my newborn’s medical info
✨ my bank info
to “some woman” who was:
💞 hanging out with my husband alone behind my back
💞 sending him money while he was “allegedly”
abusing BLOW✨
ON
A
SCHEDULE.
💞 his cubicle “bestie” while he was totaling my car
💞 inviting him over to her apartment—
while he was actively cheating 🫶🥹
with 💥 multiple 💥 people.💥
💞 and assaulting me while i was pregnant.
holy shit.
✨NAH.✨
undoubtedly (fucking) not.
like.
be absolutely for real.
—
if she had just said:
“hey! ✨
i’m not really your advisor,
lol!
i’m actually
his buddy who’s low-key violating 🚩
every professional boundary ✋😕
as he openly
betrays ✨
and
defrauds ✨
you on the daily—🚩
oh! and i’m funding 🚩
his drug-induced chaos-spiral, 🚩🚩🚩
via (fucking) venmo! 🚩🚩🚩🚩
and btw!!
the policy on your baby? 🚩
i’m putting it in his name, 🚩
you won’t own shit.”
🔥🔥🔥🔥
…🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
girl??? 😮
—
ok. so, i would’ve said:
🗣️💥
“cool, then
you’re not getting my
medical records, ❌
my kid’s birth stats, ❌
or a single dollar of my money. ❌
LOL.”
🙃✨🤡✨🚩
homie.
the only reason
she ever got access
to all that
was because she
held herself out as a professional
onboarding me for policies
i would own and control,
as the mom, 🤰✨
as the payor,
as the only adult
in the goddamn room.
expropriate
the ✨job title✨ away
and what are we left with?
babe!
🕊️
just some woman
chilling privately 🚩
with my 💥 CHEATING 💥 husband,
while he’s broke and violent, 🚩
asking me for
intimate data ✨🚩
on me and my baby ✨🚩
that ends up funding
his policy in his name.
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
baby!!!
that’s not “financial planning.”
that’s
“absolutely not, get (the fuck) out of my house.”
…
✨🙏😌🕊️🏠🔥
✶
under colorado’s unfair-practices statute,
it’s literally defined as an
unfair or deceptive act
to make a “statement, sales presentation, or omission”
that misrepresents the benefits,
advantages, conditions, or terms of any policy.
not telling me who owns and controls
the policy on my child + what rights
i actually have = an omission about
the “conditions” and “terms” of the policy.
✨
