WAIT… you buried me in ✨yoga✨ because the paperwork is COOKED??? 🥘🍳🔥💀
BRO.
i finally read
”the documents”
…
🥘🍳🔥🥲
…
and now?
omg.
i get the hysteria….
LIKE…
🗣️🔥 the paperwork was hot garbage
so they tried to drown me in yoga posts.
damn.
i’m disgusted.
and also a little
impressed by the audacity.
✨💀✨
—
what you
were holding
in your hand wasn’t
a policy packet.✨💫
NOPE.
that shit was a
liability time bomb 💥💥
wrapped in postnatal chaos
and a birth certificate.
and y’all said:
✨“nah it’s fine,
so what we made this woman
sign while she was on Vicodin??”✨
🥲
then
months later,
when the timeline
and the math
and the crime wave
start syncing up?
you’re like:
✨“quick! print out her instagram from 2017.
that’ll stop the fraud from being… fraud.”✨
—
WHAT???
😭💀💯
no
because
this part is wild:
you recruited him 💋
in the exact timeline—
that
this dude
couldn’t even
get back
into 💥the armed forces💥
and your response
was like:
“well, the army’s loss is our internal liability crisis!”
💥😂💀 yo.
and THEN 💥💥💥
you put him
out to the world✨💫
as a…safe financial representative????
…
who are you,
the death star of compliance???
🤣😭🪦✨
YO.
y’all sent it
because
y’all saw
that whole paperwork arc
and immediately said:
“oh shit” 😭💀
because
homie,
this wasn’t ✨recruiting✨
this was
vibes-based onboarding. 🔥🔥
like the army said
🗣️⚠️ “absolutely fucking not.”
and y’all were like
“aw, come here, king, let’s make you a fiduciary.”✨💫
nooooo. 🥲
like—
WHAT WERE THE REQUIREMENTS??
…BREATHING???
my brothers in christ…
💀😂🫂✨🙏😌🕊️
really,
what was this?????
my guy
was a walking
red flag 🚩🚩🚩🚩
for the
posterboy of who
should
🚫 never 🚫
be in control
of anyone’s fucking assets…
✨shit—
you had more info
than i did
on my own bloodline—
🏠🔥
lmfao.
—
so…
i’m gonna say it.
🗣️⚠️ this is the most negligent shit i’ve ever seen.
like
legally,
ethically,
organizationally, 😭
✨cosmically negligent.
like
“spiritually disqualifying from fiduciary work
for the next three lifetimes” negligent. ✨🕊️
✨🏆✨
—
and suddenly?
the full stalker campaign—
👀👤🔪✨
posting about
yoga and trauma
and healing and
trying to keep a toddler alive
during a felony case…
makes…perfect…sense.
🙏😌🕊️✨🤷♂️✨
…
like…
💥✨WHAT WERE
YOU SUPERVISING???✨💥
…??????
the downfall???
omg.
MY DUTIFUL SQUAD—✨✋😬🤚
🚩 you had every red flag.
🚩 you had every warning sign.
🚩 you had every 💥 goddamn💥 indicator💥
nah but
you clearly knew
🧨💀🔥
this man
should not 🔥
have been near 🔥
a business license 🔥
let alone—
a bottle of fucking Advil.🔥
🫂✨😭 ???
—
bro.
respectfully.
y’all are
cooked,
seasoned,
plated,
and served.
😄✨🍳🔥
but hey,
thank you
for making me
really search
hard for that shit though.
—
💋✨
