🐂💩🤥 the RICO starter-pack; lolz jk jk jk…but emotionally? spiritually? groupchat-ally??✨✨✨RICO ADJACENT✨✨✨
RICO =
🤑 Racketeer
🤑 Influenced
🤑 and Corrupt Organizations Act.
—
girlies!
it’s a federal law
designed to go after
organized crime.
babe!
think:
money laundering,
wire fraud,
conspiracy,
and your ex’s friend group.
—
no, no, NO.
shut up!
like!—
aka:
when it stops being “a lil messy”
and starts being federal.
☠️💼⚖️
…
jkjkjk
because you would need…
🔥 2+ predicate crimes
(like wire fraud, bank fraud, identity theft, obstruction, etc.)
🔥 across 10+ years
🔥 OR within a pattern
🔥 by an enterprise
(even informal — could be a squad, a business, a MLM)
BUT
BUT
BUT
🔑
the key word here
…is
✅ "coordinated."
lolz.
…so…
(idk man
be serious who tf knows
what y’all been doing
looking at this track record)
🤥💩
………buttttt
look
….what i’m saying
✅ emotionally?
✅ spiritually?
✅ groupchat-ally??
…
✨✨✨RICO ADJACENT VIBES✨✨✨
—
so like,
yo.
you ever think
maybe…
i’m not crazy—
🔥🤫🔥
maybe
i’m just
the only one
in the room who
isn’t in goddamn denial
or…
on somebody’s lil payroll.
💅🤡
maybe
(hear me out)
i just don’t speak
delusional defense attorney.
☠️⚖️
maybe
i’m the only one here
not sponsored by gaslighting inc.™
or emotionally invested in protecting a man
whose brain is 60% virtual-gang-bang energy
and unpaid fucking taxes.
💥📉
—
like…
u…fucking…think???
🥴
—
like wow.
sorry i didn’t respond
to felony-fucking-level betrayal
with a soft voice
and a goddamn healing crystal.
🧿✨
my bad
for not clapping politely
while y’all played
musical goddamn chairs
with fucking accountability.
🎶🪑💀
—
no for real.
i’m soooo sorry
my reaction was the issue
and not the part where
half of y’all needed the fifth
to cover when
the group chat
turned into
a goddamn RICO case.
☠️📱🧾
—
she’s spiraling?
bro
i’m literally
formatting fucking citations
while your client
forgets he has a child.
💩🗑️
—
oh yeah???
…
she’s crazy?
bro
i’m the
only one here
not doing crisis PR
for a man
with an active bond
and a dick-pic mirror addiction.
📸🚓🤳
she’s CRAZY???
ok…
but
your man is on
💥 his eighth mistress,
third fucking alias,
and his car smells like
goddamn regret
and fuck-ass creatine.
🚗💨🍆
cool.
—
babez!
maybe…
i’m not the problem.
i’m the goddamn reason
y’all
finally started
spelling fucking
“defamation” correctly.
✍️📎
—
no babe.
i’m not spiraling.
but,
yo 4r
you ever seen someone
get absolutely bodied
by a fucking google doc
and an instagram voice memo?
—
anyway.
not accusing anyone.
just looking through—
screenshots
venmo logs
text records
✨ vibes
BABY.
you’re out here
laundering alibis
while he’s over there
acting like
the fifth amendment
is a love language.
💀📱💬
—
buckle up, babe. 🦋
✨ lfg ✨
