🕊️🪢 this karmic cycle is a dickhead

i swear
i passed you.
random ass black truck.

so like—
❌ wrong truck.
❌ wrong setup.
❌ wrong everything.

random-ass
trailer hitched.
💥 not lifted.
💥 not fucking flashy.
💥 not part of your usual
“i’m overcompensating” work fleet.

😤💫

but yet—
i fucking felt you.

i hate this,
btw.

🤫 💫

—

like wtfuck.

through the glass.
just a fucking blur.
but like,
i swear saw you.

💥💫

and i swear
you saw me too.
like,
we stared.
that weird,
ghost,
slow-motion pass
like time bent
or some shit.
just to fuck with me.

cool. cool cool cool.

and like—

neither of us
were even in the vehicles
we were supposed to be in.
which somehow
made it fucking worse.

✨🪞💀

like the universe
stripped the identifiers
just to ask
if i still knew
how to find you
and of fucking course
i did.

fuck.

—

bro.
i wasn’t looking.
i guess.
🚫 not today.
🚫 not on that road.
🚫 not for that truck.

but
i always am.
accidentally.
fucking pathetically.

—

it’s like
my nervous system
hasn’t been updated.
that you
checked the fuck out.
once again.

💫🛻🕯️🕊️

and god
i really fucking hate that.

i hate
that i still check
every black truck.
every loud engine.
every maybe.

i hate
that i feel the string
even when the person
on the other end
hasn’t existed in years.

—

fuck.
fuck.
fuck.

like,
i don’t even
admire you anymore.
it’s sad.
i’m not like,
in love with you.
i guess.

but some parts of me
still think
you’ll show up.
on a fucking mountain,
on a nowhere road,
like before.
in a life
that isn’t even yours anymore.
or at least
send a goddamn
smoke signal
that you
even
fucking
remember me.

but nah.
just broken promises.
for-fucking-ever.
🙂✨🔫

—

and you
know what
the dumbest shit is—
if it was you,
i know you'd look here.

🕯️ not to say anything.
🕯️ not to start anything.
just to see
if i noticed too.

because be fr
you have
always watched.

you
never let go.
even when i tried.

even when i made
a whole fuck-ass new family.
💫🎓🪖

(and yeah,
i was nevertheless
loyal as fuck
to that actual whole
grown-ass demon;
baby!)

—

so yeah.
bro—i’m here.
logging it.
or whatever.
even though
i wish i could delete
the fucking instinct
to look for
a goddamn ghost.

fate’s a dickhead.

🕊️🪢