down bad + and still not evil 🥀

forever ago…

💔

there was
this one time
i was stupid
as FUCK
in love.

like down-bad.

🔥🙏

yo.
we orbited
each other
like fucking idiots
for a goddamm decade—
two dumbasses
who knew
exactly
what that shit was
and still kept fumbling it.
every time
we touched
it felt like
fucking inevitability.
but nah.
we fucked it up.
repeatedly.
timing,
ego,
fear —
what-fucking-ever.

and when you
had a kid with someone else?

🧸🍼

yeah.
that shit broke me.

not because i wanted her life.
because i wanted that life with you.

forever.

😐

but yo.
here’s the part
that rlly matters.

even at my most jealous.
even when
i wanted to explode.
i said:

✨go.✨

if that’s what
will make you happy???
go build
whatever the fuck
that is.
baby,
go do it.✨💫
i want you to feel loved.
i want you to be a dad.
i want you to have that family.

🤍

i wanted your baby ok.

🤍

even if it’s
not with me.

💔💔💔

yeah—
ouch…but facts.

i know
i didn’t
hold on
tight enough
before we lost each other.
for-fucking-ever.
that one’s on me.
i won’t rewrite it
to feel better.

💞✨

but jealousy?

no.

i ate that loss
like a grown-ass woman.

so don’t reduce me
to omg she’s just “jealous.”

jealous of…what?

🫢💥️

jealousy requires envy.
envy requires admiration.

i’m not admiring shit.

no.

i would rather look
stupid in love 💔
than evil in revenge.

envy is aspirational.
shame is corrosive.

🤍

bro.
even in
my worst moments,
even when
i was so pissed tfo—

❌ i did not lie.
❌ i did not goddamn sabotage.
❌ i did not torch
the fucking house
just to watch it burn.

because
some of us
have an actual conscience.

🤍

some of us can be hurt
without becoming vindictive.
some of us can swallow pride
without
fabricating
a fucking villain arc.

✨💫

i couldn’t live
with myself
if i had lied
to fuck someone over.
never.
i couldn’t
look at my daughter
and know
i destroyed
something out of spite.

nah.

🥀

jealous is petty.
jealous is mid.
jealous is vengeful.

—

so…what???

in my trauma diary?

yeah.
i feel fucking everything.

i was in shock.💫
i was fighting ptsd.💫
i was fighting for our future.💫

but i was
never dishonest.

and that’s
the difference
between
being hurt
and being hateful.

🥀

but ik.

i know what
it feels like to say—

i loved you.
i lost you.
and i will live
with that shit forever.

🕊️