dramatic? bro, you rage harder than my toddler.

bro.
men are the drama.
like, professionally.
full-time.
salary + tips + pto.
union-protected.
they got a linkedin for it.
“emotional chaos coordinator, 2013–present.”

literally always crying.
about some bullshit.

these dudes are really out here
treating “blocking” like a sacred ritual.
like—
“i didn’t ghost you, i was protecting you…
from me.”

take the fucking award bro. 🔥

the man. the myth. the menstrual energy.
my trauma is cured.
we thank you for your service.
you’re so fucking strong.

girl—truly.

✨ jesus. fucking. wept. ✨

meanwhile—men will literally
nuke a nation before naming a feeling.
you could just say
“i’m insecure because my dad was mean to me.”
instead you’re drone-striking afghanistan
because your ex laughed during sex.
get help.

why are you so emotional?
for real?

they be in dms like:

“hey”
“you there?”
“guess not.”
364 days later:
“u still mad?”

yes, babe. i’m still mad you exist.

honestly—he’s probably spiraling
because i said “maybe don’t be a pussy.”
and now he’s pacing the room
like a bbl influencer who lost her ring light.

they’ll leave you on read,
bomb a country,
and slide back in like:

“i just think it’s crazy how…”

NO, SIR.
what’s crazy is you thinking
i didn’t know you were watching my story
from a burner while crying in a dark room.

like—you wanted discretion.
but gave me depression.
unfair trade.

you’re not being attacked.
you’re being accurately described.

and let’s be real—
they don’t want a woman.
they want a mute button in lingerie.

say “bro—be serious” one time
and they’re in their notes app like

“you’re toxic and two-faced, just like my mom.”

fun fact?
it was actually chill
until you made it weird.

and now?
you are the weird.
scrolling my shit
peeping me trying to not fail out of law school
and keep a whole ass baby alive—
while you?
throw tantrums.
get big feelings.

y’all choose chaos.
i just wanted to go shooting—
and maybe get decent-ish head.
like a fucking patriot.

you’re out here handing out drama
like inta-likes
then crying when someone clicks “unfollow.”

jesus fucking christ.
you’re supposed to:

provide.
protect.
but nah—
petty bullshit.

i’m the problem?
nah, king.
i’m the mirror.

💅🏽 stay delulu.
men always do.