(burn after reading)

♥ record everything.
if they even raise their voice, document it.

♥ tell someone.
send one message, one email, one file — to a trusted contact outside the home.

♥ hide copies.
keep physical evidence in a place you don’t live: a locker, a friend’s house, a safe deposit box.

♥ trust your terror.
if your body says this isn’t safe, it isn’t.

♥ trust the escalation.
it’s never a one-time thing. the line always moves.

♥ get receipts.
screenshots. voicemails. text threads. emotional abuse leaves a paper trail too.

♥ prepare exit plans early.
even if you think you’re staying. even if you’re not “ready.”
survival is not betrayal.

♥ use the system before it uses you.
restraining orders. incident reports. screenshots. texts to yourself.
police might not care today. the record will matter tomorrow.

♥ stay unpredictable.
your safety is worth more than their feelings.

♥ save yourself first.
you can mourn them later —
but you can’t mourn if you don’t make it out.

🥀 addendums.

♥ they will flip the script.

abusers love the courtroom. they rehearse victimhood. expect it. don’t be surprised. be documented.

♥ survivors don’t need to be perfect.

you can be messy, angry, inconsistent, traumatized. you’re still credible. you’re still worth believing.

♥ trauma isn’t linear.

you might leave and go back. leave again. freeze. apologize. shut down. that’s not weakness—it’s survival mid-story.

♥ safety > evidence.

if recording them makes them violent, don’t. your life is worth more than a voice memo. you are not the court’s exhibit.

♥ burn the shame.

what happened to you wasn’t your fault. what you do next is your power.
and if they call you crazy — congratulations. that means they no longer control the narrative.

♥ get your people.

lawyer, therapist, barista, friend-of-a-friend who’s been through it.
you only need one person who believes you. the rest is strategy.