this is your exit strategy.
not a self-help vibe. not a girlboss checklist.
it’s the receipts you keep when shit feels off but no one’s listening yet.

it’s the notes you start in your phone
when they yell too close to your kid.
the email you send to a friend just in case.
the stuff you think might be “too much” — until it isn’t.

this isn’t for the day you leave.
it’s for all the days you don’t.
when you’re still pretending.
still hoping.
still scared to name it out loud.

you don’t have to be perfect.
you just have to be documented.

save what you can.
send what you must.
burn the rest when you’re safe.

this is the before.
the proof.
the paper trail.
the plan.

just in case. or exactly when.

(burn after reading)

♥ record everything.
if they even raise their voice, document it.

♥ tell someone.
send one message, one email, one file — to a trusted contact outside the home.

♥ hide copies.
keep physical evidence in a place you don’t live: a locker, a friend’s house, a safe deposit box.

♥ trust your terror.
if your body says this isn’t safe, it isn’t.

♥ trust the escalation.
it’s never a one-time thing. the line always moves.

♥ get receipts.
screenshots. voicemails. text threads. emotional abuse leaves a paper trail too.

♥ prepare exit plans early.
even if you think you’re staying. even if you’re not “ready.”
survival is not betrayal.

♥ use the system before it uses you.
restraining orders. incident reports. screenshots. texts to yourself.
police might not care today. the record will matter tomorrow.

♥ stay unpredictable.
your safety is worth more than their feelings.

♥ save yourself first.
you can mourn them later —
but you can’t mourn if you don’t make it out.

🥀 addendums.

♥ they will flip the script.

abusers love the courtroom. they rehearse victimhood. expect it. don’t be surprised. be documented.

♥ survivors don’t need to be perfect.

you can be messy, angry, inconsistent, traumatized. you’re still credible. you’re still worth believing.

♥ trauma isn’t linear.

you might leave and go back. leave again. freeze. apologize. shut down. that’s not weakness—it’s survival mid-story.

♥ safety > evidence.

if recording them makes them violent, don’t. your life is worth more than a voice memo. you are not the court’s exhibit.

♥ burn the shame.

what happened to you wasn’t your fault. what you do next is your power.
and if they call you crazy — congratulations. that means they no longer control the narrative.

♥ get your people.

lawyer, therapist, barista, friend-of-a-friend who’s been through it.
you only need one person who believes you. the rest is strategy.