the lethality factor
baby, the fallout wasn’t hypothetical—it was almost fatal.
✶
homicide is now the leading cause of death for pregnant women in the u.s.—they’re more likely to be murdered (usually by an intimate partner) than to die from any obstetric complication.
lethality audit:
the statistical anomaly edition
(aka: how the odds teamed up to murder me and still failed)
disclaimer:
not a lawyer. just a reluctant actuary of my own attempted homicide. dead inside vibe engaged. morbid jokes because otherwise i’d cry.
exhibit a: full-deck trauma (childhood dv & cptsd)
clinical reality:
survivors of childhood dv/abuse are 2–3× more likely to be abused as adults (cdc, 2019; widom, 1989).
adverse childhood experiences (ACE) score: every extra point = +20% lifetime risk of dv, addiction, mental illness, early death (felitti et al., 1998).
cptsd (complex trauma): means your “danger radar” is always on, but it’s also set to ignore anything that looks like “home.”
me:
child dv? check.
lifelong cptsd? check.
“abuser radar” on the fritz? check.
zero safety net, hypervigilant, but nowhere to run.
punchline:
before i even picked a partner, i was already in the danger zone.
the math says: “shouldn’t have made it to adulthood.”
exhibit b: ghost mode (isolation)
stat:
88% of intimate partner homicides = no close social contact (cdc, 2019).
total local support: zero. family: 1,700 miles out. coworkers: would just assume i was “busy.”
punchline:
survival odds in this scenario: 12%.
i’m the ghost who refuses to leave the haunted house.
exhibit c: choked out (strangulation)
stat:
strangulation = 700% higher homicide risk (glass et al., 2008).
1 in 3 strangled victims are dead within 5 years if the cycle isn’t stopped.
my chapter:
november: strangled.
survived.
punchline:
i’m the 1 in 3 who thought “not today, satan.”
exhibit d: the $20k vanishing trick (financial abuse)
stat:
99% of dv = financial control (nnedv).
median loss: $3k–$12k.
i lost ~$20k in six months.
punchline:
i paid for my own murder plot… fate must’ve Venmo’d me a refund.
exhibit e: the kill window (pregnancy)
clinical horror:
homicide: #1 cause of death for pregnant/postpartum women in the u.s. (bmj, 2021).
64% killed by partner.
me:
nine months pregnant, beaten into the er, still posting on instagram like a horror movie extra.
punchline:
baby was the only one with better survival odds than me.
exhibit f: no reinforcements (bystander effect)
stat:
80% of dv homicides = no third-party intervention (cdc, 2019).
i could have gone missing for days; no one to call 911.
punchline:
i was my own first responder, last witness, and the only one keeping score.
exhibit g: the “emotional hit-woman” (enmeshment/triangulation)
stat:
up to 40% of partner homicides involve a third-party enabler/facilitator (nij, 2018; stark, 2007).
me:
“professional female peer” sends husband money, meetups in private away from victim, pushes policies while in active labor or hospital. no welcome call. no “so happy you survived childbirth” cashapp—only via violent hubby. never once discloses to me, never calls, never texts. further isolates me.
her venmo had more intimacy with my husband than i did.
punchline:
never let a third party “manage” your marriage unless you want an attempted murder plot twist.
exhibit h: the addict variable (adderall heist edition)
clinical risk:
current substance abuse = 6× homicide risk (nij, 2019).
stimulant abuse = 30–50% higher violence than alcohol alone (nih, 2021).
me:
30 pills gone in 48 hours, months in a row; cash gone, violence up.
punchline:
not only was i funding the murder plot, i was running the pharmacy.
exhibit i: final boss mode (combat vet, tbi, ptsd)
stat:
combat vets with untreated ptsd = 2–3× more likely to perpetrate severe dv (elbogen et al., 2010; va studies).
tbi = 2–4× higher risk of dv (cdc, 2018; nih, 2020).
layer in addiction: +30–50% risk.
my house:
combat vet, tbi, ptsd, no treatment, blackout violence, stimulant addiction.
no witnesses. no friends. nobody checking in.
punchline:
it’s not a home, it’s an unmonitored demolition derby.
exhibit j: post-separation digital surveillance (aka: ghosted but not gone)
stat:
post-separation stalking—including digital surveillance—is present in 85% of attempted femicides (loggins et al., 2021; campbell et al., 2003).
cyberstalking increases risk of serious harm or homicide 8-fold compared to no stalking (nij, 2018).
digital harassment is most lethal when the abuser or their enablers maintain access to your social media, location, or private comms.
me:
lol, do i even need to give details?
punchline:
you know you’re a high-value target when your trauma has a higher engagement rate than her selfies.
cumulative audit
(statistical death wish):
stacked factors:
childhood dv/cptsd
isolation
strangulation
pregnancy
financial devastation
bystander silence
emotional enmeshment
stimulant addiction
combat vet / ptsd / tbi
post-separation cyberstalking
math:
odds of surviving this many risk factors:
so low, the cdc would call your mom for a welfare check after the study is published.
algorithm says “deceased.”
dv fatality review: “should have been a Netflix docuseries, not a survivor’s blog.”
survival odds: off the chart, off the spreadsheet, straight into “glitch in the matrix.”
morbid punchline:
the only thing that didn’t kill me was the math—because the math short-fucking-circuited.
cumulative kill-math (if you like numbers):
childhood dv/cptsd (+200%+ risk)
isolation (88%)
strangulation (+700% risk)
pregnancy (kill window)
financial drain (+40%)
third-party enmeshment (+40%)
stimulant addiction (+30–50%)
combat vet/ptsd/tbi (+200–400%)
post-separation digital stalking (+700% femicide risk)
no bystanders (80%)
not additive—
this is compounding,
multiplying,
algorithm-of-doom stuff.
my chance of ending up a cold case?
>99% (aka: powerball odds, but dead.)
✶
why we survived:
i documented every red flag.
i shouted into the void (this audit).
i crawled out with receipts in hand.
if you see yourself in these stats, print this out, hide it in your pocket, and plan your exit.
if your odds are this bad, your escape plan is non-negotiable.
—
sammie lowe,
the only statistical outlier in this ghost story.
the lethality factor
part 1 ✶ statement of surveillance, conflict, and straight-up betrayal
part one → the pre-murder plot era (aka when it all started to reek)
sam lee lowe · policyholder · payor · protected party under tro
july–august 2023 → december–january 2023–2024
jealousy or suspected infidelity is the stated motive in up to 45 % of intimate-partner femicides in national data sets (e.g., Turkey)
no one’s saying they f*cked.
there’s no discovery.
no screenshots that say, “we hooked up.”
no proof of secret meetups (yet).
but after reviewing the mountain of red flags?
it’s honestly humiliating how long it took me to suspect anything.
back then, i really thought northwestern mutual—
a major financial institution with fiduciary duties—
would never let this level of undisclosed enmeshment slide.
lol.
lesson learned. 🖤
🚨 co-worker red flags
a.k.a. the office culture that almost killed me
→ from july/august 2023 to january 2024,
brandon (my husband & about to be baby-daddy) and jessica t (my future financial representative)
were in the same onboarding class at northwestern mutual denver.
→ they immediately became unusually close.
constant contact
she sending him money for clients.
texting him constantly.
giving him job and contact leads
emotional support via private convos and money gifts.
private facetimes with the door closed—
even after he left.
→ meanwhile,
i was pregnant,
broke,
cleaning houses—
and the sole financial support of our household.
i was literally in the office with them—
attending meetings, bringing my mom to the office, visibly ill, being promised bonuses, passive income, family-f*cking-first incentives.
induced into investing in a career we were told was “ours.”
🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩
yet somehow…
the woman texting my husband daily,
sending him unexplained venmo payments,
and later assigned to manage my family’s financial future—
never once contacted me directly.
not before i became her client.
not after.
ever.
and no one disclosed the conflict.
she definitely never said sh*t.
never even acknowledged once sending money regularly to my husband or calling him constantly when i wasn’t around.
🚩 they never talked in front of me.
🚩 but they always talked.
you see the problem?
let’s review the 🚩s:
→ constant contact, zero transparency
because they’re “1 and 2” the firm nicknames them “sheriff and deputy” and justifies every single awkward shift towards overt professional boundaries being crossed. their relationship openly moves past coworker to “i mean the signs are there—but nah, he couldn’t be, they’re supervised—but why is he strangling me while i pay for everything?!” his closest office “motivator” was in daily contact with him (texts, zooms, contact leads—all behind closed doors), but never texted me, called me, or disclosed anything about the absolute “weirdness” of their superclose professional relationship. when we moved across the country? constant private communications, undisclosed money transfers, job offers, she’s proposing family meetings with daddy in nyc—even after he left the firm and she was my representative. he brings her up throughout our legal marriage, constantly. i never openly see their communications. but you know what’s scary?—i don’t even have records of any formal onboarding meeting when she signed me on for three separate policies, while literally GIVING BIRTH—there’s nothing besides a couple DMs—not before, during, or after onboarding me as a client. she followed me on instagram, viewed my stories regularly, and knew my due date. still, not one formal contact. (in my records)
→ financial flows that made zero sense
venmo payments went directly from her to him. often. for what, no one can say. she wasn’t paying me. she wasn’t advising me. i wasn’t in the cubicles with her 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. he said she “wanted to help” and sent him money after he totaled my car. she was actively resourcing him throughout their relationship. while i paid for everything. he implied it was for quotas and clients, anything really. no idea. i was vigorously trying to stay alive by this point.
→ professional boundaries obliterated
they had just met. he quit within six months. yet somehow she’s texting all day, even after we relocated states away and she becomes my actual financial rep. meanwhile i’m pregnant, broke, alone, with his untrained dog vomiting in my condo—and he’s allegedly working in-office 8+ hours a day. except... was he? one screenshot shows others attending those same meetings via zoom. he made almost zero income his entire time at NM denver. i spent more to onboard him than was returned in commissions.
→ i was announced to the office—literally on a slide
they knew who i was. practically the whole office did. they knew my name. knew i was the one footing the bill. knew we needed this to work because i drained everything and was about to give birth—said hi to me at christmas parties, openly acknowledged my husband and his co-workers close relationship. and yet, no one disclosed the emotional enmeshment or inappropriate closeness unfolding.
→ they knew he didn’t need to be in-office daily
others zoomed in. his car was unreliable—literally broke down on the way to the office one day: he charged my credit card for the Uber and made me come pick up the car on the side of the highway after work. we had no gas money—almost no savings left. yet he insisted on being gone 5 days a week, for 8 hours a day—full rush hour commute—zero income. meanwhile, i was vomiting 30x/day, going to the ER for heart rate spikes, caring for his dog, and walking up icy steps alone for bathroom breaks 4 times a day, third trimester. why? what was he really doing?
→ context matters
my husband cheated in every relationship he’d ever had—but there were no prior reports of physical violence. not one. until he met her.
and suddenly, during my second and third trimester—i’m being strangled, shoved, suffocated.
🚩 violence escalated.
🚩 financial secrecy increased.
🚩 their communications grow visibly.
🚩 and no one at NM said a word.
if they had disclosed this from day one—that he had no reason, since he was making zero income and supposedly, could have even zoomed in for morning “huddles”— to constantly leave his increasingly pregnant wife while inducing her into co-sign on a $40k vehicle to get him to the firm— that a financial rep was in office with my husband daily—forming an awkwardly close bond, texting him, sending him money, and maintaining private communication, in an inappropriate context—while never acknowledging me?
i wouldn’t have funded a dime of this “career.”
you allowed an inappropriate relationship
spiral into a complete fiduciary sh*tshow—
and potentially
my repeated near-death experiences.
and instead of admitting it?
disclosing absolutely anything?
protecting us?
they protected the conflict.
they mocked me and stole my child’s policy.
and it nearly got me killed.
now, let’s be crystal clear again:
→ i’m not saying—legally—that i have confirmed evidence of a physical or sexual relationship between my husband and my financial representative.
→ i’m not saying i’ve uncovered secret late-night meetings.
→ i’m not saying i know what happened behind closed doors or “lunch breaks” in or around that office on “work hours.”
(but let’s be honest—strange how location services suddenly shut off during suspicious time windows—including while “at work.” you know, the same windows that also marked violent outbursts at home… and the very same timeframe their constant private communications escalated into multiple unexplained cash transfers. draw your own conclusions.)
but even without proof of physical contact, here’s what is absolutely true—backed by her own firm:
🚩 the relationship was officially “awkward” enough that northwestern mutual itself admits she was recused (or removed) from my account as of march 2025.
🚩 the only disclosure? a casual, mocking zoom remark months later, dismissing the breach as “awkward.”
🚨🚨🚨
but let’s ask the obvious legal question:
when did this “awkward relationship” begin?
🚩 was it when they were in daily proximity—
in-office, side-by-side, doing almost no profitable business in a workspace that seemingly went dead after 10 a.m., while i was pregnant and being formally induced into funding his career and policies i was told were for our family’s future?
because i was literally brought in.
i was physically inside the office.
onboarded.
shown the dream.
sold policies while visibly pregnant,
with staff who knew my name and due date.
so—was it then?
🚩 or was it after we moved across the country?
and i was your formal client— and he was my legal husband, living with me, raising our newborn?
🚩 or was when i was a brand-new single mom,
estranged, legally separated by a final restraining order, and she was still quietly monitoring my private instagram stories?
was that the moment the relationship became “awkward”?
or was that already years into a financial and emotional conflict of interest that no one disclosed?
because what you can’t do,
legally or ethically,
is hide a slow-burn enmeshment between a fiduciary and her friend-turned-client’s violent husband, then pretend it only got "awkward" after the harm was done.
this wasn’t awkward.
this was willful concealment.
that was internally laughed off.
and it escalated during a time
when i was actively funding the entire thing—
under false pretenses.
northwestern mutual knew.
they said they knew.
my new advisor—
giggled about knowing,
post dv disclosure (!)
they hid it.
and they let me walk in smiling
while the office quietly backed a dynamic
that almost killed me.
yeah. f*cking awkward, bro.
lost my life savings.
debt up to my ears.
lost my car.
almost lost my f*cking life.
but lol.
→ yet she never formally disclosed the conflict to me—her actual client. 🚩
→ she never sent a formal recusal of any kind. 🚩
→ she never gave a heads-up she might be communicating with the op. 🚩
→ i only found out way later, accidentally, from her obvious in-office homie.
cool. glad she thought it was f*cking funny.
instead of leaving my life entirely,
she continued to silently surveil me online 🚩🚩.
daily. 🚩🚩🚩
for almost a full f*cking year.
even after 🚩 the firm admitted she had a conflict and couldn’t ethically act as my fiduciary.
that is textbook unethical behavior—straight-up negligent supervision, fiduciary breach, and constructive fraud. 🖕
and it gets worse.
because let’s talk about why this matters—
beyond the obvious ethical and legal violations.
my husband had never escalated cheating into physical, potentially lethal violence—not with any other woman.
so what changed?
let’s look at the situation:
→ i’m pregnant, financially supporting him entirely 🚩
→ stuck home alone, managing his giant dog 🚩
→ having emotional breakdowns daily 🚩
→ and he’s suddenly extremely secretive 🚩
→ he’s hiding cash advances from my credit cards, vanishing late at night, and freaking out every time i question him 🚩🚩🚩🚩
even a first-year psych student knows narcissists escalate most when their image or secret relationships risk exposure.
so what’s different here?
he previously cheated casually, when the stakes were low.
now he’s cheating (or hiding something deeply questionable) in a scenario involving:
→ a major financial institution (northwestern mutual) 🚩
→ a fiduciary (her) 🚩
→ his pregnant wife (me), funding his entire life and career 🚩🚩🚩
→ financial secrets, covert communications, potentially stolen schedule ii prescriptions, and suspicious money movements 🚩🚩🚩🚩
but hear me out:
if her undisclosed relationship—whether it was emotional, financial, inappropriate, or otherwise—created the pressure that made him escalate from a serial cheater into someone willing to literally strangle his pregnant wife 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
she is directly responsible.
period.
she stayed silent about the conflict.
she accepted the fiduciary role days before i gave birth—knowing she had a potential undisclosed personal tie to my legal husband.
to give context:
late pregnancy, i had strangers on the internet watching the hospital visits, bruises, and dv stats i was posting—and immediately clocked that i was living under extreme violence and duress.
yet multiple NM reps were following me.
and said absolutely nothing.
asked nothing.
just signed me up for more policies.
if she continued her relationship with him after violence began,
still never disclosing anything to me...
and even after she officially stepped off my account,
never stopped surveilling me—
collecting private information she could intentionally or accidentally pass to the person actively threatening my life?
jesus
f*cking
christ.
if this firm-confirmed hidden relationship contributed—directly or indirectly—to the violent escalation and financial obliteration i experienced, then that’s straight-up negligence, fiduciary malpractice, and potentially aiding or enabling domestic violence.
🗣🗣 which is a f*cking actual crime.
and currently? i’m surviving with a baby off pure adrenaline. i’m completely financially fcked. we are on food stamps and the ebt card got lost in the mail so we’re relying on goodwill, while my estranged, violent, f*cking avoiding all legal financial liability is potentially…traveling…to fucking manhattan? bro. i’m past-due on a car funded under false pretenses to get my husband to this financial institution, where i now can’t even confirm he actually worked, past 10am. i’ve had to relocate cross-country twice just to stabilize and stay alive with my tiny ass baby. i’m dealing with threats daily, actual documented legal surveillance, an absolutely insane amount of brand new, heinous surplus levels of suspicious af VPNS hitting this site by the minute—with literally no resources, no protection, while your firm downplays and ignores every documented red flag.
this isn’t about drama. this isn’t me exaggerating or trying to stir sh*t up. this is legally actionable misconduct with life-threatening consequences.
so let me spell this out clearly for northwestern mutual, compliance reps, regulators, or whoever else is reading this:
→ 🗣🗣 if your undisclosed relationship or professional negligence contributed in any way—emotionally, financially, physically—to nearly getting me killed and destroying my life, i’m coming for all of you.
and i’m putting every single second of this bullsh*t firmly on the f*cking record.
✶
⚠️trigger warning⚠️
graphic photos of dv-related injuries
-
jan. 15th 2024 assault
10 days before giving birth.
-
jan. 15th 2024 assault
facetime screenshots
-
jan. 16th documentation & er visit
fetal movement ceased
let me be more explicit:
🗣🗣
if i uncover that my financial rep. manipulated her professional position to maintain an undisclosed personal relationship—one that breached the boundaries of co-worker, fiduciary, and client obligations—and if that concealment obstructed my ability to make informed, rational decisions about my safety, finances, or future, that rep.—and the institution that enabled her—will be held fully legally accountable. for every omission. for every consequence. for every dollar. for every f*cking bruise.
part 2 ✶ statement of surveillance, conflict, and straight-up betrayal
part two → the lethality threat
sam lee lowe · policyholder · payor · protected party under tro
october 2024 → july 2025
let's be real clear—just because i'm sarcastic, publicly transparent, and documenting every second of this sh*t online doesn't mean i'm not genuinely terrified. i am. this isn't drama for clicks; it's real life. and the stakes here are simple:
i could've gotten killed.
my financial rep from northwestern mutual was legally required to protect my financial interests. instead, she silently stepped off my account—no formal recusal, no professional heads-up, nothing. she did it because she had a conflict of interest (this was internally confirmed by my new rep): a personal relationship with my husband, the guy who tried to literally kill me. that’s not just awkward; that’s legally f*cked.
here's exactly why that's dangerous 💀:
→ when you're actively escaping domestic violence—especially from someone who's violent, unstable, and obsessively controlling—every single piece of your information matters.
→ he had already shown he could advance to lethal levels of violence against me when confronted and cornered; he had broken into multiple homes, hacked my email and social accounts, and weaponized the police against me when i wouldn't do what he wanted, even if it were illegal.
→ he'd already strangled me during pregnancy.
→ bro, he wasn't playing around—he was dangerous, and that’s why there was an active tro in place.
🚩 want one more huge red flag?
→ onboarding with my “new advisor” katie was a night-and-day difference. like—she actually, contacted me…ever.
since being assigned to her, i’ve had:
• zoom meetings
• actual phone calls
• real-time texts
• direct personal emails (not just automated chain sh*t)
• full documentation of every communication
…like how a normal f*cking fiduciary is supposed to operate?
you know, have some kind of contact with you?
you know what i never had with jessica t?
🛑 no Zoom
🛑 no phone call
🛑 no texts
🛑 no direct emails (that haven’t been deleted)
🛑 no fcking contact whatsoever*—not even a welcome message.
our only financial communication is via instagram dm, because even though she had formally been assigned my advisor, i didn’t even have her phone number.
she never contacted me about my accounts, never once. on record.
this woman had access to my medical records, my financial history, and my policy details.
she had authorization to manage my daughter’s life insurance.
and she never once made contact?
→ not even when i gave birth.
(besides directly visiting our home—
while only in contact with my husband,
so she could hold my newborn
while i sat in the backroom,
nursing two black eyes
and a c-section, office gift?
nah. just onboarding.)
→ not even when she knew i was hospitalized.
→ not even when i was sending premiums on three policies with her name in every confirmation email.
but hey i got a dm about a porkroll once.
but—she was texting my husband constantly.
FaceTiming.
Venmoing.
sending him job leads.
watching my instagram every day like a f*cking hawk.
so—clearly, she knew how to reach me.
she just... didn’t.
bro.
i didn’t even have,
the mental capacity
to clock the ridiculousness.
i truly thought,
lmfao—NAH?!
and now?
that’s starting to look a lot less like negligence…
and a lot more like a deliberate concealment of conflict.
intentional silence.
selective access.
a fiduciary wall built between me and my own f*cking representative—
while she kept open communication (to a level that actually publicly caused embarrassment in our family, even after relocation) with the man actively abusing me.
and NM called that “awkward”?
”they were really close?”
lol.
nah.
that’s structural deception.
and it cost me everything.
when we finally estranged—
i was terrified.
this man was threatening me constantly.
with police.
with defamation.
with public shaming.
with active stalking.
we were in real, imminent danger.
so i did what survivors do:
i locked everything down.
private accounts.
new passwords.
zero contact.
full protective orders.
and my financial rep knew this.
→ she knew because i posted it repeatedly.
→ she knew because she watched every single disclosure in real-time.
→ she saw every restraining order update, every financial breakdown, and eventually every attempt to get northwestern mutual to acknowledge their massive screw-up.
why the f*ck would you feel entitled
to my personal realtime
actual marital abuse & betrayal—
while you fucking gauwked?
bro what?
considering you never
respected me as a human being—
never knew your
fucking place?
never once.
you took advantage of every abusive dynamic.
while signing on to manage—
my kid’s f*cking life policy?
that’s now f*cking gone?
girl.
i trusted her.
i gave her respect.
i gave her my f*cking money.
still:
❌ she managed our family policies solely through private communications with my husband—while i was postpartum.
❌ she onboarded me to pay for policies, that i apparently didn’t “own” the literal WEEK i was in the hospital having a planned c-section. (she remembered when she came into my home a week later to visit my baby and husband—remember, i still don’t have her phone number.)
❌ she never formally disclosed that she was too close to him to stay impartial.
❌ she never recused herself officially—or at all.
❌ she never even DMed me to say, “hey—i’m too close to this situation.”
❌ she never told me she stepped away. or that she maintained any relationship with my abusive husband.
instead:
→ she went without telling me anything
→ she set ownership of 2 out of 3 policies (including my infant’s) in my unemployed husband’s name, so i couldn’t access anything, despite being listed payor.
.→ she quit the whole firm, left the state, and never let me know she wasn’t actively acting as my fiduciary.
→ left zero professional forwarding contact. quietly disappeared behind the scenes—no formal update, no transition plan, nothing.
→ and kept watching me.
→ and now? within a week of watching my last story? when i DM her with relevant policy info—she stonewalls me, won’t open a single message.
→ within a week or two of me demanding some clarifications, she deletes multiple of her social accounts she was just using daily to keep tabs on me. zero response. zero professional forwarding contact information. refusing to open my DMs or respond before she deletes.
but daily?
from october 2024 to july 2025—
my former fiduciary was glued to my locked-down instagram,
silently surveilling a domestic violence survivor,
while never once making a professional disclosure.
tell me how that’s not malicious.
tell me how that’s not stalking.
tell me how that’s not textbook fiduciary abuse.
and honestly?
babe, that’s f*cking straight creepy.
like?
how did you not know
watching me post my
bruised pregnant head,
delivered by your office-
inappropriate-bestie
that you secretly (from
seemingly only me)
maintained a conflict with—
wasn’t f*cking problematic?
yo? what?
→ and let’s be clear:
i was already in fear for my f*cking life—
terrified to even speak aloud what he did to me.
this was a man who tried to kill me while i was pregnant—
while i was funding his career, his car, his groceries.
so yeah—wtf do you think he’s gonna do
when i legally call him out
and leave a permanent public record
that he’s a violent abuser?
yo. this makes me so mad.
because clearly—none of these people
understood the lethality risk they were sitting on.
not a single one.
and it’s unsettling,
y’all thought
this was a joke?
like lol, conflicted
personal relationship
with the partner of a
pregnant spouse/client?
LOL SO FUNNY?
bro—what?
did you not
even detect
the f*cking danger?
not even worth—
looking into?
disclosing absolute sh*t?
with our lives
on the f*cking line?
damn.
(coooooooooooool)
→ and because she was close to my abuser?
because her “recusal” was treated as an office joke—
there was a real, ongoing, and reckless risk
that she could’ve passed my private info to him.
intentionally.
or unintentionally.
either way?
that’s life-threatening.
that’s grossly negligent.
and that’s legally indefensible.
🖕
and let’s be real: the timing is sketchy as f*ck.
→ the moment i vaguely hinted at her conflict online—
so cryptically that literally no one else would know who i meant—
(yo pause. literally not a single soul in my life knew her name until right now, besides maybe as “oh that weird girl obsessed with your husband?” aka my ex’s “pathetically desperate coworker that nonstop tries to be picked by a married man by dangling generational wealth—with tragic skin and teeth”)
→ but lol. my steady court-ordered child support ducking husband suddenly sends money, breaking 8 months of strategic non-payment. within…45 minutes of my non-identifying diary entry? lol.
✶ he had, in fact—just days prior, denied a venmo request for a similar amount of money, out of nowhere, from months earlier—seemingly in relation to my new conflict i’d raised within NM.
📌 not subtle.
absolutely most horrific part? completely unverified because northwestern mutual refuses to acknowledge or respond to a single one of my “bro—this is a crisis” pleas i’ve now sent for over a month.
🚩but: public records seem to geolocate my husband to her city borough.
🚩 in the precise window i’m emailing their compliance department—
→ begging for formal confirmation
→ that there isn’t an active conflict of interest
→ between my former financial representative
→ and the man i have a Final Restraining Order against.
because she was actively surveilling me,
which i forwarded with documented proof.
weeks earlier.
and i didn’t want to “over-react”
🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣
babe, this is not a joke. writing this down publicly is a huge threat to our safety. every disclosure of abuse is almost definitely enraging the abuser.
but baby?—if they were actively together, as she stalked my socials daily, as i begged the financial firm that created this situation to help me, if i had disclosed everything prior and she was still actively keeping tabs?
yo. i can’t even imagine the liability if that’s real.
like fucking unprecedented levels of liability.
and truly—i don’t know shit.
because seriously. this dude is supposed to be living across the country from the location on that public record. and remember, this is the same man that just stated he could only afford $100 in child support since the biden administration, this is the same dude that’s claiming to courts he’s been unemployed since late 2024—but potentially…seeming to pop up in…manhattan?
bro—what the f*ck?
🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣
yo. this is truly not funny at all.
if true?
this would be astronomically insane levels of negligence and reckless fucking endangerment. the only reason i’m even writing it down publicly is because no one will listen to me. people look at me sideways when i tell them this is real, because no one believes a financial firm could fuck up this severely.
but seriously, i have no backup. i have no protection.
the only thing i’ve got—are these public disclosures to keep us visible and in people’s cognition.
✶
please remember (!)
this last bit is ✶ unconfirmed since northwestern mutual has disclosed absolutely nothing, despite my repeated emergency-level pleas for help.
🚩🚩🚩 but wait…
after all this sh*t and actively surveilling me for months post-estrangement and apparently post recusal—at the exact time this public record appears on file—what does my former fiduciary do?
🚩🚩🚩BRO.
→ poof; i’ve been open and publicly talking shit about this specific situation online, on my socials, in code only people on the inside would understand, for weeks—while she watched with her legal name and whole face. but suddenly? she unfollows me after nearly two years of daily surveillance. yo these two are so covert i swear.
and shortly after? accounts deleted.
→ lol. like that's going to erase the past two years
→ like that’s going to make the potential damage vanish
→ okay, cool. totally normal behavior for someone who’s innocent, right?
the craziest part?
i would NEVER assume or want to believe any of this is true—even when there were red flags. because we were openly a family, i was openly induced in to funding his life, i was kind to everyone at the office—i went full in. they onboarded me in active labor—bro. for sht i was gunna pay premiums on for a year, but evidently don’t belong to me—at all, including my child’s—that i signed every document to initiate. my new rep? babe—she deleted that sh*t off my account post “i have $700 left and just paid all three policies under FRO” disclosure, immediately after our first meeting, and then offered zero refund…while calling it hostile.
but y’all?
i know it seems bad.
but i never once would have,
actually thought—
it was like that?!
i have been begging them to correct me
or deny the conflict, since mid-june—
literally tell me fucking anything.
they’ve seen what i’m alleging.
they sent it to legal.
they have since gone—silent
despite our ongoing threat.
🖇️ legally, here's the blunt summary:
→ failure to formally recuse herself from managing my account despite clear conflict of interest; which was disclosed informally by her successor
→ surveillance of a protected party: continuously monitoring my private disclosures while knowing i’m under active threat from someone she’s potentially still connected to
→ potential facilitation of retaliation: direct link established between my coded disclosure about her and immediate contact from my abuser
→ negligent supervision by northwestern mutual: their complete failure to recognize or stop this behavior despite multiple documented warnings
this isn't me being dramatic—
this is me spelling out how lethally dangerous this was, and still is.
because as i’ve disclosed, in writing, for months:
→ he is violent.
→ i have an active FRO.
→ and he is a threat to me and my child.
🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣
you don’t get to sit that one out.
not legally.
not ethically.
not ever.
I AM LUCKY WE DID NOT DIE.
I TRULY MEAN THAT.
i say that with my whole fucking chest.
just because i'm posting it publicly doesn't mean the threat isn’t dead f*cking serious.
it is. i am.
and now it's documented.
✶
but honestly—babe?
i’m glad he violently came for me and not you.
i mean this:
you would have never survived it.
zero natural instincts.
and now we’re both still alive.
jealousy raised the odds of an intimate-partner homicide turning into a homicide-suicide by 3.5×.
U.S. CDC NVDRS data (2016-2020)the realist sh✶t i got:
yo. this entire situation? has been an active threat to our safety for almost a year.
and that’s not just me being “dramatic” or “obsessed” or whatever the f*ck people say to survivors. it’s a literal safety risk to be saying any of this out loud—while my abusive estranged husband is unaccounted for, potentially unstable, and possibly receiving real-time updates through someone who legally should’ve been protecting me.
and seriously? that’s what kept me spiraling for months. like—was this girl just some neutral, semi-pathetic ex-coworker still watching for no reason? was she just curious? am i being paranoid? do i just need to block her and chill?
or was she covertly feeding information—photos of me, disclosures about my location, updates about my love life, finances and legal battles—straight back to the man who tried to kill me?
yo, how the f*ck was i supposed to know?
that’s why this matters. that’s why it’s not petty. because when you’re surviving violence, even neutral silence can be a threat.
and a bad-faith follower with insider access?
that could be fatal.
✶
legal release:
redactions, intent & protected disclosures
this page contains information related to my official SEC whistleblower complaint (TCR #17524-664-607-685) and accompanying civil claims involving fiduciary misconduct, financial exploitation, and policy tampering connected to my role as a client and protected party.
redactions
i have intentionally redacted or abbreviated names to first and last initials where feasible—not out of obligation, but as a baseline of decency for people who extended me none.
this is not revenge.
this is the public record of my survival, documented on my terms, in my voice.
intent
my intent is not:
to stalk, dox, harass, or incite action against any specific person
to endanger anyone’s safety, employment, or family
to manufacture rumors or knowingly misstate fact
my intent is:
to ensure this story is not suppressed by power or privilege
to prevent future clients, survivors, or vulnerable parties from falling into the same legal trap
to protect the integrity of my whistleblower status under federal law
to create an accountable timeline of events rooted in documentation, not deflection
legal protections
this disclosure is protected under:
15 U.S.C. § 78u–6(h) (Dodd-Frank whistleblower retaliation clause)
First Amendment (U.S. Const. amend. I)
Fair report privilege (Gertz v. Welch)
Truth defense (NYT v. Sullivan)
Anti-SLAPP statutes in Colorado, California, New York, Texas, and Florida
