“THE OFF-CHANNEL COMMS BE FULL OF DICKPIX (THE REMIX)” 🎤🔥⚡🧨 (feat. breach babe) prod. by: fuckboy mutual™ 💀🚔
(if i was a white girl from nj that rapped rn)
…
🔥🖋️💀
SHE’S UNFORTUNATELY FUCKING WHITE.
SHE’S FROM MOTHERFUCKING JERSEY.
SHE’S GOT SOME BADASS BARS,
A MOTHERFUCKING BINDER,
& A FUCKING POWERPOINT WITH BLOOD AND A TOOTH SPIT OUT ON IT.
🚔🚨❄️😵💫
—
✦
🧨💼 “THE OFF-CHANNEL COMMS BE FULL OF DICKPIX (THE REMIX)” 🎤🔥⚡🧨
(feat. breach babe & the federal rules)
prod. by: fuckboy mutual™
★ parental advisory: screenshots were preserved in accordance w/ Rule 26(b)(1) of the FRCP 😌
★ explicit version—parental advisory: this verse will end your compliance officer’s marriage
😈🔥🎤
✦🎙️ intro
🚨 ayo 🚨
welcome to fuckboy mutual™,
where we—
"gaslight you into funding your husband’s
coke-fueled fuckfest with a teammate he calls 'sheriff'"
and the benefits package includes:
💀 zero sales
💀 incomplete IRA rollovers
💀 negative $60k and a double move cross country
💀 unsupervised sex in an office chair
💀 and an iMessage thread full of dickpix, lies, and liability.
babe—💊✨
your husband’s career path? ❄️😵💫
ends in a co-worker’s pills & powder trail
and your credit score in hell. 😘
lemme talk to corporate real quick:
🎶🎤🥶
✦
🗣 grab the compliance manual,
a fucking redbull, and that bitch’s phone log
we got some motherfucking crimes to print
💊🤪💿✨❄️😵💫
✦ [verse 1]
first of all
fuck your firm, fuck your pitch
fuck the hoe who “mentored” my man and sucked dick
fuck the coke bag, fuck your deck
fuck your shitty blazer and your tech
fuck your retention call
when my mortgage was fucking wrecked
fuck your smiley reps,
fuck your training vids
you made my life collapse
so you could run up fucking bids
while i bled in a diaper,
y’all got motherfucking lit
i was eatin’ ramen, she was suckin’ tit
🎤😎💨
off my dime.
off my grind.
off my fucking trauma y’all call “decline.”
off his tbi, y’all saw a mark—
bitch i saw a victim, y’all saw a spark.
and i’m the bitch who stayed,
paid, and prayed
while he spiraled out and y’all called it “made.”
she watched my page, then stole my fate—
and y’all call that shit a fucking “clean slate?”
🎤💊🤪💿
hey baby—
first of all
i didn’t fund no career launch
nah babe
i got corporate-laundered,
call me money-laundered mommi
got played like a policy, cooked like a fucking quarterly
while cokeheads in khakis ran team meetings orally 💋
you call it “sales”?
i call it sponsored fucking felony
mentorship my ass,
she was just runnin’ pills through his identity
he was zoned out 💊✨
i was zoned the fuck in
he made zero sales
but somehow y’all still let him clock in?
💸💿🎤🔥
✦ [hook]
nah, bitch—
this ain’t petty, it’s pretrial.
you made a pipeline outta my profile.
i built that man, y’all fed his vice—
then ran my name like a motherfuckin’ heist.
you assigned my policies
to the bitch he fucked.
with no disclosure?
ho, that’s corrupt.
he was drugged up, ❄️😵💫✨
broke,
and high as fucking hell—
and y’all still called it fucking “clientelle”???
nah—
this ain’t mess.
this ain’t stress.
this is fraud, bitch.
this is theft.
you matched my file to a cokehead clown
and now i’m rappin’ in court—
while i burn shit down.
🎤🤪🔥
nah this ain't love,
this a predicate
coke in the office?
y’all federate
mentor turned mistress turned asset fucking thief—
bitch better lawyer up,
i don’t motherfucking mediate.
🤣✨
✦ [verse 2 – full disrespect]
listen
she was watchin’ my stories while venmo’ing dick
y’all called it mentoring, i call it sick.
y’all said “independent,” i say “nah bitch—
then why she in my crib on some fraud-ass shit?”
🎤🔥⚡
🗣 “he was an addict!”
cool. you fed him that powder like snacks after school—
in a breakroom cult with a predatory rule.
🗣 “it was consensual!”
cool. run the tapes, i’ll play the fool—
while you hide the blow and the office stool.
🗣 “she’s a top performer!”
cool. then why she in my crib with a form and a tool,
signin’ postpartum docs like it’s her damn jewel?
bitch, was that commission or conquest?
which one’s the motherfucking fuel?
🤣✨
nah baby—
you got caught with a wife’s whole life in the CRM,
turned her maternity leave to a pipeline scam,
and hit SEND 💌 like “oops, just fam!”
assigned her a rep with a nose full of blow,
and a husband inside her movin’ real slow—
yet somehow y’all still made a fkn slideshow
with my DUE DATE on it like, “welcome to the show?”
you HR hoes need a damn RICO pro.
✨euphoria meets embezzlement✨
✨boardroom meets basement✨
✨baby formula on backorder while you’re doin’ rails in the statement✨
🤣✨
✦ [bridge – fuck around and find out energy]
this is material nondisclosure, baby
not “oops we shady.”
this is witness intimidation
in a corporate formation.
this is white-collar fuckery with no condom on—
now i’m gettin’ paid and y’all gettin’ fucking gone.
i was crowdfundin’ groceries,
y’all threw him fucking coke
then gaslit my pain like it’s some joke
now i’m breaching y’all like an fbi file—
with a binder that slaps and a restraining style
this wasn’t “cheating,”
this was badly organized crime, 💥🚔🎤
✦ financial fraud, in corporate rhyme
✦ marital sabotage, fuckin’ sublime
✦ title IX meets RICO—bitch, read the sign.
✦ your handbook got clauses and shit for “oral time”??
✦ that’s not “mentorship,” that’s a felony line.
and bitch—
you played with a preggo wife’s fucking life,
pushed powder to a vet with a brain full of strife,
locked me out while you sharpened the knife,
and now you in court like,
“she’s hostile,” right??
nah.
👏✨😐
i read the code:
colorado § 10-3-1104,
(h)(IV), if you wanna explore—
aka “you can’t fuck my man while you settle the score 💥
by managing my policies behind a motherfucking locked door.”
and y’all yanked her file the minute i said fucking “DV”—
but no paper trail?
no warning to me??
not a single red flag in your CRM tree??
just ghosted my trauma like a fucking clean-up spree.
🤣✨
✦[finale – outro of god tier evidence bars]
now i’m exhibit A with a bluetooth mic
replayin’ the facts y’all thought weren’t typed
my trauma? notarized.
my rage? subpoenaed.
your whole branch?
gettin’ RICO'd and cleaned up.
so next time a postpartum wife calls fucking foul
and you tryna hush her with a grin and a towel?
just know:
she might be sam. 💀
she might be me.
and her next verse
might end in your fuckin’ guilty plea.
💀🤣✨
🧷 breach babe out.
court in session, bitch.
🎤💥
🧷🧷🧷
#fuckboymutual™
#breachbabe
#policyfraudprincess
#icanbeatthiscaseandstillbraidmydaughtershair
#dueprocessbutmakeitnasty
#offboardthis
#bitchhadabonusandabackdoor
#nocontactnococaine
#insuredbutunhinged
#whitegirlinlitigationmode
#depositiondaybitch
(the most unhinged shit i’ve put together in a minute)
