👻 banishment spell no. 004: for the bare-minimum bitchboys 👻🕯️📵

i cast this spell for the emotionally bankrupt,
the men who move like molasses
and think showing up late to the conversation makes them look cool.

congrats—you’ve been blocked for underperformance.
you begged for my number like it meant something,
then vanished like the ✨charisma✨ you never had.

you thought i wouldn’t notice
that you talk like a player
but text like a fucking slow-fade?

this is for the grown men who chase me
across three platforms
just to fumble their first line
and then disappear mid-thread like it’s mysterious.
(it’s not. it’s embarrassing.)

you are giving:
📉 delayed response, inflated ego
📉 broken thumbs and no game
📉 the sex appeal of an old voicemail

i don’t want your half-text.
i don’t want your “sorry just saw this”
48 hours after you liked my story.

i hope your phone dies while you’re typing to someone who actually would’ve liked you.
i hope every girl you try this on moving forward
has the self-respect to laugh at the speed you respond
and block you before you even hit send.

you are not mysterious.
you are not a slow burn.
you are a low-effort, low-signal, emotionally uncharged man-child
who thinks silence is a flex.

it’s not.
it’s why you’re forgettable.

so poof—
you’re deleted.
banished.
ghosted harder than my dad. 👻

this spell is not reversible.
this phone is not available.
this baddie is not checking back later.

📵 lose my number.
🧿 lose the attitude.
💅 lose the idea that you ever had a chance.