♥ how many of us stay?

because we love them.
because they said they’d change.
because they begged and cried.
because they said they’d die without us.
because we had nowhere else.
because leaving is dangerous.
because the gaslighting worked.
because “who would believe me?”

→ it takes an average of 7 tries to leave.
(national domestic violence hotline)

→ only 1 in 4 survivors ever call the police.
(bureau of justice statistics)

→ 77% never tell anyone.
not friends. not family.
not even once.
(ndvh)

♥ how many of us go broke trying to survive?

→ 99% of survivors experience financial abuse.
(center for financial security)

that doesn’t just mean being locked out of the money.
it also means:

→ recklessly spending your money
→ watching your savings disappear
→ being left with joint debt you didn’t know existed
→ cosigning for cars and loans you can’t afford.
→ watching your name be trashed while they keep theirs clean

this is what it looks like when someone uses love as a loan, and leaves you holding the balance.

→ 54% of survivors say they stayed longer because they couldn’t afford to leave.
(allstate foundation)

→ 73% said financial abuse kept them trapped.
(nnedv)

they didn’t just control the money.
they controlled your escape route.

♥ how many don’t leave a mark?

→ 57% say emotional abuse was the most damaging form of harm.
(journal of interpersonal violence)

→ emotional abuse is a predictor of future physical violence.
(ncadv)

no bruises.
just a nervous system assault.
hands shaking as you sit in the car.
walking on eggshells in your own home.
you google “am i overreacting?”
because they made you question your own suffering.

♥ how many of us don’t survive the exit?

→ most domestic violence homicides happen after the survivor tries to leave.
(national institute of justice)

→ 1 in 2 women murdered in the u.s.
were killed by a current or former partner.
(cdc)

→ nearly half of them
had already asked for help.

♥ how many of us carry it forever?

→ ptsd from domestic abuse can outlast combat trauma.
(american psychological association)

→ survivors live with:

• panic in safe places

• numbness during joy

• sleep that never restores

• hypervigilance as personality

• shame that doesn’t belong to them

• people asking, “but why didn’t you leave sooner?”

♥ and when they ask:

“why didn’t you just leave?”

this is the answer:

i did.
over and over.
and then i survived what came after.
and now i’m here.
rebuilding,. and it’s fucked up.
but still—here.

</3 this is not rare.

this is not exaggerated.
this is not your fault.

you are not broken.
you are not insane.
you are not alone.