👻 banishment spell no. 005: for the tragic stage-10+ clinger

👻 banishment spell no. 005: for the venmo goblin who couldn’t even reach side-bitch status 👻🕯️📵

i cast this spell for the tragic hoes who mistake sending loser men money for romance.

girl.
you definitely weren’t ever the wife.
you weren’t the mistress.
you weren’t even the fucking sneaky link.
you were a walking atm with a bad cardigan, (lmfao)
funding gas for a bum who called you “buddy” behind your back.

you really thought a venmo memo = intimacy?
nah, bitch.
that’s charity work for the clinically delusional.

you are giving:
📉 financial pick-me
📉 discount-groupie energy
📉 the sexual magnetism of a wet paper bag

the clownery is generational.
you funneled cash to a man who couldn’t keep his own lights on,
thinking you were building something.
newsflash: the only thing you built
was a paper trail of desperation.

✨

i hope your bank app crashes every time you open it.
i hope your “good morning” texts autocorrect to “pathetic.”
i hope every bartender clocks you as the girl paying full price
while your “man” is outside driving around the fucking dogs.

you are not competition.
you are not a rival.
you are the unpaid intern of sloppy infidelity.
the clearance-rack bitch who couldn’t even get promoted to side-piece.

poof—banished.
deleted harder than your self-respect. 👻

this spell is permanent.
this roster has no vacancies.
this bitch does not acknowledge tryouts from seat-fillers.

📵 lose the fantasy.
🧿 lose the delusion.
💅 lose the audacity to think you were ever in my league.