nah—check? 😐😶😶‍🌫️🫥

bro.

prior to this shitshow?

🌩️⚡️😩

…my biggest fight?? 💔

was literally—
“should we wear the mask at whole foods?”

💖✨🌈

so,
how did i get here???

because,
really—
holy shit
no.
what
savage fucking
genocidal war crimes
💥🔙⚖️
did i commit
in a past life
to go from
roses,
kisses,
“we’re so quirky we fight about covid rules.”
to…
💥 waiting fucking backstage
for a below average dick
who is lost
on a fucking
ski slope of coke,
while actively constructing a fake linkedin job??

…👀🍿😈

nope.

check please.

babe—
from sunflowers on the counter??
to manual
and
financial strangulation?!

✨🤝🎁💀✨

yo.
what the fuck??

⚡️😩

i was climbing trees,
living like a feral disney princess 👑✨
with a fucking mortgage.

-

fast-forward.✨
i accidentally swiped right
on a demented demon on drugs 😈💭
destined for fucking wedlock—
fuckboy mutual™.
and a goddamn extortion pipeline??
lol.
nah.
no roses.
no morning giggles—
just getting choked the fuck out,
embarassing side bitches,
coke trails,
fake fucking supervisors,
and my bank account
absolutely
fucking flatlined
to fund a glee club reunion orgy.

😐😶😶‍🌫️🫥

holy.
fucking.
shit.

😬📉😭