congratulations. you married a fucking junkie. 🔥🔥🔥
title: congratulations. you married a fucking junkie.
subtitle: not a husband. just a freight train of fucking lies with a dick
and “a person with a compulsive habit or obsessive dependency on…something.”
✨🚩✨
(a totally likely theory)
—
bro.
✨🐀✨
you ever be so
catastrophically trusting
you accidentally bankroll a coke problem
with student loan money
while he “builds his book of business”
out of white lines off mirrors
at some bitch’s fucking apartment?
🚓🚨🏃💨
this is the highest tier
of mediocre-dude audacity
i’ve ever seen on fucking record.
🔥🤬✋✨
like yeah babe
✦ defrauded my credit card,
✦ wreck my car,
✦ take my pregnant ass—
✦ from standing
✦ straight to the fucking floor,
✦ head first into the wood—
while your coworkers laughed—
over
and over
and over—
but god forbid you miss
a goddamn fucking bump.
✨🔥🧂🔥✨
every nice thing
he said
now scans as
fucking fraud with emojis.
🧟♂️ “i love you” = i love your banking & routing numbers.
🧟♂️ “we’re a team” = hand me the keys to your car and shut up.
🧟♂️ “going to the gym” = i’m funding the white-nostril fucking olympics.
🔥🔥🔥
nah.
i didn’t marry a man.
i married a fucking chump✨
full of little bitch-ass excuses
and a jaw that clicked
and a body
in fucking decay.
🔥🔥🔥🥯💫
homie,
got progressively
less hot.
and be serious
i lived through WAY
more shit than you
by the time i was fucking six—
so shut the fuck up.
a true lil wife-punching bitch.
weak.
fucking pathetic. 💫
🤡🍿💍🐍🎈✨
my dude—
would look me dead in the eye,
WHITE SHIT still
on his fuckin nose,
like “babe i’m just tired.”
tired??
you’ve been up
for two full fucking days
sniffing fucking drywall
in some troll’s downtown spot—
who’s got a coke tray,
a fucking iPad,
and a goddamn copy of
'you are a badass' on the nightstand.
holy shit.
shut the fuck up.
👉🤡🔌✨
this man
wasn’t building a career.
he was building a pipeline.
these bitches for sure—
kept it professional,
but babe,
the business
wasn’t fucking insurance policies.
🤯💥😵💫🔥
because even
when i tried to
disclose the violence
to another professional
suposidly uninvolved??
yo,
that bitch ALSO
defrauded me
three separate fucking times???
🙃🐍✨
homie—
🎤 🤡✨ this is not
“a rogue” fucking problem,
it’s a fucking fraternity,
that almost got me killed.
mid-marriage
mid-pregnancy.
post-inducement—
no
fucking
mercy.
because
nah.
this ain’t insurance—
something else was
running back and forth,
and it wasn’t
fucking client cold calls.
LMFAO.
😑🪦
whole time?
i’m sitting at home
with a screwdriver in one hand
and a fuckin bank app in the other
wondering why he’s sending
the last fucking cash in
venmo payments
days before my kid’s birth—
from my fucking bank account
because “he just owed someone money”
after he already bankrupted our ass??
but that someone—?
yep.
lmfao
what a fucking idiot.
🤡💥👀👤
so guess what?
it went up his nose
right before
he bounced my skull off the hardwood
like it owed him fucking cash
for his next 7-Eleven run.
✨🐀✨
nah.
this wasn’t love.
this was a fucking
logistics operation.
and i was the
unpaid cash-register,
the bitch who got
a hundred prescription pills stolen
mid-pregnancy—
while he shows up one fucking place.
who didn’t realize
she married a fraudulent little bitch
with army sob story
and a coke connect
with a goddamn crush.
✨💩✨
yo.
bro was out here
posing like
he had deals to close,
but all he closed
was bathroom doors
and my fucking checking account.
✨🤝✨🤗🔪✨💰
you think he didn’t cheat?
my dude would
bang literally anything
ANYTHING
on blow.
based on the fucking record.
and every
fucking relationship
he ever fucking had.
so, real question?
how fucking many??
on that much yayo???
personality-changing-amounts
of fucking yay??????
but idk man—
he was BUSY
crawling through every
fucking lie he ever told me
like a raccoon in a trash can
high out his fuckin mind.
✨💀🔥✨
i’d be googling
“how to help your partner with executive dysfunction”
while he was googling
“does coke go bad in a hydro flask.”
✨🤩❄️💊🤡
and don’t
get me started on the “career”.
that shit wasn’t a job.
that was a fuckboy habitat.
i got sponsored
into signing legal docs
with a fucking brain bruise
while my “rep” was sending him CASH
for reasons that are now
clearly LIES— ✨🐀✨
and texting him how cute my baby was???
wild.
fucking barf.
absolutely psychotic
professional behavior.
✨💩🤥🤢🗑️✨
and y’all got the fuckin nerve
to call this “on-channel”?
yeah,
my marriage was fucking hijacked.
by widespread fraud
and an apparent yayo pipeline—
while you took my financials
and then claimed
“who the fuck are you”
✨🤥💊❄️😦
L
O
L
🔥
no.
this was felony-adjacent
financial drain with stimulant side quests.
miss me with the bullshit cute buzzwords.
so here’s the part
for all you background bitches
who “partied” with him
while i was home
folding fucking baby onesies
and filing restraining orders:
🔥 you’re not hot.
🔥 you’re not chill.
🔥 you’re just fucking trash.
🤮🚽
permanently.
and with fuckin prejudice.
🕯️🖕🏻
