📂 IN THE DISTRICT COURT OF “OH SHIT”💥 REALITY

so i’m a single mom,
trying to remain
a fucking law student,
and involuntary fucking forensic analyst
who somehow
became a better
goddamn recordkeeper
than their
entire fucking compliance department.

…

and
unfortunately for them?

✨ i don’t forget.
✨ i don’t delete.
✨ i don’t “misplace” entire email threads.

babe,
also???
i definitely don’t let reps:

🤡 send my husband money
🤡 breach sexual + personal boundaries with him
🤡 enter my fucking home
🤡 onboard me while i’m still sliced the fuck open—postpartum
🤡 and then act like i imagined the whole fucking thing.

—

shit.

i guess
i’m unintentionally
absolutely “that bitch”
and goddamn—
looks like she’s got
literal proof of misconduct
✨from every corner ✨
of your fucking operation.

…

plus?
she has a fucking sense of humor
and no incentive to shut up.

🕵🏼🔍💫

your defense is cracking
like cheap gel nails at a shitty-ass crime scene.

damn.

your named reps are probably googling

“can you get sued for onboarding someone while sleeping with their husband?”

💥

lmfao.

nah, babe.
i archived your sins
before you even changed
your fucking status.

and now?
your internal counsel is getting
fucking ✨chest pains✨
every time i say
“amended complaint”

they tried to say
i wasn’t the policy owner
while simultaneously mailing me
“pay this to keep your coverage.”

girl.
pick a fucking lie
and stick with it.

🤥💸👋

—

it is not my fucking fault
that the amended complaint
is basically a fucking career obituary
for anyone with their name
on a signature page.
💫

bestie—

i begged you for clarity.
i put everything in writing.
i continued to act in good faith.

so. yo team 🤡
it’s not even personal at this point.
it’s just fucking paperwork.

—

babe,

this isn’t “she’s angry.”

this is: 🥸🥸🥸
“she has the records, the law, the motive, and the location data.”

this is:

“we thought we’d get away with it because she was tired and fucked up and broke and busy.”

and now i’m not any of those things.

💣💥

—

so, listen
y’all are the equivalent
of goddamn corporate compost.

👻

for real—

“i tried to warn you,
but you told the judge i never fucking existed.”

this isn’t some sad girl blog post.
this is a timeline-anchored,
exhibit-labeled,
metadata-verified fucking siege engine.

filed with:

💣 working theories tied to actual misconduct
💣 timelines that match logins to billing to deleted messages
💣 screenshots, records, signed docs, cc’d emails, and statutory violations
💣 court orders showing retaliation, concealment, and indirect contact after a dv-related separation

and now?

babe—
she’s not asking
y’all to do the right thing.

nah,
we tried that.
now she’s building
the kind of paper trail
that will make you do it.

✨💣✨