“local texas stepdad of the year” 🤡⭐🏈🤠🌵
nah bro
i’m not even mad.
✨holy shit.✨
i’m fucking laughing.
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
presenting…
🦸♂️🏈🤘🏽 (the texas stepdad out on felony bond)
—
first off???
the chick—
absolutely tracks
like ok…
who the fuck
lets
a goddamn felon
out on fucking bond
who has ditched
his fucking own baby;
has a well-documented
substance abuse problem…
who has
strangled and punched 🤘🔥
his pregnant wife—
✨around their small-ass children?✨
wow…
WOW.
—
like imagine it—
abandoning your own blood,
having multiple restraining orders,
two fucking counties worth of mugshots,
and then
✨deciding✨
your next character arc is
“heroic texas stepdad.”
?????
WHAT
🤠🎸⭐
oh my fucking god.
that’s absolutely fucking
pyschotic.
babe,
you’re not healing—
you’re fucking rebranding.
he’s basically
out there running a clearance
rehab-through-replacement program.
“new family, who dis?” but make it…addict energy.
“she let’s me casually ✨[despite being around children]✨ use substances and doesn’t call me out”
🇺🇲🤠👢🏈
yoooo.
just a sweaty,
bloated—
strung-out man…
with court debt…a kid he doesn’t know…
and fucking delusion,
roleplaying emotional stability
with someone else’s fucking kids???
—
and the girl?
obviously tragic.
she must think
she rescued a fucking wounded soul.
lmfao.
but baby,
that’s just the same junkie
in a different fucking jurisdiction.
🏜️🌵☀️🏈
and honestly,
looks like you’re exactly
the type
to be “cool”
with that low key
constant partying.
💋
damn,
i saw the pics.
no one dresses like that
without substances being involved.
but…🗣️ kids though???
shit.
i guess
she’s gonna learn the hard way
that “he’s so good with juveniles”
means
“he’s lovebombing minors to prove he’s not a fucking monster.”
—
and god damn…
like…
are they going
fucking trick-or-treating??
nooooo.
stop.
like a full ass rent-a-dad??
with someone else’s
legal husband??
who has his own kid??????
yo.
god bless texas 🇨🇱
lmfao.
also…
legally….
already has his own
actual daughter??
(and wife)
with his own…
actual last name
that he’s stealing dependent pay for???
to spend on…your kids?
🦸♂️🤠🐎🔥
getting extra funding???
for being married…
but living… with you?
and your…
THREE(+??) CHILDREN???
DAMN. 🇨🇱
but like…straight fucking federal fraud???
🔥 bold 🔥
…like,
what are
y’all buying,
with the hundreds of dollars
every month
he’s extorting
from VA pay for his child
and the
9 months back-pay
court-mandated support
that…is…high enough
to send him back to fucking jail??
so like…
on that stolen cash…
is he buying your kid’s shit?
or…
some alcohol for y’all???
uh ohhhh.
paying some of your bills?
—
meanwhile
i’m over here like—
congrats king,
your growth arc
has the same plot
as a fucking stray dog.
🔥 find a bed.
🔥 find a home to crash.
🔥 find a bitch to feed you.
🔥get adopted by a whole ✨dumbass family.✨
—
while your kid
says “daddy??”
to random fucking strangers…
but…bro…go…do some more drugs.
🏈🔥
