🔥 friends end up blocking you.
cool. my husband ended up choking me.
aka: the guardian article that accidentally soft-launched my discovery
—
🥰✨
lol.
welcome to the party, british journalism.
but really?
the guardian sat down like:
✨“wow, northwestern mutual might be misleading college kids
into fake ‘financial adviser’ jobs where the whole point
is to sell overpriced whole life to friends and family,
burn out, and go broke.” ✨
🤫
(not a direct quote, lmfao)
or:
✨ northwestern mutual: “this is a career opportunity.”
✨ the guardian: “girl be serious.”
✨ me: “LMFAOOOOOO.”
WAIT.
but…
the guardian is really out here like:
“we found troubling patterns…” 💕
“recruits under pressure…” 💕
“forced to sell to family…” 💕
BABY.
I LIVED THIS.
PREGNANT.
MY BROTHER IN CHRIST
HE WAS IN THE “OFFICE” 40+ HOURS A WEEK
AND MADE LESS THAN A GIRL SCOUT ON A BAD BLOCK.
literally…
babe!
it’s not a random coincidence.
it’s a goddamn design feature.
they quote:
“i spent thousands on my own policy to stay employed.”
🤯💫
holy shit.
bro.
you don’t get 80–90% dropout rates,
emotional isolation,
and kids in debt
by accident.
you get them
when the real product
is not “careers” at all.
it’s leads.
bodies through the door.
contact lists.
whatever’s left of your fucking dignity.
🏛️🕊️⚖️
the article says recruits end up:
✨ pitching whole life to anyone
✨ draining savings
✨ losing friends
✨ realizing there’s no salary
✨ and escaping in shame
wow.
love that for them.
(i don’t)
—
so…
the entire business model
relies on people being too ashamed
to talk about it.
“you failed.”
“you couldn’t hack sales.”
“you just didn’t work hard enough.”
…
nah babe.
looks like the guardian
was straight-up like:
👉✨🦄✨
the job is barely real
the pay is basically vibes
the “professional development”
is grooming you
on how to shake down your own family
and the company bounces with
the only thing that ever mattered to them:
🔥 your data and your referrals. 🔥
on my timeline, 🤱💖
that “career opportunity”
is the reason a violent,
unemployed man
still looked respectable long enough
to almost kill me
while people said
“but he’s trying, he works in finance.”
🦄🌈✨🧚♀️
no babe.
this man put on
a banana republic suit
to go sit in a cubicle
and earn approximately
✨negative $38/day✨
but god forbid
you fucking question him
🤫
—
this is my opinion,
based on:
the guardian’s reporting
on nm’s recruiting & compensation structure
my own records
and the fact pattern
i already handed multiple courts & agencies.
i’m not saying
“northwestern mutual = illegal pyramid scheme”
that’s for regulators and judges to decide.
🥰✨
