lively v. logic, decency & survivors everywhere
blake. fucking. lively.
not to be rude,
but actually—
yes. to be rude.
…
defendant: tone-deaf barbie w/ producer credits
docket no: 4GET-HER
style of cause:
blake. fucking. lively.
princess of pastels. duchess of deflection.
first of her name.
last to get the memo.
nature of the action:
trauma-themed brand activation
masquerading as advocacy.
girl said “survivor-centered storytelling”
and handed us a cocktail menu. 🥂
facts:
executive producer of a DV memoir adaptation
played make-believe with real women's trauma
renamed an abuser after a liquor label
layered pastels over pain
weaponized aesthetic neutrality
dared to ask: but what if survivorship was...an instagram filter?
issue:
is it still exploitation
if the exploiter is blonde, rich, and holding a blowout brush?
rule:
you can’t soft-launch feminism
by hard-launching a liquor line
application:
blake positioned herself
not as the vessel for truth
but as the face of survivorship™.
not because she lived it—
but because it’s on-brand.
she had final cut.
she had the money.
she had the mic.
and still made it about hair, alcohol,
and curated grief.
she wasn’t the victim.
she wasn’t the silenced.
she wasn’t even the bystander.
she was the bankroller.
and now she wants applause?
girl.
this isn’t feminism.
this is a business strategy
in a floral maxi dress.
judgment:
the court finds the vibes
unserious.
the motives,
fucked.
the feminism?
whiter than her PR team.
remedy sought:
one (1) gag order on fake woke white women
retroactive producer accountability
a lifetime supply of humility (non-transferable)
damages for every survivor she tried to sell empowerment to—$19.99 per bottle
revocation of all “girlboss” licenses, effective immediately
notes from chambers:
you can’t center trauma
behind the safety of ryan reynolds’ face card.
and you don’t get to cry feminist
when the only risk you took
was a branding pivot.
blake isn’t the moment.
she’s the memo we send to warn each other.
filed under:
✦ “feminism is not a photo op.”
✦ “palatable ≠ powerful.”
✦ “you are the reason we don’t talk to press.”
—
xoxo,
the bitch in the courtroom
with nothing left to lose
but her gag reflex.
(gossip girl) 💄🖤📉
