sermon on the trailer porch
a scripture study for the sanctified delusional (aka the pick-me in her jesus era)
**fuck it, i’m on a roll. let’s go mother-mary-lite-delusion.
a lesson on jesus and the bible you never read.
i.
“the woman folly is loud; she is seductive and knows nothing.”
— proverbs 9:13
bitch, please.
(let’s go slut—
full dissection)
you quoting scripture
from a pinterest board
after raw-dogging your jailed boyfriend’s
roommate on molly?
loud?
absolutely—
because silence would force accountability.
seductive?
trailer-trash at best,
desperate at worst.
knows nothing?
girl,
you think leviticus
is a harry potter spell.
next.
ii.
“for such people are not serving our lord christ, but their own appetites. by smooth talk and flattery they deceive the minds of naive people.”
— romans 16:18
you didn’t find god—
you found an alibi.
that baby was not salvation;
it was crisis PR.
your "spiritual awakening"
is just an extended apology tour
with bad acting
and worse bible interpretation.
(girl—read)
babe,
stop preaching forgiveness
when you’re still living in a dumpster fire.
iii.
“you will know them by their fruits.”
— matthew 7:16
and your fruits?
toxic smoothies only:
— babydaddy on state-mandated exile
— child wielded like a personality trait
— stolen vibes from a woman you tried to out game but couldn't stop obsessing over
— theology built entirely from instagram quotes and low-level literacy,
congrats on turning trauma
into your manipulation mechanism.
bold strategy.
it’s not working.
you’re giving—
expired before 30.
iv.
“whoever digs a pit will fall into it; if someone rolls a stone, it will roll back on them.”
— proverbs 26:27
this bitch pissed on my grave.
but guess what?
i climbed out—
hoe.
now watch obsessively,
like a ghost haunting
your own murder scene.
ironic.
pathetic.
v.
“do not be deceived: god is not mocked. a woman reaps what she sows.”
— galatians 6:7
let’s recap your spiritual crop:
— deceit watered by molly and bad decisions
— motherhood used as moral armor against reality checks
— scripture misquoted more times than your boyfriend lied about loving you
now enjoy your harvest:
— kid who doesn’t know which dude is actually her daddy
— trailer park wifi buffering your church-wifey delusions
— moral bankruptcy while misquoting jesus
vi. closing scene:
“you shall not commit adultery.”
— exodus 20:14
“let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for god will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.”
— hebrews 13:4
but yeah babe,
go off—
tell us again how
abortion is unholy.
—like it's somewhere in the bible
(spoiler: it's not, you illiterate mascot for bad faith arguments).
like girl—
sick rewrite.
destined straight for hell,
am i right?
amen princess.
…
so sweetie—
if your pulse is racing right now,
you feel like the subject—
it's recognition,
not revelation.
(i know you get confused while reading)
📸 screenshot this breakdown.
send it to your trailer-hubby or facetime…2nd?? babydaddy??
(idk who the kid thinks is the dad this week)
whichever one still picks up out of sheer dna-jail-regret.
🖥️ cry while they nod like,
"yeah babe… she’s so mean,"
as they mentally clock every
manipulative thing you ever did
to trap them in your low-to-mid level fading
“i’m a cool girl” facade of fuckability.
embarassing.
delusional.
babygirl—
stop stalking me.
if you weren’t watching,
you wouldn’t be crying right now
in the double wide.
it’s giving:
— pick-me pastor’s wife vibes
— trailer theology major with a minor in jesus-manipulation
— cosplay christian influencer without reading the instruction manual
🪬 halo slipping? secure it with your delusions.
📿 guilt hitting? call it conviction.
🧿 feeling exposed? good. maybe log off and repent for real this time.
