the great fuck-this escape 🖕🙂 (part one)

✶

part 1

yeah i loved him—
or tried to
at least at first.
fucking gross, right?
so stupid.

🥀🤡

lol.
but here’s how i knew shit
was getting bad though—
not from my family (shocker!),
but from true crime binge sessions.
bitches on streaming services
literally screaming:
"if your man strangles you—
pregnant, not pregnant, doesn't matter—
he’s literally trying to kill you."

did that stop me?
fuck no.
because complex trauma
is insane like that.
heh.

🤦‍♀️💀

but then the spit—
y’aaaaaallllllllllll.
🫡🔫
spit in my fucking face,
like,
repeatedly,
like i was fucking nothing,
brooooooo.
in my mouth,
eyes,
my fucking dignity,
once while pinning me
to the fucking floor.
bro.
like—
fuck dude.
truly imagine it:
his pregnant wife
covered in his own fucking spit.

and then,
(!!!)
just days before
i was supposed to
have his fucking baby—
hospital bed,
heart monitor,
bruises,
panic,
begging to know
if my baby was even still alive.

🖤✨

you know what
that moment really needed?
my mom,
stepdad,
brother,
dad,
literally fucking anyone,
i begged to come,
showing up,
dragging me outta there.

💔🖕

guess who showed?
just mom—
alone,
empty-handed,
sent solo to
"deal with it."

dad,
stepdad,
brother?
anyone?
lol
who the fuck knows.
crickets. 🦗🔪
too busy,
too bothered,
too fuck-off-and-die.

mom’s mission?
pack my whole life
into bags,
drag my traumatized,
postpartum ass back east,
straight into dad’s house
of childhood fucking horror. 🏚👻

realizing—
damn.
since fucking birth,
the family motto has always been:
“wow, sucks for you—
probably your fault, tho."

like, damn,
thanks demon squad,
appreciate the support.

😒🔪

oh, and the alleged
attempted murderer?
getting more violent
the more pregnant i got—
L O L 💀
the man literally
couldn’t beat me
at my regular strength,
so he waited till i was weak,
vulnerable,
about to pop.
real tough-guy shit.

family facetimed in
to the bruises,
the scratches—
clocked it instantly,
and promptly decided:
✨ “that’s sam’s problem.” ✨

my family—
always making sure
i’m properly abandoned,
just in case
i get confused
and think i deserve love
or safety
or something cute like that.

real fucking adorable. ✨

but don’t worry,
i eventually clawed my way out.
part two is coming, bitches,
and spoiler alert:
it’s savage as fuck.

and honestly.
worse.

🤷‍♀️💀✨