#darvo, inc. ™
how a whole-ass financial firm tried to roleplay the victim while i held the records
disclaimer (read this in a lawyer’s least fun voice):
this is commentary + opinion based on my records,
my lived experience, and their own filings/communications.
this is not sworn testimony. this is protected speech.
if that makes your tummy hurt, log off.
✌️✨
—
ok babes.
syllabus time.
today’s lecture is
darvo: deny, attack, reverse victim & offender.
aka:
how to look non-criminal when the paper trail says “girl, be serious.”
shocker: they did it in teams. synchronized. like olympic gaslighting.
the cast
the reps: the friendly faces who “just want to help” while helping themselves.
compliance: the clipboard that says “we take this very fucking seriously”
while forwarding your danger emails to a goddamn black hole.
also: telling people not to respond. cool.corporate: the autoresponder in human form.
weeks of “we value your trust” while butchering it.counsel: writes “no duty” like it’s a prayer candle and not a confession.
level 1: deny
(“we didn’t do that” / “that’s not our job” / “you’re mistaken, queen”)
rep squad denies obvious conflicts—
like nobody could possibly be sleeping,
selling, and supervising in the same storyline.
because ethics are optional if your awkward blazer fits.compliance denies responsibility while exercising control:
routing comms, deciding who can speak, then gagging the channel.
congrats, that’s called control.
also: allegedly instructing silence when danger is disclosed.
love that for you.corporate denies urgency with chirpy cut-paste replies as if the calendar isn’t on fire.
“we’re reviewing after PTO.” for months. while billing?
while locking doors you paid for.
while a woman’s saying DV + warrant + restraining order.counsel denies duty while citing processes that only work if a duty exists.
pick a lane, counselor. any lane.
translation: deny the facts
and if the facts won’t move, deny the meaning.
level 2: attack
(“she’s hostile” / “tone” policing / bureaucratic brinksmanship)
label the survivor “emotional,” “confused,” or “uncooperative,”
especially right after she uses the correct words:
conflict, fiduciary, restraining order, danger.escalate nothing, document nothing,
then call her persistent follow-ups “hostile.”
it’s not aggression, babe. it’s documentation.dangle access. move the goalposts.
“we can help—after you do x y z.” then vanish.
then resurface to sell the replacement for the thing you broke.
(wow! synergy!)if she says “this is unsafe,”
answer: “per our policy.”
policies don’t shield you from
negligence,
or fraud,
they just laminate it.
translation: attack credibility
so you never have to address conduct.
level 3: reverse victim & offender
(“we’re the ones being harassed actually” / “she’s ruining our reputation”)
make the survivor the problem: “too many emails,” “lawyerly tone,” “upset social posts.”
meanwhile: she’s literally flagging conflicts, payments, and access issues…with receipts.pretend the firm is being “defamed” while the firm is actively shaping the record—
who can speak, who were given endless opportunities to amend,
what’s acknowledged, what’s ignored.act wounded that she went public…
after you starved her of basic answers.
(funny how sunlight hurts what mold loves.)file no duty vibes and then hold yourself out
as the dutiful steward everywhere marketing dollars can reach.
it’s the hypocrisy for me.
translation: play victim
so the actual victim looks like the offender for saying
“hi, i’d like my property/rights/safety.”
the pattern in receipts (cliff notes)
compliance: forward the danger email, then “do not respond.”
(you said the quiet part quiet, i’ll say it loud.)corporate: generic replies while the clock runs, the bills clear,
and ownership/access mysteriously remix. “we care,” they whisper…
to the fucking void.reps: smile, onboard, misroute, upsell the fix for the harm they helped create.
customer lifecycle meets cycle of abuse.counsel: the legalese version of “who, us?”—
while standing ankle-deep in a puddle labeled control, benefit, knowledge.
why darvo “works” (until it doesn’t)
it confuses outsiders: if everyone sounds “reasonable,” the survivor looks “dramatic.”
it buys time: time kills paper trails, memories, and momentum.
it flips the risk: instead of “are we liable,” it becomes “is she risky.”
(she’s not. the conduct is.)
and then a weird thing happens:
paper doesn’t forget.
calendars don’t forget.
emails don’t forget.
bank drafts don’t forget.
routing, escalation, “per policy”—
none of that forgets either.
(bless metadata.)
what actual accountability would look like
(free consulting; you’re welcome)
admit control where you exercised it.
stop pretending independence when your emails say “do not reply.”repair what you broke before you pitch a replacement.
refunds before re-ups. access before add-ons.document conflicts in writing and notify the client, not the boyfriend,
not the office friend, not the group chat. the client.quit DARVO. if the truth exonerates you, you wouldn’t need godddamn theatre.
closing arguments, your honor
i didn’t invent these facts;
i survived them.
i didn’t invent darvo;
they executed it.
and i’m not here to be “nice.”
i’m here to be accurate.
so if anyone’s confused
why i keep speaking:
it’s because silence is how women die,
i’ll say that with my goddamn last breath—
and DARVO is how institutions
train the audience not to notice.
the show’s over.
turn the lights on.
—
footnotes for the shocked:
my burn book is exactly what i said it is:
first-person commentary, not sworn testimony,
protected by the first amendment + anti-slapp.
read at your own risk.
the “do not respond”/
routing-to-nowhere cadence
and the corporate chirp-replies
are documented in my site
narrative and correspondence logs;
the vibes you’re feeling are called inferences.
if you disagree, produce the full record.
…
tap to file under:
breach, babe ✶ villain manifesto ✶ sponsored felonies™
tagline: if you wanted me quiet, you should’ve been fucking honest.
