plausible deniability™ damn. he really fucked a troll. 🐊💍🤱✨

💍🐍

the most fucked up shit?
bro,
i still
can’t even
believe it.

like, yo.
i know
it looks bad.
i know—
it seems
blatant af
now looking over
the fucking evidence
that my legal husband 🐊✨
baby daddy 🔥
and military fucking war hero 🔥
ostensibly
full ass cheated on
his pregnant / postpartum ass
legal wife
the entire
fucking marriage.
💍🤫❤️‍🔥

because let’s be real,
for a fucking second— 🤔💭
the only way a licensed fiduciary 💡✨
gets removed from a female client’s
fucking financial file,
postpartum,
after onboarding her from
a fucking hospital bed
while still texting the husband daily —
is if someone somewhere
finally admitted
what we already knew:
that girl wasn’t just “friendly.”
she was functionally embedded
in the marriage
like a fucking parasite. 🔥💋

sorry,
wait,
hold up.
it’s still not even
fucking registering.
because,
literally ew.

because nah,
seriously.
you’re still
like,
bro, be for real.
there is no way
a man
could let
his wife
pay for so much shit—
fund the fucking dream,
sleep next to him every fucking night,
make fucking promises,
lie to her goddamn face
a then
go fuck a troll?

🚩♀️

like,
nah, really
you can’t even
fucking fathom that. 💭🧌

and maybe it is true.
maybe this dude
went out
and literally
fucked
anything that walked.
🐷🐷🐷

bro,
one time
summer 2024
this dude
came to a fam birthday party
literally
squared the fuck up
with two drugged-out
sixty-year-olds
like he’s on
the goddamn bachelor.
yo, no lie—
like he was trying
to score something 🤫
like
asked you,
with the baby in a car seat
ready to fucking go—
on a random ass
week night
to uber home (!!!!!)
from hanging with these
fucking women, alone.
these women
who for sure
most-fucking-definitely
fucked with…
whatever. 💖
lmfao.
absolutely shocking behavior.
and even
your shitty ass dad
and not-so-shitty uncle
were like,
YO,
THIS DUDE?
NAH.
this dude
is fucking playing you. 💡✨

baby—

⚡️ that was at the end. ⚡️

✨💭🙏
(side thought)
yeah,
i really wish everyone
at the goddamn office
didn’t normalize
clearly inappropriate behavior
my entire fucking pregnancy
so now
i’m fucking here
with this dude
acting like this,
outside the office…
where i can
actually fucking
see it with my
goddamn own eyeballs—
being like,
wait💡✨
no
the
fuck
he didn’t.

💍🐍

lol.

so…
tell me.
this fucking dude,
went to “work”
five days a week,
half a year.
didn’t even enroll
himself, or his fucking wife
in any goddamn policies,
then immediately
ran our whole goddamn family
through his female-office-bestie?
who set shit up
while i was giving birth
so he owned everything
but i paid.

🤥🤫💰

zero explanation.
zero disclosure.
zero contact fucking info.

besides her
direct fucking line
to my goddamn husband.

LMFAO.

✨💭

ok.
back to it.
so,
babe.
let’s do
the full-scale
disgusting-ass
bad skin, bad teeth, bad outfit
full-on fucking:

⚡️affair while wifey is preggo math +(-) ⚡️

this is where—
we run that shit all the way back.

aka 🤔💭🧠
did he pretend to work
while possibly, actually going to go—
fuck a fiduciary?

🚩 red flag #1:
new “female homie” AFTER marriage

this wasn't a friend he forgot to mention.
this was a ugly-ass pipeline.
opened post-vows.
while you were fucking pregnant.

you didn't get introduced.
you got fucking triangulated.
and babe?
she loved that.

🚩 red flag #2:
emotional office bestie > actual wife

she was the one
he communicated with
when you were falling apart.
she got the texts.
the phone calls.
the job offers for him—
the fucking strategy convos.

you got
the cold shoulder
the stress
the fucking bruises.

🚩 red flag #3:
removed after the estrangement

nah,
if she were
truly innocent,
then why the fuck
would she have
needed fucking removing?
she would've
stayed on as a rep,
(or at least,
left a goddamn
contact number lmfao)
not exited stage fucking left
like a guilty bitch
dodging fucking subpoenas.

🚩 red flag #4:
constant contact, no fucking boundaries

babe,
this wasn’t “hey, did you submit that form” vibes.
this was FaceTime during contractions energy.
this was private money-fucking-sending,
newborn-insurance-enrolling,
creepy-voice-on-the-other-line intimacy.
girlie,
she wanted your husband.
she wanted your life.

aka:
third wife energy.
side chick with paperwork access.
postpartum predator vibes.

🚩 red flag #5:
constant fucking bullshit

yo,
the shit—
this company,
this sneaky ass chick,
and this dude,
normalized.
is fucking insane.
nah,
she shouldn’t be sending
your goddamn husband
constant private venmos
as his coworker,
nah.
she should
stop fucking calling him,
and fucking texting him,
📱🤫💌
especially once,
she was no longer
even his fucking colleague,
because it’s disrespectful as fuck
and goddamn pathetic.
and the whole goddamn office
knows who the fuck
you are.

in fact,
you’re a fucking client. 🤠🐍💲

so yeah.
fuck.

🚩🚩🚩🚩

the biggest red flag?
🐊🤱✨
you knew.
in your stomach.
in your bones.
every time he left the house at 7am
to “go to work”
everytime,
he mentioned that bitch, 👹
for no fucking reason,
way too fucking long
after he left
the fucking firm—
everytime,
you lay bleeding,
broke,
and holding everything
all fucking alone.

yeah babe, you knew.
you were just fucking gaslit.

✶ final sloppy scorecard: ✨🔥🩷🤝🐍💰💳🚨

🚨 no fam policies created while he actively worked at the firm
🚨 no bills in his own wallet or in his own name
🚨 no onboarding besides—offering your husband:
private meetings with her daddy. 🤝🐍💰
🚨 no job records to verify; complete financial abandonment
🤫 full control of every policy you paid for,
despite zero contact with the office and you,
actually being the one who had a job and gave birth.
🤫 secret office bestie handling your family accounts
without even giving you her fucking phone number, lol.
🤫 gross/weird sexual tension, financial lies, triangulation,
…and emotional betrayal on fucking god mode. 💸🏃‍♂️

that’s not love.
that’s not friendship.
that’s not professionalism.
😈🥸💰💨

yo.
it’s so disturbing
that a financial specialist,
🐍💵💨
aka: this weirdo chick
got off on your husband
abusing you,
like, babe—
she ate that shit up,
she loved that you couldn’t
enforce fucking boundaries—
because your husband?
was violent.
lmfao.

💔🔪🤫🔐💬

damn dude.

they fuck?
does it even matter?
when you’re
🔇 ✨ that soul-suckingly desperate to be chosen.

baby,
you didn’t get paranoid.
you got played
by a fucking dumbass.

and babe —
you didn’t get left for
a better woman. 🧌🧟‍♀️♀️
you got left for
a glorified admin
with bad skin,
bad hair,
sad outfits,
and a moral compass 🐍🤝🐍
set to “whichever way the below-average dick blows.”

✨zero ethics. zero originality. zero regulation.✨

bro—ew.
this man would
sprint head-fucking-first
into a burning dumpster
if someone taped a $20 bill
and a compliment to the side.
🤥💸🏃

(for real though,
why aren’t
these bitches
ever 😦
not 😦
an embarrassing level
of full fucking downgrade)

😦🧌💥😦🧌💥😦🧌💥

so…
✶ did they fuck? ✶
like—was this an actual
full-on-gross-ass affair?

💖💥✨
legally?
might as well have.
because babe?
consequences =
the fucking same.

💖💥✨
physically?
no fucking idea.
but if they didn’t?
that makes it MAD creepy
and honestly worse.
because it means
she did all that
the stalking,
the backdoor onboarding,
the policy sabotage,
the fake-ass professional act,
the silence—
while you said
out loud
where she watched:
he strangled and punched you pregnant—
(insert multiple photos
for evidence
on the private fucking account
you stalked daily,
watching the shitshow
while i filed for
fucking protective orders)
without even getting dicked down?

lol.
like,
just vibes and venmo? 🤫💸🤷‍♀️🧌♀️

bro—

🚨obsessed—
delusional—
dangerous levels of
“i wanna be the wife”
alert 🚨

lmfao.

…

jesus christ. 🚨👀🤔

imagine ✨🫂🤷‍♀️
desecrating a
postpartum woman’s financial future
just to prove
to a mediocre felon
that you’re a loyal bitch.

imagine ✨🫂🤷‍♀️
aligning your career,
your silence,
your professional ethics,
your entire licensure
around a man
who couldn’t even keep a job
his wife paid for.

(yo, lol)

this wasn’t a love story.
this was
a hostile fucking takeover.

❤️‍🔥💥

by an office troll, 🧌♀️
who really wanted
a sorta-attractive—
baby on the way,
full-on-fucking
married dude 🤗💕
to like…
lol—
give her
just—
a little bit of attention.

🥹💖✨

and sweetie?
you survived it.

fucking barely.

🧌♀️💖🔥🫶🏻

✶