summer 2023 — onboarding, pregnancy, and the “family” pitch
→ he gets recruited into the denver office of a national financial firm
→ i’m invited along—as his visibly pregnant new wife
→ at the time, i’m in law school. also working two jobs. also sick every day.

the pitch:
• his gi bill will cover my tuition
• commissions and bonuses will kick in fast
• short-term financial strain will equal long-term stability
• it’s reasonable to sponsor his licensing, travel to conferences, policies, and entire career until he stabilizes—this is how families win

i was told this was safe.
like—reasonable.

summer 2023 — advisor cohort + immediate red flags
→ he’s placed in a training class, ranked #2
→ #1 is a woman he bonds with immediately
→ he’s a social climbing goblin and told me she had legacy money
→ he starts spending extra time with her so they can “network” at ivy league alumni events—because obviously that’s more important than prenatal appointments (he went to one)
→ internally, they’re nicknamed “sheriff & deputy”
→ daily calls, constant private facetimes, strategic chats and texts at all hours
→ eventually, she’s assigned to our household as our financial representative—because apparently that’s normal and no one’s heard of boundaries or ethics

meanwhile—
→ he starts closing doors behind him when she calls
→ they “strategize” while i’m cleaning houses into my second trimester.
→ the firm frames it all as motivation. team bonding. nothing to see.
→ he insists on going into the office daily, despite having no income, no functional vehicle, and no business necessity—leaving me, increasingly pregnant, alone at home with 200-lb of dogs i physically couldn’t manage and a household i was already singlehandedly funding

late summer – fall 2023 — escalation at home, silence at work
→ at home: the violence begins
 first restraints and smothering.
 eventually advancing to full manual strangulation.
→ he gets colder,
 disappears for hours running unnecessary errands,
 constantly leaves me alone, insanely sick, and broke.
→ i’m paying for:
 • his car
 • his onboarding
 • his living expenses
 • my living expenses
 • all related expenses for his untrained 140-lb dog
 • funded fun trips, visits to his family, expensive gifts & wedding presents
→ he earns nothing. contributes his disability $$.
 spends it before it hits the account.
→ starts covertly stealing money off my credit card. zero explanation.
→ she’s still orbiting. still watching. still texting.
→ now she starts sending PING venmo!

dec, 2023 — partner leaves firm
→ we’re so broke, it actually hurts.
→ he’s made almost zero income.
→ i start hearing that his office besties is sending cash “just to help”
→ can’t question it. can’t look at his phone.
→ babe, i don’t even know the passcode to my legal husband’s device.

jan 12, 2024 — policy setup + attempted normalcy
→ office bestie is assigned as my financial representative.
→ i’m like, fine…cool. y’all trust her and i’m getting my ass beat so, ok.
→ he’s no longer at the firm. she’s still in constant contact.
→ i receive the docusigns and medical questionnaire for the policies
→ i sign for myself—and my daughter. looped in for my husband’s policy.
→ i’m his beneficiary, so fuck it, this is important for all of us.
→ representative confirms she’s running “premiums for both of you”
→ they’re all linked to auto-draft out of my account.

late jan 2024 — assault, venmo, newborn, “auntie” content
→ i’m beaten severely days before giving birth.
→ i go to the er with head trauma; can’t feel my baby moving.
→ 24 hours later:
 • she sends him a venmo (car emoji)
 • he sends me $100 lol. ok.

→ she visits our house right after the birth of our child.
→ she posts up with our baby like she’s family.
→ still our financial representative.
→ still has access to our file.
→ she’s following me on my socials.
→ i dm her to talk about transfering my whole ass ira. LMFAO.
→ she’s sending random funds for reasons that don’t make sense.
 • “oh it’s for a client i gave her.”
 • “oh, she just wants to help us.”
 • “oh, she knows i totaled your car, so…here.”

[lol. ok. honestly, she always pissed me off.
but i just assumed she was pathetic.
and my husband was violent.
so i let it go.]

feb – oct 2024 — survival mode, silent sabotage
→ we relocate with our newborn for safety;
 • the violence got so bad, i knew he would kill me.
 • i run so that at least someone can be a witness, if i die.
→ continue paying all three policies while he flounders. hopping jobs.
→ spent thousands rebuilding my totaled vehicle. shipping it. for him.
→ we try to make things normal. forget what happened.
→ it works for a second. until it doesn’t.
→ he stops engaging when i stop funding. grows distant.
→ still communicating with his office bestie aka my financial rep.
→ she’s offering him job opportunities with daddy in nyc
→ she’s encouraging him to have meetings with her family
→ she’s telling him how much she “loves how much i post the baby”
→ she completely fails to respond to any of my financial inquiries.
→ she’s my rep. but only contacts my husband. still. constantly.
→ even my family starts to think “that’s weird, huh?”
→ but again, never allowed to see this man’s phone. not once. not ever.

i can only assume,
she loved that.
because what other wife,
would be cool,
with this shit???
babe—one that is a hostage of violence and coercion.

october 2024 — he disappears. they keep drafting.
→ he exits the household completely. like—doesn’t even say goodbye
→ i lock my social media despite using it to make money
→ i pursue a restraining order
→ my financial rep keeps watching under her real name
→ i disclose online:
 • severe levels of domestic violence
 • permanent restraining order
 • economic abandonment
→ she watches every single disclosure.

→ i’m like—whatever, she’s neutral. like fuck, she’s my fucking fiduciary.
→ i really think; she would fucking never.

meanwhile no one tells me, but at some point:
• i’ve been removed as beneficiary
• i’ve lost ownership of my daughter’s policy
• my rep has recused herself from my account due to what is described as an “awkward” relationship with my legal spouse.
• she’s left the firm.
• she’s left the state.
• lol!
• and she’s still actively stalking you daily (!!!!!!)
• constantly—the whole time
• you’re disclosing obtaining protective orders
• financial abandonment.

• would have fucking never—if i knew she was the fucking op.
• maybe actively still in contact with my abuser?
• what…the actual fuck???

months later:
→ i learn it’s not an accident, it’s not just a mistake,
→ babe—i’ve been erased from both policies
→ zero explanation, besides, sweetie—they were never yours.
→ zero notification that one lapsed, one changed beneficiary.

march 2025 — the “awkward” reveal
→ i meet up with a random new rep because lol, i’m responsible.
→ ask where my original rep is, aka my husband’s office bestie.
 because duh, i’m still clueless y’all!
→ new advisor casually says:
 “oh yeah, she got removed... it was awkward with your husband”
→ i process silently; being like what…the fuck…did she just say?
→ she adds: my estranged mess is completely unresponsive.
→ but somehow; “he must have changed the policy”
 like, “idk, i honestly thought it was you! lol!”
→ like, what? babe? him? or him and MY FUCKING FIDUCIARY?
→ public record says my rep left the state, quit her job, quit her fucking life…the month after my partner and i estranged.

awkward is...
a word for it.

but naaaaaaah.

→ they confirm:
• i am no longer on his policy. lol, “we don’t know what happened”
• my daughter’s policy was voided; lapsed. whatever.

→ no refund. no remedy. no notice.

[i am still being fucking chill, agree to RESTART minor child’s policy]

estimated: may 2025 — drowning, disclosures, and “hostile”

→ i am actively trying to restart my child’s policy—the same policy i already signed and funded in full when she was born.

→ to restart the policy:
 • refill out everything
 • resubmit every medical detail
 • get 30+ email blasts for notifications
 • phone calls, texts, emails. ping ping ping
 • already lost any equity;
and was paying for my husband’s
while he removed me as the beneficiary. LOL
already begging for him to venmo me back for basics.
…
 • i’m like yooooooo, seriously i’m already drowning.

→ this is after:
 • two cross-country relocations
• wiping out life savings—twice.
 • losing access to policies without explanation

***disclosing financial abandonment by their former rep, a protection order, non-payment of court-ordered child support, and zero contact with our minor child for months.

 • my rep. steps in—to speed up the process.

→ i disclose:
 • that i’m on food stamps
 • that he’s not paying any child support & left me with all the bills
 • that i’m recovering from abuse
 • that i’m overwhelmed by this entire process
  • that i’ve had to change my child’s insurance and doctors 3x
 • that i am actively in crisis

→ i tell the new rep— who had previously offered help, kindness, even babysitting—how exhausted and overcome i am.

→ her response:

“i don’t know when this became hostile.”

→ no offer to assist. no validation. no empathy. just that.

→ and let’s be honest:
 who speaks to a DV-protected single mom, on food stamps, trying to access her child’s insurance policy like that?
✓ when the person put her in this position, was a former co-worker?
✓ when you’re still being chill?
✓ when they’ve already disclosed (her personally, shit) an undocumented conflict of interest with your legal husband while you were filing protective orders?

→ unless someone told her i was crazy.

→ unless there was already a story about me—circulating.

→ unless my file came with a co-worker warning.

(but, hey—this is all speculation; they could just treat every client like shit)

but…now i’m pissed.

june – july 2025 — 40+ pages of documentation, zero response
→ i submit:
 • er records
 • restraining order
 • venmo payment screenshots
 • showcase the constant stalking
 • onboarding docs
 • literally more evidence of misconduct than you would need in fucking court.
 • repeatedly inquire about the awkward relationship
  and if i need to protect myself from…
  my financial rep…as well?
  bro wtf?

→ firm responds:
“please call customer service”

so i:

→ issue a preservation notice
→ continue to press the “conflict of interest”
→ continue to plead for transparency. for our fucking safety.
→ no emergency alerts. no conflict updates. nothing.
→ i file a whistleblower report with the sec

july 2025 —
→ shit gets fucking wild.

coming soon.

y’all don’t get to call that awkward.
you get to call that actionable.