🚩 holy shit: a fucking case study in covert girlpower® sabotage 🚩

fuck it.

since it’s a…
burn book
+
i’m in the goddamn
trenches of the fucking $30 an hour
childcare reliability + sunk cost desert—

here it is…the
🚩 holy shit: a fucking case study in covert girlpower® sabotage 🚩

the girlpower® exchange setup:

✱ accepted a paid role plus a 500-hr ytt trade.
✱ took a two-week break mid-semester. (fine, conveyed in advance)
✱ then canceled the third week: morning-of class during midterms.
✱ essentially—missed a (roughly $750 per pop) crim law class
~due to lack of last-minute sitter.
✱ tried to pop back in next day; like it was a vibe—
but had literally just claimed she was
“too sick, day prior.”

bro,
and i already scrambled to find back up…again?

…

(girl, what?????)

...but…
i’m also…
paying you???
and trading hours??
while i can’t even do homework??
+ your hours keep
getting smaller??

okie dokie, queen. 👑

but,
nah babe.
the only thing contagious
is your intentional inconsistency.

she knew—
sunday was a dv-related gun range cert.
she was told:
show up by 7:30.
(didn’t arrive on time)
because i gotta leave by 8.
talked to me while i panic
to getting ready in ~10 minutes.
range? over a fucking hour away.
she mentions casually as
i’m walking out the door,
fucking late
—can you be back “early afternoon?”
yo, what????
i mean i’ll try??? and i did.
stakes? legal. safety. survivor. court-recognized.

baby girl—
this wasn’t just “babysitting.”
this was don’t fuck this up level crucial.

but guess what?
she claimed—
she thought i would “be back by noon”
meaning ~2 hours at the range
+ 2 hours of driving,
lmfao.

despite:
✨ never being told that
✨ having seen firsthand how long a range day is
✨ being fully briefed on the course, the dv context, the court case, all of it

then
texted repeatedly
knowing it was mid-
qualifying fucking round.
final hour.
the actual make-or-break part of the day.
and if i had seen those texts?
yo,
i might’ve failed.
i definitely would have left;
after two days—
15 hours of this course down
in one weekend—
35 fucking minutes early.
an hour away.

so…
you accepted a paid role during midterms
🚩 canceled on the actual day of the class; so i couldn’t secure backup
🚩 then when she finally showed up,
🚩 she showed up ~15 minutes late so i was therefore…late to class.
which…made everyone in class wait, for me…
including a disabled student who attended with a driver.
🚩 so i offered student a ride back.
🚩 but, paid babysitter then rushed me
—over an arbitrary “i have to be back at 2 not 3”
🚩 that 35 minutes of pressure forced me to:

✱ keep the guy with you longer
✱ bring him closer to your home
✱ bypass your own already raised internal alarms
✱ and now you’re dealing with a situation you never wanted

and what was the actual reason?
fucking baking.

yo.
that’s not caregiving.
that’s fucking chaos posing as community.

babe.

i said i’d try to be back by 2ish.
at your last minute request—
updated via text multiple times,
explaining i was in
the fucking qualifying round—
and couldn’t leave early.
got back at 2:34pm.
and…
you’re getting paid?
bro,
are you ok???

the excuse?

“had to get stuff done at the kitchen.”
for her…self-scheduled self-employed gig.
this girl was being paid
for the whole day
and risked the whole plan
over a fucking croissant.

→ net result?
aka the real cost:

girlie nearly tanked
a thousand-dollar cert
a survivor’s legal safety strategy
and made me scramble again
because—
she couldn’t hold it down for 35 extra minutes???

babe,
i made a high-stakes,
high-cost safety investment
in my own survival (the course)
i was forced to reroute that plan
because i could not find child care—
and then,
when i finally secure it,
her plans still took priority over mine.
this isn’t just annoying—
this is how unsafe dynamics get seeded.
not because i’m reckless—
but because someone else’s unreliability
backed me into a fucking corner.

babe,
this wasn’t miscommunication.
this was fucking sabotage.
masked as mindfulness.
wrapped in gluten-free fucking feminism.

girlie liked the look
of helping a domestic violence survivor
until the survivor started…
winning?

ok. nah.

this version of me??

i just…
🧍🏼‍♀️cut. her. off.

because nah,
i don’t owe patience
to people who choose to endanger me
and my fucking child.