is the “no securities” in the room with us? ✨👻

the inducement, the supervisor, and the plug:
the holy fucking trinity of FINRA-triggering degeneracy✨

—

✨👻👻👻✨

(finra, boo)

once upon a securities violation..

📍 chapter 1:
the bro-energy recruiter
aka the man who walked into our lives
with a linkedin profile and a fucking god complex

my dude
kicked this shit off
like a straight-up mlm recruiter
with an expired fucking finra license.
yo.
he wasn’t offering insurance.
he was offering a fucking vision.

🔥 “we help families like yours build long-term wealth.”
🔥 ”blah, blah, blah…lies and garbage”
🔥 “we’re more than life insurance. we’re holistic fucking planners.”
🔥 “you can invest through us. you can build with us. your husband would be great here.”

uh-ohhhh.
sounds familiar, team?
because that’s not
a casual product pitch.
naaaaah.
that’s a
solicitation for financial advisory services
while positioning
the fucking expecting spouse
as the delivery pipeline.

shit
and you know
what that triggers? 💋

✦ finra 2210 – communications with the public.
✦ reg BI – best interest standard (even in exploratory pitches).
✦ sec rule 10b-5 – fraud by omission (casually forgetting to fucking mention
“your whole team’s potentially a fucking coke ring and one side chick away
from goddamn indictment”).

babe.
you baited the hook.
next up,
you fucking financial geniuses—

—

📍 chapter 2:
adult-toddler mean-energy
with “supervisor” on her nametag

aka “let’s go over your full portfolio. mortgage.
tuition. ira. llcs. monthly spend.
what you got. what he got.
where you’re weak. where we can grow.”

…

yeah,
already you’re fucked.
clearly.

july 2023.
i’m sitting outside.
pregnant. in georgia.
on my mother-in-law’s balcony—
this disgrunted toddler fronting as a financial advisor
opens the laptop and runs a full fucking financial colonoscopy.

🧾 she collects:
(and makes a little table!)

🔥 mortgage info
🔥 my business monthly income
🔥 car payments & insurance (paid off)
🔥 tuition plan + account options
🔥 full monthly financial breakdown
🔥 my prudential IRA

🔥 …my husband’s debt + broke ass

okie doke.

then she goes:

💀 “you should put your tuition money into an account that grows”
💀 “you can consolidate your IRA under our firm”
💀 “have you thought about an umbrella policy?”

…just to name a fucking few
off the top of my goddamn head.

sweetie,
this isn’t ✨casual convo. ✨
this is investment advice.
i ain’t giving this info to
a fucking
inexperienced, conflicted—
petty-ass opponent??
babe,
nah.
she’s positioning securities.
recommending accounts.
BRO.
asking income variables for my various LLCs.
laying out suitability-based strategies.

wait…
and this shit…
wasn’t professional??
we were just
fucking chatting?

ok…

nope.

news to fucking me, bro.

and all while
supervising my husband—
who she knows is
unlicensed,
broke,
and fucking spiraling—

while treating me like
the live-in fucking
rush-night sponsor??

bro.

are you shitting me?

⚠️ triggered:

✦ finra 2111 – suitability rule
✦ finra 2090 – know your customer
✦ reg BI – undisclosed conflicts, rep-as-husband model
✦ finra 3270/3280 – outside business activity + private securities transactions
✦ finra 3110 – supervisory responsibilities
✦ sec 17a-4 – where’s the porch recording, troll???

and let’s be petty and add:

✦ sec regulation S-P–
hey girlies—
you don’t get to use
my fucking medical and financial data
for rep dumbass recruitment

sweetie,
you didn’t just violate compliance.
powertrip money rep was over here
designing a pipeline
with actual and direct knowledge—
for financial and reproductive fucking sabotage.
and then handed it off to—

🔥🔥🔥🔥

—

📍 chapter 3:
the goddamn plug / a chick obsessed with my husband

aka the advisor who initiated my baby’s life policy
while maybe fucking my husband and deleting securities DMs

january 2024.
goblin is assigned to my file.
obviously,
i get no onboarding. no disclosures. no meetings.
she just wants my private medical data, y’all!

so i get:

🔥 instagram DMs (off-channel)
🔥 policy initiation comms & e-signs initiated for me, my husband, and my newborn
🔥 she handles my baby’s life insurance
🔥 she agrees to roll over my IRA
🔥 she keeps communicating privately with my husband
🔥 i get ghosted postpartum

lol.
and when i
send a litigation hold?
lmfao,
she deletes the account.
wipes all records of contact.
and disappears
like the fake fucking fiduciary she is.

⚠️ triggered:

✦ finra 4511 + sec 17a-4 – record retention
✦ finra 2090 – goblin never onboarded the actual client (me)
✦ finra 3110 – who supervised this shit??
✦ reg BI – catastrophic undisclosed conflict + personal relationship
✦ finra 2010 – you don’t get to maybe fuel up the husband and initiate the wife’s IRA
✦ reg S-P – handling client medical files while
probably seeing my spouse trading my scripts is not privacy compliant, goblin.
✦ spoliation – deletion after hold / unrecorded comms = fucking panic button for court

—

🪦✨

conclusion:
the fucking financial trifecta

nah.
this wasn’t “oversight.”
this was

✨ intentional inducement + concealment + record destruction✨

for the purpose of…
what looks like…
defrauding a pregnant woman while covering a coke problem?

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

congrats fam.

you’ve officially triggered
half the fucking finra manual,
a federal records audit,
and my goddamn litigation mixtape.

✨🖇️🔥