plot twist!!! you said “nah babe, let me HELP 😘”

Written By Samantha Lee Lowe

bro.
i genuinely thought
i was gonna need:
a legal war room,
a notary,
three affidavits,
and jesus christ himself
to prove you were a
lying,
cheating,
broke,
fraudulent,
coked-out piece of shit.

lol.

but u said
”nah sweetheart
i fucking got this…
literally hold my fucking beer”—

like damn ok!!!
post the crimes! tag me next time!

…

stalking/harassing my legal wife? unquestionably check.
habitual cheating? duh, check.
shameless lying? check.
repeated fraud? fucking check.
and sobriety? lmfao. nope.

bro really said:
✨ here’s me cheating with bravado
✨ here’s me defrauding my child’s social security number
✨ here’s me looking like a bloated baked bean in texas
✨ here’s me… wasted again, after court-ordered sobriety

homie gave
full fucking confessionals
like it was a goddamn vlog series

“day 46 of violating bond and day 375 abandoning my child 🥰”

?????

so…
this deadbeat dad,
with all seriousness—
was like
NOPE;


“babe 🥺 i’ll prove it myself. repeatedly. in public. with photos.”

like damn.
i was prepping for trial
and you handed me
five fucking social accounts labeled “evidence 🫶.”

…

so thank u, babe.
ur my favorite co-counsel.

xoxo

🥲🖤📉

Samantha Lee Lowe

sammie lowe is a single mom, law student, and founder of bodhi cleaning co.—an ethical, femme-forward cleaning collective rooted in fairness, ritual, and rage. born from survival and built with purpose, her work redefines what it means to clean house—physically, emotionally, and systemically. she blends practicality with a little bit of magic, runs on justice and white vinegar, and believes that women shouldn’t have to choose between making money and making meaning. this isn’t a side hustle. it’s a standard.

http://sammielowe.com/
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