jesus was not the problem. he was just misquoted.

let’s be for real—

i didn’t walk away from god.
i just couldn’t find him
between the homophobia
megachurches turning profit
and savage rewrites
of their own main text.

honestly, i was like nah.
whole thing seems like bullshit
doesn’t make any sense.

because—

i didn’t grow up christian.
i grew up nothing.
no bible.
no sunday school.
no dramatic baptisms.

first time i went to church,
they told me i couldn’t eat the bread.
said it was catholic.
said i had to sit alone.
i was eight.
i thought the whole point was sharing.

wtf are we doing here?

second time?
golf trip announcements.

third?
“jesus saves”
dropped mid-barbecue flyer
but like,
yo
i remember thinking—
wait, didn’t jesus say feed people?
did he say fuck it—
just enjoy this shit?
was that in corinthians?

cause y’all got the audacity
to lecture me on taking the lord’s name in vain—
but bro.
you and jesus had wildly different priorities.
trust.

from where i stood?
shit looked delusional.

and worse—
the vibes were weaponized.

because bro,
let’s be completely honest

some of y’all use scripture
to shame girls for surviving.
to kick out queer kids.
to justify cruelty.
to vote red like jesus had a tax policy.

but baby, it does not say that.

i watched a whole subplot around abortion
that simply,
doesn’t fucking exist in the original plot.
they’re out here
blessing war,
teaching fear,
serving shame
with a side of superiority
for their bullshit.

but here’s the plot twist:

some women made me believe again.
not in the church.
but in the point.

first: my grandma.
chain-smoking til the fucking end.
used-to-be-a-gambling-addict.
maybe still was?
this bitch could
beat your ass and then cook you dinner.
5-foot-nothing,
nerves of steel.
she said she loved jesus,
but she never used it to look down.
never preached, never positioned.

she just took me to food banks.
coat drives.
anywhere someone needed help.
that was her idea of god.

she didn’t talk about jesus.
she acted like him.

next: a girl i’ve known since the swingset.
four kids.
different universe.
opposite politics.
but golden fucking heart.

when her family faced real darkness,
she said jesus carried them.
and even though i didn’t believe—
she carried me too.

no sermons.
no strings.
just care.
just consistency.

and that?
that felt holy.

so no—
maybe i don’t hate jesus.
maybe i hate the marketing team.
the merch.
the moral gymnastics.

maybe jesus was actually—
saying real shit.
you just misheard him.
maybe what he meant was
feed the people.
flip the tables.
love without leverage.

because the people
who made me believe again?
never quoted a single verse.

they just lived it.
and that saved me.

amen.
and fuck the rest.