every dude that pissed himself the second i asked for ammo 💀🔫

yo,
you wanna hear the
weakest male shit
ever?
the most pathetic
lack of “protect and provide”
natural instinct 🥊
recorded in modern history??

bro; buckle up.

🏳️‍🌈➡️🏃‍♂️

homie—
you wanna know why
i asked you to teach me how to shoot?
babe, i wasn’t trying to
✨ hang out and vibe ✨
nah bro.
i already clocked the cowardess.
you weren’t gonna protect shit.

so babe—
i asked
because the last time
i tried to protect myself
i picked up some
lesser-ass weapon—
like,
anything to keep this dude
from straight
kicking my ass
just something to maybe
make him pause.
and do you know what happened?

this man had me
on the fucking floor
instantly.
nine months fucking pregnant.
child fully formed inside of me.
ready to be born like now.
and i’m getting hit with
repetitive blows to the fucking head
and body !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
because i had the fucking audacity
to try and not die.

homie.
you know how mad a man has to be
to see a woman try to defend herself—
and fail—
and still take that
as a personal fucking insult?

baby—
that wasn’t a fight.
that was a message.
that was
“i will fucking kill you”

lol.
yo.
wanna laugh?
i was full chillin with
a fucking marine
🪖🦅🇺🇸
and told him
some sanitized
pg-13 version
of my personal true crime story
babe—
dude blinks twice, goes:

“shit… hope i’m not here when that fucker shows up.”

😭😭😭

bro you stormed deserts for democracy
but my ex is where you draw the line?
copy that, dawg.

🥇 y’all are fucking pussies. 🥇

what about my dad?
you’d think, okay,
biological father,
protector, right?
nah homie.
this man weaponized my vulnerability
and turned it into some
incest-adjacent horror film.
like i’m literally running for my life
and he’s looking at me like a fucking target.
insanity.
lol.
brother??
my own blood??
nah.
he’s too busy doing shots
and flexing on golf trips
🥃⛳💸
while i’m out here with my toddler
rationing fruit snacks and reinforcing doors.

man shit?
baby—
i was fighting at 8.
fighting at 9 months pregnant.
when did the dick—
leave your fucking bodies?
💅💅💅

so yeah.
fast forward.
i survive.
barely.

men are nowhere to be found.
no dad.
no brother.
no secret side quest.
definitely no husband.
and then—
there’s this fucking dude.

💀🔫

mr. “i’ll always protect you.”
mr. “lock your doors.”
mr. “let’s start a family.”

baby—
you were just up in me,
like,
last week
talking about feelings and loyalty
and i’m thinkin, ok.
at the bare minimum
you’ll teach me
how to fucking shoot.

but lol
nah.
you hit me with
that emotional baby shit.
🙏🪦

lmfao.
because god forbid
you act like a fucking man.

one fucking time.

hey—
i mean this:
y’all are little fucking bitches.

like couldn’t protect shit.
from a fucking butterfly invasion.
🦋 🦋 🦋

(i’m deadass)

like bro.
i wasn’t trying to drag you into war.
i was trying to not end up in a casket.
maybe keep my kid alive?
and you somehow made that about you?
bro.
fucking spare me.

you weren’t emasculated.
you were just asked to be useful.

sir.
seriously—
are you stupid
or just deeply fucking unserious?

like.
you think i was gonna lean on you?
bro i asked for technical support.
load.
aim.
click.
not therapy.
not loyalty.
not even fucking presence.
just one tiny sliver of
masculine utility.
and you fumbled that???

jesus fucking christ.

yo.
i just asked
for you to…
fucking have a dick.
bro.
to grow some unemotional
non-victim-bullshit
BALLS.

LOL.

yo.
for the love of god.
don’t ever talk to me about
“protector energy”
“real men”
“provider mentality”
LMFAO.
when i asked one thing
after getting my skull
nearly caved in while carrying a child—
and y’all threw a fucking fit
because the vibes were no longer flirty.
💀💀💀

bravo.
you got out-manned
by a single mom with a diaper bag
and a complex trauma history.
do you feel strong now?

babe—
that shit was pathetic.
you ain’t scary.
you’re just another
soft-ass disappointment
in a long-ass line
of weak-ass men
who couldn't even show up
when the bare minimum
was life or death.

but congrats.
at least you proved something:
y’all don’t want women to survive.
you want us to need you.
and when we do?
y’all run and hide.

🏃‍♂️💨

i present y’all
with the honorary:

🏆 weakest bitches alive award 🏆

fucking unbelievable.

no worries,
i’ll get my stage-4
halfway-to-death
old-ass-bestie
to teach me
before…he dies.

thanks ladies.
good work.

👸👸👸👸

👏👏👏
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