✶ in defense of the bag ✶

why onlyfans is the moral apex of capitalism
(peer-reviewed by zero fucks given, written by samantha lee lowe)
m.b.a. = mommy. baddie. academic.

abstract (aka the slap):

• capitalism’s been robbing women blind.

• onlyfans is the first time we sent an invoice.

• moral panic? hold my drink.

babe. it’s a bill. pay up or shut the fuck up.
your righteous outrage = disguised jealousy & client entitlement

thesis (the main shit):

every “respectable” job demands women’s:
• fake smiles
• emotional babysitting
• invisible submission

onlyfans is just the first platform that demands:

“consume my content? pay me directly, asshole.”

the panic? not the nudity,
it’s losing control of the cash flow

exhibit a (corpo hypocrisy decimated):

1. 92% of exec assistants are women.

2. women are evaluated more on vibes than productivity

3. service jobs demand girly labor for $12/hr.

your boy dave’s paycheck depends on your compliance
but god forbid a woman sets the price on her own pussy
sit the fuck down.

exhibit b (emotional labor = free sex work):

• you want your boss’s “work wife.”

• you want your hot-bartender-therapist.

• you want your baddie assistant to take the abuse

  all unpaid, all expected
  onlyfans creators?
  boundaries up front
  paywall mandatory
  block button loaded
  capitalism with a spine, bitch.

exhibit c (it’s sovereignty, stupid):

sex sells, but autonomy fucks with patriarchy
you jerk off in private and clown women in public
that’s not sex-shame, it’s autonomy-shame
you’re mad girlies cash the checks on your fantasies
you’re the client, the user, the thief
bro, take your broke ass somewhere else

exhibit d (whole economy is a whore-house):

• teachers financing classrooms with second jobs.

• nurses assaulted, underpaid.

• warehouse workers piss in bottles

• single moms = fucked

and we argue what is degrading?

onlyfans is the cleanest transaction in the building.
quit crying, recognize the bag

appendix: jesus, would def be down:

• he ran with sex workers, not bankers, babe.

• he flipped tables at exploiters.

• he never said “cover up.”

he’d tip heavy and roast the pimps
so bitch, shut the fuck up about sin
baby, call out the real monsters

conclusion (mic drop):

onlyfans isn’t immoral.

what’s immoral:

• demanding free access.

• moralizing labor while underpaying women.

• punishing autonomy.

babe.

they’re not ashamed.

they’re not sorry.

they’re not confused.

you are.

✶ shame archives locked.
✶ pay up or look away.