the fudiciary and the likely felon: let’s “circle back” 🙃🔁✨🌈🕊️
yo.
for those of you wondering
what the fuck is going on—
✨i’m a little bit—angry, y’all✨
✶
here’s a quick lil synopsis:
my husband got recruited
by some mid-level financial firm
i was brought in-office,
given the pep talk—
support him ($$),
this will totally be worth it!
while i was visibly preggo,
working multiple jobs,
cleaning houses,
and draining my life savings
because apparently this was a team sport.
sound like?
if one party reasonably relied
on a promise to their detriment…
hmmmmm.
YO.
worst financial decision
of.
my.
life.
he drained it all,
left me with the debt—
but the extra fun—
litigious part?
turns out
there was a chick at the firm
who got
so awkwardly close to him
that even his coworkers
thought it was sus—
like so sus—
the felt fucking brazen enough
to lmk my girl had to be
removed from my account,
post-protective-order,
cuz “lol, it’s awkward”
✨🌈🕊️
l o l.
babe…when tho?
cuz like—
when she was my rep?
or when she was his co-worker?
or both?
cuz like—
not awkward enough
for y’all…to say anything
like yo—
bitch, could you
divulge anything legally relevant?
jesus christ.
like—do you not
have a fucking duty…???
to be like…
🔉🔉 hey girl— (!!!)
this man is playing you, (!!!)
stop financially
fucking yourself. (!!!)
or maybe (!)
toss out a formal
fucking disclosure or two.
the fuck???????
fun fact:
as their relationship
got increasingly weird,
so did his late-night “errands,”
the door closing when she facetimed,
and hey, what do you know—
the FUCKING severity
of me getting
my FUCKING ass kicked.
i mean,
ping ping PING,
and suddenly
lol—
📲🔁🥊💥
it’s tackling,
smothering,
strangling,
full-blown
punch-to-the-head vibes,
flat on my back,
nine months pregnant.
🤰🥊💥
y’all saw
nothing
weird, tho?
🚩🚩🚩
hmmmmm.
just another day at the office,
i guess. 🕊️🕊️🕊️
then,
january 2024,
days before i’m due.
and this chick
casually gets assigned as—
wait for it—🚩🚩
✨ my personal financial rep. ✨
because who
wouldn’t want
their husband’s
✨lil work-bestie✨
managing their accounts,
right?
💡 unclear—
i was purely worried about
staying alive✨🌈🕊️
at the above-described time.
🙃🙃🙃
and right after onboarding,
i mean like
days later,
less than
a fucking week—
i literally almost
lose my unborn kid
because 💥 violence escalated
right alongside
the FUCKING venmo pings
📲🤰🥊💥
she kept casually sliding him
with zero reasonable
explanation or context. 🥊 ✨
(besides maybe…
taking advantage
of my vulnerability?
while also my financial rep?
got it. ✨)
but again,
i guess no disclosures necessary,
team?
cool, cool, cool. 👏
i was just a hostage
🤰🤰🤰🥊 ✨
of a violent
and manipulative
nightmare 💀
but thanks for
potentially,
presumably,
possibly,
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
✨ aiding and fucking abetting ✨
the whole fucking operation—
and
😈 ✨ concievably,
fucking with my ability
to make sound decisions around:
→ my money,
→ my safety,
→ and my fucking life.
!!!!
→ oh and my kid’s fucking policy (!!!!)
→ all while assumably failing to disclose:
an ✨ acknowledged conflict of interest ✨
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
damn y’all.
like—
why did you gotta
potentially do me like that?
anyway.
fast forward
to when it finally hits
public record ✨
and my fucking
private socials✨—
that my husband’s an actual
violent abuser. 🤰🥊 ✨
…
with zero disclosure:
public record says—
✨within weeks,✨
miss fiduciary 👹💅
dips the fuck outta dodge
like she never fucking existed,
tells me nothing—
says nothing.
quits her job,
apartment,
whole fucking city—
bro—
leaves zero fucking trace—
besides my new rep
letting me know—
shit was awkward with
my legal husband.
💅🥴
lol!
awkward
like how policies
i was funding,
got fucked? ✨
or—
awkward like
her entire
undocumented
conflict of interest
while i fucking lost—
all 💀💀
financial stability
and almost—
my fucking life?! ✨
yooooooooo.
a fact that
that you still—
fail
to fucking disclose
in any
formal
capacity??
just vibes??
and lil “hostile” wife drops??
damn bro. 💀💀
but no worries— ✨
i’m still here
with my cute
✨ lil breach binder
that’s fat as fuck,
filled with receipts,
timestamps,
and records,
so unless
y’all got
a FUCKING wizard 🧙
to rewind reality,
i already got enough
👼 causes of action 👼
to light this firm up
like the fucking fourth of july
🧨🎪🃏🎉🎆
without even dipping
into discovery yet.
team,
besties,
fiduciaries:
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡
if this is just
the shit i casually know
without even trying???—
i promise discovery’s about to be
awkward af for y’all. 🍿
hope you got
good counsel,
because i’m
a lil upset.
🌈🕊️👸🔥
let’s gooooo.
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
✶
🌈🕊️👸💖✨ disclaimer: i am not a lawyer—
this is purely my personal, opinionated breakdown of events based on public records, internal communications, and my lived experience. nothing herein constitutes legal advice. all factual assertions are supported by documentation in my breach binder; any statements that aren’t proven fact are clearly presented as my own hot take.
