yo—where tf did my adderall go? ✨💊
(aka: when my adderall prescription just... vanishes; at large quantities)
yo. this is
a financial services mystery
nobody thought
i would fucking notice
but everyone
should be
potentially
fucking fired over
💊💊💊✨
let’s do some pharma math, babe.
back in 2022,
i did what any legally-minded,
trauma-certified baddie
would do—
documented that shit 💫
on my then-ex mistake
for straight-up
emptying my adderall script.
(not once, not twice—repeat offender,
like he’s
running a loyalty program
for the broke
and hyperactive.)
like…yo.
not a pill or two.
not even a “bad day” 5-pack.
nah.
30 fucking pills, gone.
in 48 hours.
repeatedly.
let’s set the scene:
originally?
grad school drop-out era
let’s be real
10, 20, 30 pills? 💊✨👻
my dude,
you would literally be dead 💀✨🕊️
if you were actually
taking all that.
so unless
you’re running
on undead warlock juice,
what tf were you doing?
🤡💊✨💸
oh wait—
maybe
you were in 🤑 business school
aka
the frat-adjacent
finance bootcamp
for socially anxious rich kids
and maybe 💸✨
budget coke dealers.
so yeah,
i put two and two together:
you were most probably:
flipping my adderall
to your cohort.
like some backwards
felon-adjacent
emotionally fucked MLM.
🗣 "hey bro, my girl’s got a script—
don’t worry, she won’t notice."
LOL
she did.
and then the bitchiest plot twist?
when you left school,
babe!
it got worse.
✍🏼✍🏼✍🏼
let’s run back,
his financial bro era: ✨
✘ coke “history” (lol) 💀
✘ broke as hell.
✘ private group chats lit 🔥
✘ suddenly— shit-ton of pills go missing. 💊✨👻
✘ timing? right before he kicks my ass
lol
babe!
like—
you weren’t even
pretending✨
to be in
finals season anymore,
and you were
STILL
raiding my shit
like a raccoon in a CVS??
every time
i forgot to lock it up?
poof.
gone.
another $$$
💊💊💊✨💸
double handful of
schedule ii stimulants,
mysteriously vanished
like your fucking moral compass.
but yo—
don’t fight him
he
might
fucking
strangle you.
✨💀
but babe—
you expect me
to believe
you were taking
ALL OF IT?
your 170 lb
finance-dude frame
just casually
popping
300 mg/day
for fun? 💀💀🏥
nah.
baby—
maybe…
looks like…
you had
a pipeline. ✨
i mean…yeah,
i’m not ✨ alleging ✨
he sold ‘em,
i’m just saying,
20–35 pills gone
in two days?
math says:
either you’re
the world’s most
functional fucking corpse,
🙏💀🪦℞
or you got ✨ clients,
my dude.
oh,
and his
little ✨ work girlfriend?
babe!
you seemed very energized 😳
for someone who “just wanted to help.” ✨🤤
how’s that potential—
adderall-powered moral flexibility treating you?
i’m not saying you took it.
i’m just saying
you spent
8 hours a day,
5 days a week,
with the man
who stole my medication nonstop
and probably?
wandered his gremlin ass
into an apartment 👹🚶♂️🗺️
✨ five minutes away
to “decompress.”
while he’s literally
putting me in
the fucking ✨ hospital.
babe—
you tell me.
did the pills
just disappear into the ether?
or were y’all
just really productive? 🙂🚩
but you know
what’s wild?
yo,
this wasn’t secret. 🚩
💊💊✨
there was:
✘ documented shit
✘ blatant fucking warning signs 🚩
✘ babe! this shit was mentioned in court filings✨
✘ yo—like: ✨mandated drug test for visitation
✘ countless text + email receipts
bro—
y’all just
neglected
to do any
fucking
✨ due diligence.
or maybe?
any
fucking
supervision.
🙏
again ✨
i’m not “accusing”
i’m just pointing out
how 1 + 1 + “yo did you take my adderall?” +
“nah babe, you must’ve lost it” +
mandated court drug testing =
the math is not mathing.
again.
i’m not alleging shit. 🕊️
i’m just pointing out that
your “heroic finance king”
was repeatedly stealing narcotics
from his wife
while actively abusing her,
and possibly?
handing them out like breath mints
at his firm’s morning huddle.
and for
✘ the compliance crew,
✘ the corporate risk girls,
✘ the senior bros
✘ and all the other 😶🌫️ little ops
reading this from your VPNS:
✨talk to legal.✨
because i’m not making threats.
i’m just saying:
✘ y’all never had control of this man.
and it shows. ✨
✍🏼✍🏼✍🏼
so my girlies!
try harder.
do better.
and maybe next time,
lock your fucking medicine cabinet.
🖐🏻💊✨℞
