💥 why wives getting their asses beat is the military’s 🪖🇺🇸 fucking problem.
not a vibe. not a one-off. a pattern.
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🧠fact: veterans are 2–3x more likely to commit intimate partner violence (IPV) than civilians.
→ that number jumps for combat vets, especially special forces or infantry-trained.
→ and no, it’s not because their wives are “crazy.” it’s because war breaks people.
🇺🇸 fact: the military tracks suicide and PTSD—but barely touches DV.
→ 1 in 3 female military spouses report abuse.
→ 1 in 4 military women experience sexual assault—by other servicemembers.
→ 40%+ of substantiated DV cases in the military result in no criminal charge or separation.
📉 fact: most bases prioritize optics over intervention.
→ commanders can ignore or “informally handle” DV complaints.
→ most survivors report retaliation or career damage when they report their abuser.
→ military court-martial for DV? rare. outcomes are: counseling, demotion, relocation. not accountability.
đź’° fact: VA + DoD benefits still flow to abusers post-separation.
→ restraining order? doesn’t stop the direct deposit.
→ dependent pay? gets pocketed while the survivor is left applying for food stamps.
→ DV charges? he can still access Tricare, GI Bill, and disability while financially choking out his wife.
→ military service is the only job in america where beating your wife doesn’t stop your paycheck.
🩸 fact: strangulation + pregnancy assault = lethality indicators.
→ DV victims are 750% more likely to be killed by their abuser if strangled once.
→ pregnancy abuse is one of the top predictors of homicide.
→ and both are common in combat vets w/ untreated trauma.
🕳 fact: “combat conditioning” overlaps with coercive control.
→ isolation? standard op.
→ surveillance? learned skill.
→ dehumanization? trained in that shit.
→ rage cycles? buried under “discipline.”
→ the man you trained for war is not harmless when he comes home.
📦 fact: the VA has a “domestic violence coordinator” in fucking theory.
→ most spouses never hear from them.
→ most DV survivors in military families don’t even know that’s a resource.
→ and if they do? they’re told: “go to the family advocate.” aka: the military’s HR for bruises.
⚖️ fact: the U.S. military is functionally exempt from the systems that hold civilians accountable.
→ no mandatory reporting.
→ no public records.
→ no fucking transparency.
→ and a thousand-page NDA culture where silence is loyalty and those who report are “unstable.”
đź’€ conclusion:
you created this.
you trained him.
you ignored the signs.
you paid them.
and when his wife ends up in cover,
with a baby and a fucking trauma file—
you still call him a soldier. 🪖
it’s not a domestic issue.
it’s fucking institutional.
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