the causation link i wrote in 4 minutes with crayon and one (1) brain cell left. 🧸🧃🧠💥
(aka: what do you mean, “how is this our fault?”)
✨⚖️🧾🫠
bro,
wait til i actually
give this some
serious thought—🧠💥
but
off the top of my head,
written in fucking crayon—
🥺👉👈🧸
(bro
they’re acting like—
they’re selling gummy bears.
and not fucking spousal-
death benefits) 🤷♀️🪦✨💀
okie doke.
the 💥 fucking obvious:
🔍 in any suspected
DV homicide or near-lethal case—
the first three questions
investigators ask are
babe—:
was there a life insurance policy?「✔」
who owned it?「✔」
who stood to benefit if the victim died?「✔」
(and then immediately?—
🥺✨…is this dude cheating?)
?「✔」
literally investigations 101 ✨
maybe✨—
this setup looks like
a murder-your-wife-for-profit scheme
because it functionally
allowed for one. ✨
now imagine 🥺✨
how that looks to a jury:
you put a woman
in a 🔥 clear DV-risk relationship:
🔥 in financial chokehold with her abuser,
🔥 under the guidance of a conflicted advisor,
🔥 with no clear disclosures,
🔥 and with death payouts flowing straight
to the highest likely murder suspect.
🤯✨
(pause,
truly—
envision it ✨
any human
sitting there:
visualizing ✨
this fucking scenario—
their spouse +
their financial rep =
death benefits
😑🪦✨
lol.
and being chill with it
happening to them
while you go
”no duty”
lmfao, sure) 💀🔫
💔🪦🤯✨
i don’t see them
buying the whole—
bro, we were
like really
geographically far, though.
so,
no supervision. lol. 🤷♀️🪦✨
so hi. yes.
i’m the dumb bitch ✨💖
who thought
a financial representative
was there to,
idk…
represent me financially?
🤷♀️✨💀
—
silly me.
i must have misunderstood
when y’all onboarded
my violently abusive husband,
and brought me—
the fuck in 🥺👉👈
right before you handed
his cubicle infidelity troll
my entire life file.
my b.
🫶🏼
—
what part of:
“you installed
a conflicted party
into my financial life
and then ran a death benefit op
in the background
during a literal
life insurance triangulation—
pregnancy murder arc”
is
confusing?
✨🍼🥺
like—
you actively recruited my husband,
you assigned me
his fucking coworking conflict 💥
as my financial rep,
you initiated
multiple 💥😢
life
insurance
policies,
then you
let him hold all the access—
ownership,
beneficiary,
even of my fucking infant’s,
while he was an
unemployed,
combat vet,
(and evidently)
heavily-inappropriatedly-enmeshed
(🫂🖇️🫠🙃)
with the onboarding agent,
while simultaneously
attempting to murder my ass—
💥😭😔
and y’all
set him up to collect
upon my death:
the full
fucking
payout.
🙃☠️
(wait—
on both me,
and my daughter—
what up, familicide?)
🤯💀😑🏡🔪
totally chill,
totally not insane.
totally not a dateline episode? 😑✨
(??????)
👍
like—
sorry,
is the confusion
coming from the part
where
i tried to transfer my ira
via off-channel-now-deleted
communications? 🤯✨
through the rep
you assigned,
as she was potentially
sending smiley face texts
to my husband?
🤔🤯✨
—
was it the part
where you had me
sign medical disclosures 💀
and insurance paperwork—
from an ER hospital bed?
with someone whose idea of
conflict management✨
was low-key stalking my
locked down social media
from the office
while her colleagues giggle?
💀(🔫)
i’ve got
financial advisors
(!!!)
i don’t even know
dropping truth bombs
about my private life—
like it’s an
inside office fucking joke—
lol. 🤯
✨weird that i spiraled, huh.✨ 👨👩👧👦🪦💔
—
y’all keep asking:
“but how
does that connect
to your trauma,
your losses,
your weird-ass ptsd?”
babe.
are you new here?
📉📉📉
🤯
—
let’s draw you a map, since clearly:
✴️ i didn’t know her 🤯
✴️ y’all installed her 🤯
✴️ she walked me into policy docs 🤯
✴️ i tried to transfer my IRA 🤯
✴️ while she was neck-deep 🤯
✴️ in my husband’s private call logs 🤯
✴️ and he was out here 🤯
✴️ owning all the policies 🤯
✴️ with my name 🤯
✴️ and him on the death payout 🤯
—
✨meanwhile✨
you took
every premium
from my account—
from my name—
and then 🤯
when shit hit the fan,
you were like:
“damn,
that sounds personal.”
🧃🤡💀
—
no babe.
what’s more personal
is what happened after.
🔹when i fled.
🔹when i disclosed.
🔹when i maintained communications.
🔹when my savings collapsed.
🔹when the accounts got locked.
🔹when my child’s policy and my own—lapsed
‘cause y’all were too busy
jerking each other off in compliance. 💔
bro, all while
y’all rotated lawyers
trying to say
“but did you die tho?”
💀🤯
—
nah.
not this time.
but like—
don’t minimize
my relocation trauma
babe.
while y’all sit in
Milwaukee
(?? lol) 💔🥀
wearing matching polos
on a golf course—
writing policies like:
“she’s married,
he’s not working—
she’s totally about to get off’ed—
let’s sign her up for triple indemnity!”
✨🧾🤰💔💀⚰️✨
—
you created the conditions.
you facilitated the placement.
you took the money.
you dodged
every
fucking
question.
💀
and you’re shocked
that this shit blew up?
🤔🫠💥
—
corporate VPN bros—
this wasn’t “bad luck.”
this was reckless orchestration
with a side of
“whoops,
did we forget
to vet the hubby—
and his emotionally incestuous office wife?”
🤯😅👍
—
and now you wanna be like:
"but causation...?"
nah babe.
it’s giving coverup.
it’s giving:
"we don't log conflicts—
we promote them."
it’s giving:
you hired a whole
obsessed emotional side-piece
to handle
a vulnerable—
dv victim’s
family insurance plan.
💅💀🔫
—
next time
you wanna claim
“no duty owed” 💀
after putting your reps
in bed
(figuratively, paul—chill)
directly—
with your policyholders…
maybe fucking don’t.
💔💀✨
✶
(p.s. finra 👻)
boo.
