big girl business shit 🧚♀️✨🌙
i know
corporations ✨
think the general public
is fucking stupid—
but
guess what?
your condescension
is actually
the dumbest shit
in the fucking room.
✨🔮
i present to you:
🪄 independent contractor “logic”
✨💭💀🔥
based on: 💫
corporate finance
energetically fucking
responsibility dodging
like frat bros,
when the SA allegations—
hit the fucking squad.
(aka corporate clown school 101) 🤡✨
🧚♀️✨🌙
imagine me,
baby-faced
23-year-old,
running my first
yoga studio. ✨
🪷🧘♀️🌿
first big girl shit.
big girl llc shit. 🤸♀️
you know.
clown shit.
lol
all my teachers?
those bitches
were
independent contractors.
✨🧘🧠
and
guess what
that meant:
✶ i supervised them. 🌿🧘
✶ i set conduct standards. ✨
✶ i kept an eye + a fucking ear out for bullshit. 🙏
✶ if they crossed a fucking line with a student,
↳babe. so fucking weird—
↳i wasn’t magically off the fucking hook.
💡✨
bro,
absolutely
fucking
insane,
i know.
crazy how
liability
works like that.
🔥🧘♀️
then
late 20s,
i start a
little cleaning company.
🧹🧼✨🏠
most of my team?
🫧babe—
independent contractors. ✨
guess what:
✶ i oriented them. 💪🧹😅
✶ i gave oversight + guidance. 🧼✨
✶ i knew i was responsible for the work happening in clients’ homes.
↳and if one of them stole or broke shit?
↳yeah, i didn’t get to say “fuck it” 🚫
↳or ✨ not my fucking problem.✨
lol 🥺
so now
fast-forward.
northwestern mutual 💳✨
has reps handling…
wait for it…
🧀💰🤑✨
people’s
fucking
💸 bank accounts +
life insurance policies ⚡
and want to
sit across from me
look in my fucking face—
and say:
🧠💫
🤡💭✨
“oh, we owe no duty,
they’re just
independent contractors.”
😵💫💰✨
🤡🤡🤡
✨
oh word?
no fucking shit.
✨🤦♀️
i had
no fucking idea
the liability chain
didn’t fucking exist—
😵💫🌀🤯
shit,
really wish
i knew this info
idk
15 fucking years ago.
🤡🤪🎉🤸
LMFAO.
yo.
did i hallucinate that too?
nah.
bro—
i had
more responsibility
supervising yoga teachers
and house cleaners
than you’re claiming
to have
supervising people
who could literally structure
a murder-for-profit scheme.
✨🤔✨
okie doke.
so let’s get this straight:
✶ if i, as a yoga studio owner,
↳was liable for what my independent contractors did with students…
✶ if i, as a cleaning company owner,
↳was liable for what my independent contractors did in clients’ homes…
💡✨
then you,
a billion-dollar fucking financial firm,
aren’t.
ok.
truly—
fucking
delusional
level bullshit.
and the shit that slaps?
yo. these bitches
induce
hundreds of fucking people
—a year✨
in colorado alone
into this same structure.
babe,
they know reliance
is fucking inherent.
they know the general public
expects fucking oversight.
and then
they wanna stand there,
deadass serious—
like: 🤡💭
✨😶🌫️ “oops, no duty, too bad babe.”😶🌫️✨
bro. 😨😨
nah.
that is
audacious heights
of fucking clown town 🤡✨
absolute goddamn bullshit.
yo.
my financial and legal aces—
🗣️ the jury isn’t gonna buy it.
like?— 🤯✨
because
listen—
we,
the general public, ✨
are not
fucking idiots.
🧠⚡️✨
holy shit.
✶
(p.s. finra 👻) boo.
💀
