✨psych deep dive: basic bitch 101; 😈 a mediocre insurance saga

okay.
trust me—
this is not
how i wanted
to spend my morning.
but here i am,
trying to psychologically
understand
how a room of grown adults
could treat egregious misconduct
like a sorority rejection squad ✨
fuming over the feeling
of never quite being
fucking cool enough
to be picked—
for fucking anything.
so excuse my ass,
while i break this shit down,
in my opinion and experience,
how this kind
of ludicrous,
vile ass bullshit
actually happens.

…

a ✨psych deep dive:
the basic bitch squad; 😈
a mediocre insurance saga
(my take)

👢🎃🥤🍁✨

ok so,
✨i fucked up.✨
because
i should have seen
these bitches coming—
but nah,
i got fucking played
listen—
this wasn’t
“financial professionals.”
this was
below average girls ✨
who never got chosen growing up
and are bringing their
fear of inadequacy
to fucking work.

💋🐍💔

straight up
irate, babe—
at their
basic bitch—
✨rank and position✨
within
their own
fucking day job,
their marriages,
and their whole fucking life.

🐑🐑🐑✨

—

baby,
these are
the ones who
spent years
being invisible. ✨
never picked first by a dude,
never quite
figured out their own
personal aesthetic—
always, ✨
fucking always
look slightly fucking awkward,
couldn’t quite figure out the outfit,
like a high ranking “karen” stuck in the 2010’s—
and bro
fucking eternally✨—
ignored by the
“funny, black-nail-polish girl”
with an actual personality.
it’s tragic—
chronically overlooked.
devastatingly,
never center stage.
never enough attention.

✨🐍💔

—

ok, so fast-forward:
babe,
for context:

this ain’t blackrock—
yo,
they’re not at goldman.
—not berkshire 😢
nah,
they’re at
northwestern mutual✨
full-grown ass adults,
scamming people out
of life insurance,
calling their parent’s
social networks ✨
to sling fucking
life policies—
(& intentionally lapsing them)
trading gossip
like they’re still
in fucking high school.
because look—
they’re caught
in a goddamn
pyramid scheme ✨
of mid-tier
fucking brain numbing levels
of mediocrity in
their boring ass own existence.
✨🚶‍♂️🚶‍♀️🚶😴

—

so,
the scene:

✨

i walk in—
pregnant, still hot, still myself.
microinfluencer.
funny. yoga. travel. charisma.
secure,
babe—
with a whole ass actual identity.
🦋🌈→🔥💀⚡️

aka: walking trigger for every woman
who’s been invisible since 2004.

🔥

my husband:
tall,
military vet recruit.
golden boy.
ivy.
decent jawline.
an audacious fucking flirt—
📈✨🆕

aka:
their quarterback fantasy
come to fucking life. ✨🔥✨

together?

👑💅💋✨
the “quarterback + alt cheerleader” myth
they never got to be—
walking through
their desperate ass doors.

😑

and suddenly?
shit babe—
this is it,
they’ve been waiting for this shit:
they finally get a shot to flip this script.

🐍🤝👩‍💻👩‍💻👩‍💻✨

sweetie—
besides having an
in office affair 🐍
with the other
high status “power” dudes
in the fucking cubicle gang,
(who unfortunately,
assumably, straight ignore them)—
yo:

✨they’ve been waiting for this moment their whole fucking lives.

let’s fucking go.

—

the girlboss insurance ensemble: ✨🫠

these women?
💔🤡🔪💌💋💀✨
yo….
never been selected.
not the first choice
of girlfriend,
of anything—
presumably hate their husbands—
never had a dude above 5’7’’
beg for their attention—
definitely not the threat.
just background noise
to hotter stories,
so babe,
these are
the women✨
people
fucking
always
seem to forget.

(sad violin)

🎻😢🎶✨

—

and now?
they’re in their 30s and 40s,
watching a
mid-minus coworker
“take the husband” ❤️‍🔥👀🔪
while the
unconventional cool wife
gets fucking scammed,
potentially an std—
pukes her ass off
and pays all the fucking bills.

👀🙏✨😍

wait but,
instead of stepping in?
supervising shit? ✨
you know—
like fully-mentally formed rational
financial professional grown-ups—
they were like:
”yes bitch”
🥰🥺👉👈💖
omfg! go get him—
these little homicidal
sluts giggled.
threw it in my face—
lmfao
yo,
they fucking cheered that shit on.

🤫✨

—

think about it:

this mid-ass girl,
with an obsession ✨
that would
never fucking quit,
who’s got
zero fucking internal social alarms,
clocking her desperation,
as she,
in full ass public—
endlessly
fucking
attempts
to get attention 😵‍💫🔪
from a married man—
with a fucking newborn—

was living their fucking dream.

👀❤️‍🔥🫦✨

bro,
straight up.

how fucking
weird,
creepy—
invasive,
and fucking dangerous
is that shit? 😨

—

babe,
because it’s
combined with
their straight up—
formal fucking
inducement to fund
whole-ass fucking careers—
spousal death payouts—
and beneficiary access.

😈💣💣🥀💀✨

😭

lmfao.

what a fucking disaster.

✨🔥👹⚖️🐍✨

babe.
it wasn’t financial support.
it was a
goddamn spectator sport.
home team insurance squad—
and my pregnancy
as the fucking
halftime show.

🔥✨😇🤝🔪✨

seriously,
because
being jealous
is easier than
being fucking ethical.
because calling me:

“hostile”
immediately fucking
after
i disclose:
goddamn violence,
protection orders,
financial devastation,
and being
fucking abandoned
with our fucking baby—
via your fucking ex coworker,
—
was fucking easier
than reading a fucking policy manual.

🔥🐍

because
watching someone
like me
fall apart?
babe,
you fucking loved it.

✨💋🕷💥🩸🍷👠💄

fucking miss me
with the
we had no idea.
you watched it happen.
you literally
laughed in my fucking face—
as you
smiled and insinuated,
during an active fucking
protective order,
that my husband
had a fucking affair,
with my whole ass fucking
financial rep.
and then?
these bitches
intentionally lapse
all three family policies,
while you’re
literally,
at that exact fucking moment,
in fucking writing—
taking my—
full ass fucking bank details
and discussing fucking policy shit.

😨😨😨😨✨

that’s insane
levels of blatant
fucking misconduct.

lmfao.
wow.

yeah,
babe—
it’s that level
of fucking delusional.

🥀

—

bottom line,
they really thought,
yo,
let’s fuck her—
continuously,
post assault disclosure,
post financial scam,
post-fucking-everything.

yes,
that eschelon
of zero shits given.

✨🤡🤡🤡🔪

for real
and that’s why—
these insecure-ass
grown fucking women,
are dangerous as fuck.

🐍✨💅

shit,
they’ll get you
straight killed.
and fucking laugh.

💋✨