🏰🧚♀️✨ can you fucking imagine? 🤰🥊💥💰✨
aka:
a cheater
and a beater
the full fucking package.
✨👹🔥✨🤰🥊💥💰✨
—
bro,
it’s a fucking
fairy tale.
🏰🧚♀️✨
nah,
really
picture shit shit—
you date some clown.
he immediately
starts couch-surfing
at your place,
bro instantly
lies,
steals pills,
starts drinking to full blackout—
definitely text cheats,
plays broke-boy fucking olympics.
you block him.
case fucking closed.
✨💋
except nah.
combat vet.
ptsd.
full-fucking blown
individual misusing
substances. (plural)
but the war, babe.
aka the
“he’s been through shit”
excuse starter pack.
so
babe,
you try grace.
you bring him home
for christmas,
stays a month—
knows the whole fam,
falls back into habits.
burns that shit.
you
block his ass,
again.
—
fast forward—
this dickhead crawls
out back of
the depths of hell
via email,
baby—
“i need your help.”
and
because
you’re fucking
soft-hearted,
you answer.
🪦✨
context:
you
miscarried last year.
you’re still
fucked up
from it.
the dude you really
wanted to be daddy?
babe,
he already
knocked up
another chick
and is playing
house or whatever—
over fucking there.
—
so armed
with that fucking
knowledge
of that bottomless-ass pain—
this motherfucker
slides in with,
🏰🧚♀️✨ ”sam, let me be your baby daddy.”
obviously
weaponizing
your suffering
like a fucking
get out of jail free card.
✨🗑️✨
—
babe.
boom,
pregnant instantly. 💫
you text him the stick pic.
straight ghosts for 24 hours.
translation: had to run
and cry to the ex.
(sadly been there)
but then
shit, ✨🔪
he reappears,
lovebombing
the fucking shit
out of you
into
🏰💭🦄✨🧚♀️
legal fucking marriage.
so
june 2023,
one month pregnant,
and he swears
it’s forever,
babe
he’s
“locked the fuck in.”
🪄✨🫂💥
—
weeks later,
linkedin recruiter
sends him a lil
“come work for us ;)”
✨🐷🏛️💰🤝🏻✨
fuck—
you’re like
babe,
kinda seems like
a fucking pyramid scheme—
but suddenly?
he’s at a financial firm. 🐷🤝🏻✨
and babe,
after his interview?
they request specifically
that you, his wifey
come in fucking office—
to the glass building
with their name
plastered on the fucking side.
girlie,
they sit you down,
now 8 weeks pregnant—
pitch you ✨🤡
fucking fairy tales
about ✍🏼✨🐷🤝🏻✨
“sky’s the limit” money,
as long as you
bankroll him through licensing.
and you’re thinking,
“ok maybe stability.”
✨👹⚔️👿✨
—
fucking plot twist:
congratulations babe!
you just signed up
for hell
and a wasteland
of fucking demons
and financial devastation.
✨🤝🏻💰👹🔪💔✨
here we fucking go.
he’s paired
with a genetically tragic
female coworker,
whole office
treating it
like a high school rerun—
💰😈🪓
yo.
now he disappears.
you’re pregnant,
hustling multiple jobs,
cleaning houses,
paying bills,
giving him your paid-off car,
draining
fucking thousands
in savings.
maxing out credit cards,
he’s just,
always gone.
🐍✨
angel—
his excuse:
“i’m at the office.” 🙏🏼✨🤷🏼♂️
his location:
“is that a random condo in denver?”
”a fucking brewery?”
”turned the fuck off”
✨🤘🏼🤷🏼♂️✨
lmfao
yo—
do the math.
💔👻✨
you confront him?
start trying
to leave him?
lol.
yo, record shows,
everytime
you got loud
about his fuckery—
asked if he was cheating,
or flat out
asked for a fucking divorce?
babe—
he beats
the fucking
shit out of you.
🤰🥊💥💰✨
bro,
it was so bad,
i seriously blocked
this shit out.
the main records?
hospital.
court.
photos.
the fucking texts.
✨💔🐍
yo.
picture it.
second trimester.
third trimester.
pregnant belly,
bruises on my skull.
you’re literally
growing life
while he’s trying
to knock it fucking
out of you.
and still—
yo,
you’re begging him
to leave your house,
and he fucking won’t.
gaslighting like
it’s an
actual career path.
✨👨🏼👹🔥✨🤷🏼♂️
“baby it’s trish making me stay late.” 🙏🏼✨🤷🏼♂️
oh right.
trish.
definitely trish.
and when you’re
8 months pregnant?
husband has made
zero income ✨
your entire
fucking pregnancy?
and you’re wondering
why he’s at the office ✨
from dawn
until fucking…
whenever.
✨👤 🤷🏼♂️✨
babe,
can you work from home?
🤫❤️📱
“nah babe,
i know
you’re 9 months preg—
and i made
absolutely
no fucking money
in almost six months,
and your bank account
is in the negative,
but
trish is insisting
i’m physically in-office
all week…
✨🤷🏼♂️✨
lol
while
you manage
the dogs
by yourself
:(
—but it’s for the fam”
✨🫂🤷♀️
(meanwhile,
other coworkers
aren’t coming in at all,
fucking straight
zooming in
with their cameras off
lmfao cool.)
✨🤷🏼♂️✨
—
the fuck? 😀✨
by delivery time?
your bank account:
fucking cratered.
😀✨
your car: babe,
he totaled that shit,
in 3 months.
😀✨
your savings: zero.
😀✨
his income: zero.
😀✨
the office goblin?
still creeping,
“just a work friend”
funneling fucking perks.
you’re paying for
their affair
with fucking overdraft fees.
✨🤰💥🥊✨🤷🏼♂️✨
and by
cleaning houses,
9 months pregnant, 👏🏻✨
so they can grab
a lunchbreak beer.
✨🤷🏼♂️✨
and extort
almost a grand,
off your credit card,
in a month—
at peak liaison
date ranges 💫
✨🤷🏼♂️✨
straight up—
evidently,
paying 👏🏻✨
for meals / hotels,
for my husband
and his coworker, 👏🏻✨
while pregnant.
👏🏻🤰✨
yup.
😘💳✨🫥
—
and cherry on fucking top?
babe,
she’s magically
“assigned”
to manage your money,
aka, the whole fucking reason,
you agreed to this shit
in the first place.
for fucking finances.
you try to move
your accounts,
rollover fucking assets,
finally.
actually handle
the adult shit.
you know,
shit you
talked about
in those
”financial meetings”
that induced you
into the fucking firm,
from the fucking jump.
✨🤡✨🤷🏼♂️✨
but when you ask?
yo.
this bitch ghosts.
leaves you in the insta dm’s,
with no other channel
✨🤡 for direct contact.
doesn’t give her number.
effectively blocks you
the fuck out.
her first outreach?
an auto email
✨🤡
asking for
your medical records.
like,
what?
hi.
like imagine— ✨🤡
you’re abused,
broke,
pregnant,
fucking dying—
and the “professional”
✨🤡🪓
handling
your money
only pops up like,
🗣️
“hey babe,
forward me
your complete,
private fucking
health history.”
✨🐊✨
—
yup.
that’s the picture.
no fiduciary talk.
no legal geometry.
just:
✨🤡🪓
he cheats.
he beats.
he steals.
and the firm?
hands the side chick
”in training”
with zero
fucking supervision—
your life
in a fucking manila folder.
—
🤰🥊💥💀💰✨
and then
the encore.
after all that—
the cheating,
the bruises,
the manual fucking strangulation,
the broke-ass lies,
the overdrafts,
the totaled car,
the goblin-turned-advisor?
this original fucking company ✨💀🪓🙂
the same one
that lured him in
on fucking linkedin
when you were
newly married ✨
and barely pregnant, ✨
comes for you.
after lapsing all
three fucking policies—
like,
👈✨👉
✨ “nah—girlie?
what if you’re the fucking problem.” ✨
🕊️
🕊️
🕊️
🕊️
ok. ✨💩✨
ma’am.
i’m on fucking welfare.
your poster boy
✨🤥💍🤫❤️🔥✨
stole my fucking
entire tuition refund.
swore his GI Bill was mine—
then snatched that shit
for himself.
straight up
abandoned his daughter.
🏃💨
no visits.
no calls.
no child support.
(it’s $87 and court mandated)
hasn’t seen her face,
in almost a full fucking year.
fucked my savings,
stole $3k tax refund,
because
he apparently
hadn’t paid
since like
fucking 2022 🦈💥
left me drowning
with all the fucking debt,
for cars to get to an office,
where he could—
fuck with an office goblin
while robbing me fucking blind,
babe,
straight
chokes me out
when i caught the fuck on.
✨🤰💰🔫✨
shit is a fucking nightmare.
left me with the baby,
and all the fucking bills.
and then
this absolutely demonic
financial instituition,
you—
👹✨💸
the company that
lit the fucking match—
are forcing me
to drag their ass
into court.
🤡✨
—
front page shit:
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
financial firm
recruits violent
broke vet,
conceals ongoing
office affair,
lets him
fucking demolish
pregnant wife’s life,
beat her into compliance—
then makes her
sue for material facts,
while mistress stalks—
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
…
and husband
is out on a dv bond
for strangling her
while contracted
to their fucking firm.
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
shit—
that was long.
tragic?
nah.
i’m from jersey.
seen worse,
shit’s not tragedy,
it’s a fucking mugshot.
👋😊🖕🏻✨
