bro, i just woke up from this weird-ass nightmare… ✨🛌👹 powder fucking everywhere ❄️

❄️💤 the cubicle coke party 💤❄️
aka: a fictional dramatization with disturbing attention to detail

(absolutely satire, total fiction, a dreamscape.
any resemblance to real events is legally hilarious.)

—

…a fictitious nightmare…

✨🛌👹❄️✨

✦

last night,
just sleeping next to my baby…
peaceful as fuck
until—
i wake up
soaked in sweat
heart racing
head screaming

this vivid ass nightmare
in my brain,
thank god it’s totally fake✨
and never happened,
exactly like this—

but in the fictional dream?

it’s some random thursday.
✨december 7, 2023✨
maybe.
in the dream.
allegedly.
(yo…IN THE DREAM)
it’s a lame office cubicle holiday party—

people are badly dressed…
everyone looks like
they lost a bet with
h&m clearance 👹🔥
and had a mom
that failed
to shame them
hard enough
to avoid chronic
awkward forward hunching.

anyway.
i show up
✨very visibly pregnant,
just been punched, 😱🔥
trying to survive life—
but clearly
about to have this child.
but babe—
it’s a nightmare
and i’m fucking
oddly paying for some
murderous dude’s
”soft launch”
into a “job”
but like—
we take
✨a lame ass group pic.
and then randomly 💥—
this awkward associate 🧟‍♂️
mouth slightly open
listing her airport layovers—
while everyone
stands there
openly
uncomfortable af.

her energy?
✨ star of the debutante ball for cubicle royalty ✨

but shit—
now? 🧟‍♂️❄️
she’s in the corner,
fucking rocking.
literally.
emotionally.
spiritually.

but yo—
it’s a nightmare 💥
the chick
is fucking weird.
but honestly,
whatever.
forgettable face.

but babe?!?
now she’s sitting
fucking staring at you 🧟‍♂️❄️
yo,
her face breaks.
not in grief.
in ugly-ass entitlement.
because 🧟‍♂️ in her head?
yo, 💥
she was the main character.
this was her nightmare—
✨ 👹🛌😱
and that party??
was her big snow-fueled reveal fantasy✨ ❄️
not your third trimester.

but like,
i just stood there
because—
is she ok??
bitch, i got this
baby bump front and center
and like,
shit—
did this
goblin’s delusion crack?

because like??
✨ fucking unfortunately—
hi—
real wife.
real family.
real baby.
real fucking bruises.
and she starts
fucking shaking,
bro sweating.

(yo, wake me up
—the fuck?) 💤

💭✨

…

❄️ and how does a white-girl
yayo mistress handle
being demoted from
main cubicle character
to snow-supplying ❄️
side piece?

emotional fucking meltdown. 💥

tears, threats, tantrums.
baby,
manipulation.

some light emotional fraud.

but
definitely
not…

💥high tier💥
rich white girl stimulants?

❄️??

💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

certainly NOT.

✨🛌😈

—

babe!
shit,
we can’t wake the fuck up.

💭✨🌪️😱

fuuuuuuuuuck.

then—
cut to:

🕒 5:42 AM —
(in the dream 💤✨)
“had to go to 7/11…
made myself puke…
felt off all night.”

bro, 🌪️😱
you’re still fucking hallucinating,
still in this weird ass nightmare—
but the increasingly
deranged-looking dude?
with an overgrown beard,
eyes twitching,
jaunt-ass face?

bam
demon in this
absolutely not real
fucking nightmare???

✨🛌👹✨

yo,
pre-dad / dad-bod?!
💥left your pregnant-ass bed💥—

(IN THE DREAM)

🥀

…

like—

location turned off?
party just ended???
mouthbreather acting weird?

bro but,
in this nightmare? 💥

shit.

✦ "felt off" = i do blow and then fuck my colleague
✦ vomiting = physical crash + stimulant fucking overload
✦ aka: needed to drive my car

to her apartment…

…
to do a line? …
and get a bj???
in the middle of the night?!?!

(IN THE FUCKING DREAM) 💥💥💥

lol nah,
shut the fuck up.
we’re still nightmaring—fucking chill.

lol,
come on,
that would literally
never FUCKING happen
in real life—
ever.

💥💥💥

but in this fucking nightmare? 💋

✨🛌👹✨

yo.
it is brutal.
you’re cleaning houses,
getting your ass kicked on the regular,
drained fucking everything…
in 6 months.
about
to
goddamn give birth with
💥💥💥 -$600

but…

💋👹✨💥

→ he ran straight to her apartment.
→ in his wife’s car??
→ to manage the meltdown?
→ and snort blow???
→ and probably??…ew.

🏃💨👻✨

and charge it to…
his pregnant wife?💥💥💥

✨

no. no. no.

!

and like,
the work hours?!
babe???

naaaaaaahhhh—
💥 don’t be fucking stupid.

but…

here though???

this is a bad dream💥, babe.✨
the goddamn
fucking nightmare,
that totally
did
not
happen.

…

and here?!?!

baby,
here
she cried, 🥀
he got a sympathy blowjob…

✨(IN THE DREAM)✨

“babe… 😫
you’re still with your pregnant wife?”

and he rolled over—
wiped the powder off his nose,
(IN THIS FAKE-ASS DREAM)

✨💀😱✨

“i know, right? (snorts line)…she’s fucking crazy.”

✨

🌪️😱
🌪️😱
🌪️😱

✨

—

but
then
i

💥💥💥💥 🛌😨💦

WOKE UP—
with a punch to the skull.

in the ER.

💥😰

damn.
shit was crazy.
isn’t that fucking wild?

—

✦

babe, i am
sooooo fucking glad—
that never fucking happened.

🐑🐑🐑...😵‍💫