compliance horror stories, vol. 2: ✶ google, “what is detrimental reliance?” 🤝🕊️

✶

yo,
💸💸💸
the absolute
most savage,
brutal,
and ironic part—
is that, lol
i came in peace.

🫱😐🕊️

really.
i wanted to build something.

i didn’t roll in
with some class-action attitude.
i was just a dumbass
who actually believed
in your “family” vibes,
your leadership pep talks,
and all that
legacy-building propaganda. 📈🪄

like, imagine this:
i fully liquidate my entire life—
school savings,
rainy day fund,
actual car (paid off, thanks)—
🚗💀🤡
co-signed another i couldn’t afford,
based on the dream—
because your team
swore up and down that
this was a
✨ safe financial decision.
and honestly?
i bought it. 🤡
i let my then-partner
chase his finance bro fantasies
with your “guidance,”
while i cleaned houses pregnant
and told myself,
“this is what building
generational stability looks like, babe.”
lmao.
i gave him my fucking car
so he could drive to your office
to “network” and “grow his book.”
(it’s fine, he totaled it. i only cried, like, once.)

i disclosed every personal
and financial detail—
my income,
my liabilities,
my health details,
my abuse history,
my actual mental state—
because your people
said that’s what family does.
i sat through the meetings,
shook hands,
smiled at the wives,
and straight-up trusted every word.

and bro.
seriously.
let’s not forget—
i literally turned my own life
into free fucking advertising for you.
i opened up my phone,
scrolled through
every contact,
handed him
hundreds of names—
family,
friends,
randoms—
so he could pitch
your values and loyalty
and sell those policies.
i vouched for y’all.
i posted about it,
talked about it,
tried to get the people i love
to trust your institution
the way i did.

i told my own community,
“they’re different.
this is safe.
they look out for you.”
🌈🕊️💖✨

shit: biggest lie i’ve ever told. 💀🪦

after all that?
after literally
going full on
fucking walking billboard,
sacrificing my dignity
for the cause,
bro—
i get erased.
paying for shit,
but removed as beneficiary?
taken off as owner?
when i’m the…
only parent?
and then fucking gaslit?
👏👏👏👏

bro.
wtf.

🤯

this is
like…a
billion
dollar
firm
(?!?!?)

💸🧟‍♀️
🤯🤯

🚨 why are you fucking with an active dv survivor????? 🚨

no, but really—
a single mom
with like $12
and only
a will to survive?
🧃🤯💳📉💀

when my own people
asked what happened?
when i couldn’t explain
why i’d been erased 🫥🤝
off my daughter’s policy,
the one my partner abandoned—
never paid a dime of support—
🚩🚩
(besides 1x ever,
when i mentioned my…
financial rep….
??!??!?!?!???
no really.)
🚩🚩
when i got zero notice,
i had nothing but silence,
a fuck ton of embarrassment—
and a hell of a lot of regret.

but wait—
could it get worse?

when the money ran dry
and my husband was actively
draining my credit cards
while i was literally
putting together
dollar-store-christmas-gifts
🧑‍🎄🧑‍🎄🧑‍🎄
for your squad,
i still didn’t question it.
i just kept showing up.
i kept trusting you.
is that…like…
detrimental reliance,
like…
something like that
right? 😐😐

truly—
broke,
single mom—
help me figure it out. 🧃🧃
you know,
just in case
anyone’s looking
to cite a tort.
(!!)

then the true
👑 “lol fuck you”—
the rep i thought was safe,
🚩🚩
my own financial girlie—
who,
let’s be honest,
was way too cozy
with my legal-other-half,
gets assigned to me,
🙃🙃🙃🙃
days before i give birth.
and do i flip out?
nah.
i let her in my home,
i let her hold my baby,
🙃
i try to fucking transfer
my last scrap
of an IRA to her.
🙃
(!!!!!!!!!)
like,
that’s how much
i trusted your “culture.” lol.

even as i’m broke, 🚩
literally fucking battered, 🚩
on food stamps, 🚩
escaping cross-country, 🚩
because my life’s
gone full house fire—
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
even then,
i still don’t lose it on y’all.

i kept it professional.
i kept it friendly.
i still trusted you.

🫠💀💀

i literally
reach out for help.
i tell you the truth:
i can’t access
my own kid’s policy,
we’re not safe,
he’s a fucking disaster,
and we’re both at high risk.

and suddenly?
your answer
is to label me “hostile.”
not, “damn, what actually happened here?”
not, “how can we protect you”
not, “maybe we should audit how much we let the boys’ club run wild.”
💀💀💀

nah.
just hostile.
so now
i’m left in ruins,
my whole fucking future
torched because i believed—
not just in the policies,
but in the people,
the whole institution. 💫

that’s the biggest bit of bullshit.
the only “wealth” i built
was in trauma
and betrayal during
an outright fucking emergency.
🙏

thanks for the memories.
congrats,
you played me.
now it’s just—
what?
💸 case law legacy shit?
💸 customer service holds?

i’ll let you know,
when i get a
single fucking second
to surface for air—
until then,
i’ll be over here
googling “what is
promissory estoppel?”
and doing math
on how to pay my electric bill.

💔

🤝🕊️