neutral observations on a legacy of loss 🥀🦷 (and dental decay)
just blowing
off
some steam
in a
do not go
straight-to-jail
kinda way
🪷🧘🏼♀️
✶
ok
💀
hey!
my personal
spawn of a demon,
did you really
try to
out-maneuver me?
you—
💸🧌
of all fucking people?
who i have personally
outwitted
in every
measurable fucking reality.
like,
you looked at me
and thought,
💡"fuck it, i’m gonna fuck with this bitch."
lmao.
bro—why?
dire miscalculation.
💸🏦📉
bro.
the one person
who should have
known exactly
what happens
when i—
🧠💥 lock the fuck in.
oh…
my already balding,
walking regret—
let’s be honest:
there’s plenty
of radio static
buzzing
around in my skull,
but when
that adhd superdrive hits?
🧠💥 🦸🏼♀️👊🏼⚡
oh, babe. 🚩
it’s game fucking over.
look,
i may not be like—
legally blonde,
but my specialty?
bitch—survival.
my credentials: trauma.
my degree: not fucking dying.
my spidey-senses
go full siren
the second
i’m being set the fuck up.
i’m not the boss fight you wanted—
i’m the final boss you fucking deserved.
🏃♂️🦷👹🚗
yo, and let’s be clear:
🗣🗣 i do this
for every single woman
you’ve fucked over—
the exes
you stole from,
cheated on,
left a mess for.
for the legal ex
you absolutely fucked,
for every sneaky,
weak-gremlin move
that made grown women cry—
not because you’re hot,
but because
🗣 you’re a violent,
🗣 controlling,
🗣 manipulative,
🗣💥 deeply dangerous
fucking dude.
bro—
even for the ones
i never liked—
because, let’s be real,
🗣🗣🗣
you are
elite
level
destructive.
and babe,
you never got one
over on me.
i just thought,
“nah, he can’t be
that fucking stupid.”
💀 so fucking wrong.
turns out you’re exactly
that fucking stupid.
sounding
the alarm
on you and your
violent-ass chaos?
bro—never gets old.
ever.
and you
really
thought
you could poke the fucking dragon?
turn this into
some low-budget
office drama,
with the c-squad?
while getting
an emotional cubicle handjob?
from a chick
whose teeth
are still waiting
for her trust fund to clear?
🥀🦷💀
lol. wrong.
my evil king,
👹👑
you
dragged your
entire fucking financial firm,
compliance squad,
and the great
yellow-toothed goblin 🦷🐲
straight into
your own personal hell documentary.
🔥🔥🔥 starring: you.
here’s your reality check—
i’m not just
coming for receipts,
i’m coming
for maximum penalties
and a cc line
that’ll make your lawyers’ lawyers
stress the fuck out.
every regulator.
every DA.
every fucking dollar,
every policy—
i want it all.
🔥⚖️🧌🤑💸
because—seriously,
🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣
all of y’all are a danger to society.
🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣
y’all fostered
🗣 violence
🗣 and financial warfare
and then?
🗣 fucking laughed
as your
🗣 office watched,
thinking
you’d get away with it.
baby,
if you end up
on food stamps
when this is done, 😢🎻
maybe you’ll finally know
what it’s like
to survive on nothing
while everyone
pretends it’s your fucking fault.
except this time?
🏆 it actually fucking is.
damn.
like?
divine
karmic
intervention,
babe.
you punched me
in the head
at 9 months pregnant?
bet.
now the whole firm
is coming with you.
⚡💸
think of the kids—
babe,
🥺👉👈
think of my kid—
the one you abandoned?
while you played
cubicle-hubby
with your
whole closet full
of fucking
banana republic™,
and somehow?
every fit
still screams,
“hr orientation meets
dental malpractice”
bae?
tragic, babe.
but—
thank you,
beloved legally bound troll,
for being
the world’s most epic douchebag
🧑⚖️🦷💸🦹♂️
and for making sure
your entire company
and goblin bestie
crash-landed
right fucking beside you.
after all
that social climbing,
🔥 your big legacy?
punched
your pregnant wife
so many times
she ended up in the ER
because
you almost
got caught hiding
a low-level,
possibly-sexual,
high-key repulsive,
(those teeth, that face?)
office affair ✨
with a khaki-wearing,
skincare-failure queen
so desperate
for validation
she’d blow up
her own fucking life
just to feel
✨close to you—
while you were
newly married
and i was
carrying your dumb ass
(and your kid).
🤰🥊💥
✶
be proud, babe.
your dad?
🙏🪦
yeah,
he’d be fucking
mortified,
embarrassed,
and truly
rolling in his fucking grave.
🤰🥊💥
🤰🥊💥
🤰🥊💥
✶
a legacy you deserve.
🪦💀🦷🧌🔥
